SPEAKER_01: 0:00

You have to relieve yourself of the victim mentality. Even if you are, trust me, I know reality is crazy. And people come from fucked up situations. Rich and I know that very well because we didn't come from the best circumstances. But one, you have to get rid of that victim mentality. You have to free yourself of that because I feel like you can't move forward if you always see yourself as a victim and you tell yourself that story. I try not to say it every week, but for whatever reason, this topic really hit home. And, you know, I think what triggered it for me was watching young guys in our community. Actually, there was two or three stories that I saw in our immediate community that kind of triggered this episode. And I sent you the idea and most people should know rich, is not someone that enjoys repeating himself often. He hates the idea of just speaking just for the sake of speaking. And I'm sure if you guys couldn't tell, I do enjoy speaking. So, Rich just hit me back and was like, I think we discussed this topic already. And my response was like, we really didn't because this episode is about men that are in their late 20s or already in their 30s that feel like they want to quit. They want to quit whatever goals or dreams or ambitions they have. And they've already convinced themselves that they wasted their 20s. So today's episode is about wasting your 20s or the idea that you already wasted your 20s. And my response to Rich was, find a picture of you in your 20s and send it to me. And I'm going to send you pictures of me in my 20s. And instantly, Rich and I agreed, there's no way anybody could say they wasted their 20s. because if we are men in our late 30s and we're prideful and proud of what we've become and what we still have time to become in that moment in these two pictures that we have here rich and if you're on the audio podcast the picture of rich at 20 something holding his son looking absolutely depressed you got a t-shirt that the sleeve is sleeve looks like a scene better day and then you got a picture of fat Justin at Lollapalooza with no job I had no job at that moment with my good friend, Charlie, who runs a huge merch company now. If you would have asked us in this moment in our lives, if we were killing it, if we were crushing our 20s, what would be the response, Rich?

SPEAKER_00: 2:40

Bro, I think we were just trying to stay above water. When you're actually living in the moment in your 20s and you feel like you're in the trenches and you're just firefighting different situations, you're just trying to stay above water. So you don't even have time to reflect about whether you're crushing it at life or You're just kind of taking it day by day.

SPEAKER_01: 3:01

There is a narrative online about the lost generation or the loneliness epidemic. There is this narrative online about young men in their 20s that don't have it together. I have to call bullshit because... In the hood, where we're from, if the threshold that they're holding most men in their 20s is probably based on like a white American narrative of people that come from two parent households that have joint income that both went to college. When I was kind of reading through the research we had for this episode and getting feedback from our community, it almost felt like, shit, if these people are wasting their 20s and they're not quote unquote successful by the age of 28, then we most definitely wasted our 20s. And that's the measurement that we're going off of. So this idea of people wasting their 20s and following this narrative while you're still underwater drowning is bullshit. That's the first thing I thought of when I saw a picture of me and you in our 20s.

SPEAKER_00: 4:06

Yeah, I agree. And it really depends who you're comparing yourself to. A lot of times you're in your 20s and you feel like you don't have it all the way together, but you're looking at people people that are a little bit older than you that appear to do have it together. But these people are a little bit older, right? They probably have a better job or they went to college or they're just in a different place in life. So it really depends on who you're comparing yourself into. If you're comparing yourself against your peers, right? Most of your peers are going to feel like they're still going through it and they're still trying to figure out life and they feel stuck. But But who are you comparing yourself to? The people that are older than you, people on social media that appear to be wealthy or are just given the illusion that they're wealthy. It kind of just all depends.

SPEAKER_01: 4:58

I mean, look, we always say we're in our late 30s and we're looking forward to giving young men advice. But more importantly, I think what was the genesis of this platform was giving ourselves advice 10 or 15 years ago. So this is the perfect episode, right? Because we have photos. right in front of us of 15 years ago Rich and about 15 years ago Justin. And I sit here looking at this photo and I think about all the notes we took, our pre-prep meeting, how we were going to help young men in their 20s that feel like they're wasting their 20s. And honestly, the first thing that comes to mind, and this is going to summarize the introduction of this episode, is that I have great compassion for a young guy that's still trying to figure it out at the age of 27, 28, and 29 because my life didn't start catching momentum until I was in my 30s. And I'm talking about like making over$80,000 a year momentum. I don't know the measurement that a lot of these young guys are basing it off of, but you brought up a good point. Your success is predicated based on the pressure that society puts on you and your success and the pressure that you put on yourself is based on who you follow on social media, what bullshit you believe is reality. So I want to start this episode off with compassion. You did not waste your 20s. If you're still in your 20s, the There's no way you wasted it. This is the year of learning. This is the year of golpes. You're going to go through shit and you got to learn from it. I want to start there before we start giving out advice because these young men are not far behind. They just hit rock bottom. They went through a breakup. They got fired. Their mom kicked them out of their apartment because they were staying there too long. Okay, cool. It happens. Rich has definitely been through it and I know he's going to share some stories. I've most definitely been through it. I have some really embarrassing stories I'm going to share on today's episode, which I had to try to to figure out how to take people's name out. But I have some really embarrassing stories from my 20s that Rich at 39, man, kicking 40s door down. I laugh thinking about how I almost drowned. But when you're drowning, that shit ain't funny. Nothing is worth laughing.

SPEAKER_00: 7:04

Yeah. Man, I think about the picture I pulled up that was a 25-year-old Rich with a one-year-old child. And I said this off air, but it really started to make me think like, man, what type of things was I into, right? Like, where was my headspace at 20-something years old in my mid-20s already being a father? And, you know, I had this notion that if I just met my partner in my early 20s, that that was going to be the beginnings of a foundation that I can therefore use to, you know, navigate life. So it's like, oh, I already found my person. This is one less thing I have to worry about. Me and her are going to go to college. We're going to be successful. We're- Hustling backwards. Yeah. We're going to make six figures, et cetera, et cetera. So long story short, I had a five-year relationship with a woman that didn't work out. So my subsequent relationship after that was with a girl who I knew for a long time. We went to high school together. We started dating. We didn't plan for it, but she got pregnant and the relationship early on just didn't work out. So by default, my child was already at a disadvantage, right? Like he's already growing up or being born into like a broken home, which is devastating me, right? So I'm in my early 20s. I'm having a child and I'm trying to understand, you know, where I went wrong, trying to process things. Where did I go wrong? Why am I bringing a child into this world? I think I had maybe$200 in my bank account. It's like I'm mentally trying to figure out how am I going to pay for this newborn baby that I'm about to have. And it was a very stressful time for me. You know what I mean? I think hindsight is 20-20, right? Now I'm 37 and I'm able to reflect on that moment. And I think to myself, man, I really made it about finding my person and being in a relationship and wanting to build a foundation. I really thought that I needed someone by my side in order for me to quote unquote start life.

SPEAKER_01: 9:15

Where did that come from, Rich? Because I feel like in the three stories that really kicked off this episode in our community, two of them, ironically enough, came after a breakup. Instantly when they broke up with their partner that they were together with from high school, the minute they went through a breakup, they had that realization. And there's this codependency. I think that's... Where did that come from for you?

SPEAKER_00: 9:37

I think it came from growing up without a father.

SPEAKER_01: 9:41

Wow.

SPEAKER_00: 9:41

Right? So looking at my own family...

SPEAKER_01: 9:44

You don't want to repeat in your... You convinced yourself. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 9:47

Right. I saw a single mother raise three boys by herself. The story I told myself was, that's not going to be me. I'm going to find my person. I'm going to have a child. And we're just going to have the house with the white picket fence with the two kids and the dogs and, you know, live the American dream. That's how naive I thought. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01: 10:13

Looking back now, when you say that, what is your mind right now? I

SPEAKER_00: 10:16

mean, listen, I think we all want to pursue that. So I don't think I was wrong in wanting it. But to think that that should have been the priority in my early 20s, I think that's where the mistake was. And for me, the flip side of that, now that I reflect on it in my late 30s is, man, I should have really doubled down on working on me, right? Working on me, educating myself, going to college, getting a degree. getting a job, getting money, and the relationship, the woman, the child, the house, all those things will come in time. But if I had to do it all over again, that's sort of the switch that I would have made in my early 20s. By the way, that's not to say that I don't love my child. I love my child. My child, having a child at 24 years old accelerated my maturity. and my growth tenfold. I can never not attest my maturity in life and my strive for more if it wasn't for having a child so early on. So I don't regret anything about my past. But if you're someone out there who is 23, 24 and you're feeling stuck and you're feeling like, man, I feel like I don't have it all figured out yet. Like what is life? What is my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing? I I promise you prioritizing a relationship or someone else is probably not the answer. You should be focusing on yourself.

SPEAKER_01: 11:55

I love that. I want to set the table for our listeners. We are going to get into actionable advice. If you are in your 30s, and you feel like you're wasting your 20s. If you're in your late 20s, mid 20s, we got you covered. Trust me, this episode, we're gonna cover everything. And this time, what we're gonna do a little bit different than we've done on past episodes is Rich and I are gonna go back and forth on a, if we had a young man in front of us that was telling us, I'm in my late 20s, I wasted my 20s, they need big bro advice from Rich and Justin on how to get their life back together but in the next 30 days. I love this exercise because I feel like we tend to talk about long-term goals, the end of the marathon, and there's a lot of stuff that goes into the things you have to do before you even get to the race, which is changing your life. And I want to get into that actionable, zero dollars in the bank account, negative dollars in your bank account, overdrafted, or PNC bank account stories that me and Rich could tell you from, operating from a deficit, having too many loans. I'm talking about real life shit that we've been through, Rich. I want to give our listeners a four-week game plan on how to turn shit around and what are the most efficient and most actionable things you could do today versus giving them these crazy hypotheticals where they have nothing. So I want to meet our community where they're at. Four-week game plan. 30-day game plan on how to turn this ship around, because we believe you didn't waste your 20s, even if you're not in your 20s no more. So that's just me setting the table. Rich, I do want to say something about the story you just said, and we'll go through what the episode is. Jay-Z has a great line, I forget the song, where he says, to be Jay-Z now, you had to be Jay-Z then. And that makes me think of another common phrase that I hear a lot. If you change one thing, you change everything. So the level of clarity you have at 37 when you talk about you in that picture with a one-year-old Jensen, your newborn baby, and it's that clarity you have now. But in order to be rich now, you had to be rich then. I don't know how that phrase resonates with you, but I feel like that's what you were trying to say. You have to go through all these things to get the level of clarity you have now, to be in a position to give advice.

SPEAKER_00: 14:24

Yeah, for sure. And listen, I'm not saying that even if you decide to work on yourself, that it's going to be an easy path to not feeling stuck. You could very much double down on working on yourself and still be going down the wrong path. What I'm saying is the things that I've been through have shaped who I am. And I probably wouldn't be where I'm at today if I didn't go through those trials and tribulations, those failures, those early moments in life in my early 20s that really made me mature and accelerate my growth. So yeah, bro, hindsight is 20-20 for sure.

SPEAKER_01: 15:02

Rich, I do want to kick it off. off with the four-week game plan. The hypothetical situation here is we have a young man in front of us. He's in his late 20s. He hit rock bottom. He's down bad. He's telling us, I lost my girlfriend. I lost my job. I'm on social media all day. I see my friends taking vacations. I see my friends living a successful life. People I went to high school with, people I went to middle school with, they're having kids. They bought their I know that's a big one for our generation. A lot of young men can't even afford houses. People are taking vacations. Can you imagine where this young man is at right now and why he feels like he wasted his

SPEAKER_00: 15:45

20s? and you see your friends or even family members that are close in proximity of age to you, and it just feels like they have it together and they are more successful than you, I think that's where the hurt comes. Because you start to self-reflect and think, man, what is it about me that feels like I'm failing at this thing we call life? Look at John. So, I mean, look at someone.

SPEAKER_01: 16:31

And it's crazy because it's your peers, right? These are people who want to high school. So it's easy to measure yourself against people that you came up with.

SPEAKER_00: 16:38

Yeah, exactly. Bro, this dude is starting at ground zero. It sucks when you feel like everything is not going your way because now you feel stuck. Now you don't see a way out. And, you know, there's a lot of different, we're going to talk about this. There's a lot of different ways for this individual to get out of where they feel like they're currently stuck in. The problem is, There's more than one way to skin a cat, right? How do you tackle this problem of feeling stuck, feeling like everyone around you has it all figured out but you? That's what we're going to get into.

SPEAKER_01: 17:15

Our guy right now is stuck, and he hit play on this podcast. Off top, Rich, we're going to do a four-week, 30-day game plan to get them in motion, get them out of this rut. And I want to kick it off, and we'll do it like a draft. I'll go first, you'll go second.

SPEAKER_00: 17:34

Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. The

SPEAKER_01: 17:34

one thing I want to say is forget about week one. I'm going to start at week zero. Week zero is what you got going on in your mind. I think that shit is crucial. There's three things I want to touch on and I'm interested to hear your feedback and then you can go next, Rich.

SPEAKER_00: 17:49

Cool.

SPEAKER_01: 17:50

One is you have to relieve yourself of the victim mentality. Even if you are, trust me, I know reality is crazy and people come from fucked up situations. Rich and I know that very well because we didn't come from the best circumstances. But one, you have to get rid of that victim mentality. You have to free yourself of that because I feel like you can't move forward if you always see yourself as a victim and you tell yourself that story.

SPEAKER_00: 18:19

Yeah, 100% agree. That's a great starting point. Honestly, it's not a great starting point. It should be the only starting point.

SPEAKER_01: 18:27

Now, along with the victim mentality, I want to compound my number one with this is going to sound woo-woo, magical, self-belief, motivation. I promise you, Rich and I enjoy a good motivational video, but we take action. And I want to put these two things together. You have to believe that whatever it is that you see for yourself is actually possible. Now, I'm going to pair that with action because that can be a very empty-ass suggestion. If I just tell you, all right, I have negative balance in my bank account. My girl left me. I lost my job. I'm in my mom's house. And I'm in my fucking 20s. What you mean I got to believe? Easy, easy killer. I'm saying you have to believe because when you remove the victim mentality, there has to be something in there that you see beyond what you see in the mirror at that moment. So belief is so important that you can actually get out of this situation. I think belief with some action is huge in week zero. Again, this is week zero, not week one, because you don't need money. You don't have to do anything. It really is a mindset. And I think those three things are so important for me, Rich. I was writing down all these things they could do. They could get a job. They could text their friends, go out with their friends, get a haircut. I'm like, nah, bro. It really starts with a mindset.

SPEAKER_00: 19:46

Yeah. And not to say that those things are not important because honestly, bro, getting some money and having a job is going to set the foundation for every other improvement. So my sort of precursor to Week one.

SPEAKER_01: 20:04

We just started week zero. You got week one. So you're saying get some money in your pocket so you start feeling good. So you're saying Justin's giving out weird advice. Fuck believe. Get some money in your pocket. Then you'll start believing.

SPEAKER_00: 20:17

I got two for week one. Okay. These are crucial. One is going to summarize your week zero. You have to try to tackle one problem at a time. You got no job. You got no girl. You feel overweight. You have all these issues. You have to pick one to tackle. You're not going to solve them all in the next four weeks, eight weeks or whatever, right? That's a big problem, right? Because when you get overwhelmed. You can't find solutions if you're overwhelmed, right? And then you're trying to juggle too much. You already feel stuck. So you shouldn't be trying to juggle a lot. So week one, my advice is find a job. Get some money in your pocket. That is going to set the foundation. for every other improvement that you have to make. Well, what do I mean? How does me having a job and getting money create the foundation? Now you can pay for shit, right? You can pay for a gym membership. You can pay for a haircut that's going to make you feel good. You can buy yourself some clothes. You can take a girl out on a date. You can do all these things that can get you out of this rut, but it really starts with you having some money. That's my week one.

SPEAKER_01: 21:34

No, I love that one. And I'm going to leave the money portion of this four-week game plan to you because if there's anyone I know that gets active with the side hustle game, a lot of people don't know this about you, Rich. Your side hustle game was insane when we were younger. You were always about passive income, side income. Can you please share with our listeners a lot of the eBay shit? There was a lot of things you did when we were younger that a lot of people in our age group, especially Yeah, I mean,

SPEAKER_00: 22:08

listen, back in the day, we were all making minimum wage, working two, three part times, and it just wasn't enough. And I kind of always just figured out ways to make some side income through like retail arbitrage. So I would just buy shit at a discount, whether Marshalls, TJ Maxx, or even like a thrift store. And I had a keen sense for finding things that I feel like would go more on the side income. online or just not easily accessible to someone who's not from the East Coast. Through a lot of research, a lot of dedication, I was able to make a lot of side income to supplement the income that I was already making. I can't stress this enough, bro. Having money definitely alleviates a lot of the stress that you can be putting on yourself when you don't have it. Because like I said, it sets the foundation to solve a lot of other problems.

SPEAKER_01: 23:08

Well, Rich, at that time, that was an action by necessity, right? Like you weren't looking to get rich, flipping shit on eBay, making$10 to$20 per transaction. I don't even know how much you make after all the fees and the shipping and packaging, but that came from necessity because you had to solve your problem. And I think that's important for someone like you said, that what's the fastest way to eat a steak? one bite at a time. There's no way that you can just eat a whole steak in one sitting with one bite. And I don't know, you don't even notice this sometimes when you speak, because I feel like you're such a fucking automated beast. You are a good on process. We know that about you. And I think our community is going to learn that about you. Rich has always been the process part of our business. Justin is the dreamer, the visionary. I could dream up anything, but Rich is rooted in reality. And I want to mention that that's something you've always But I don't know anyone that would have done that at that time. And I just want to make it clear that came from necessity. You were just trying to figure out from point A to point B, not from point A

SPEAKER_00: 24:21

to point Z. going to be enough. Whatever I was making at the time wasn't going to be enough. I was a full-time student. I was working full-time, and I had this new baby on the way. It just wasn't going to be enough, and I had to figure out a way to supplement my income and make sure that when my child did arrive, that there was going to be enough bread for me to share with my child. Like you said, bro, it came out of necessity, not so much luxury. I wasn't going out buying sneakers with this shit. I was stacking bread for my newborn child.

SPEAKER_01: 25:07

I think that brings up another point this is probably more actionable advice but it wouldn't make sense if I mentioned it later in the show so I'm going to mention it now there's a phrase that I love and it's you can't fake urgency simple analogy is Have you ever watched sports or an MMA fight? If a fighter is down four rounds to zero and he's going into the fifth round, he knows that. And he's going to go in there like an animal with his back against the wall. You can't fake urgency. Game seven of any basketball game you've ever watched and you've seen some superhuman athletes, whether it be LeBron, Shea Gildress Alexander, Jalen Brunson, they do things that they didn't even know they were capable of because they know it's elimination time. I don't want to make everything a sports metaphor, but I just want to make it clear to anybody who does watch sports. That urgency, you can't fake it. Rich having a kid and not having enough money to fill the gap between how much money he makes with a side job created all this cyclone of thoughts and pain and googling shit and being on Reddit back then. Enough for you to go and do some obscure next, bro, I don't know anybody that did that. I know you didn't get that. I know you didn't get that from anybody in your social circle. You just thought to yourself, how do I solve this problem? And I want to make this point clear as a word of advice. Sometimes you got to let that pain sit in a little bit. Sometimes you got to listen to that pain. Pain is not only something that lives in your mind rent free, but it's also a fortune teller. If you really sit down and listen to your pain, you can think to yourself, what is it that's causing this pain? And how do I solve it? And in that moment of thinking, how do I solve it? Don't just sit there. That's when you take action. So I want to be clear with our community. We feel you. I know what that pain feels like. But pain is a fortune teller. You can see your future through that pain if you really listen to it. Now, don't sit in the pain. Take action, obviously. But you know what I mean? Let that desperation be your guide. That's something that is so nuanced, Rich. I don't know how to tie it into a pretty bowl, but I feel like that shit is crucial. And whenever we talk about our stories when we were younger, I feel like that's That's something that we glaze over because we get to the end of the story when the referee's holding our hand up and we have the championship belt and we miraculously knocked out the guy who was beating us for four rounds and we won the fight. But nobody talks about you sitting in that corner and being like, damn, my face is bloody, I'm getting my ass whooped by life, and it's about to be the fifth round, so I know I'm going to lose. I got to do whatever to stay in this fight. Fuck winning the fight, just staying in the fight. And I think that's the way When you're in your late 20s or early 30s and you feel like when you look back, you squandered it. I got news for you, bro. You didn't waste it because it's already gone. You're living right now in this moment right now. So you can sit and commiserate about the past and listen to this show feeling bad about yourself. This is the only episode I would recommend you shut the fucking podcast off. You stop the YouTube video right now and you just get to it. You get to a hit pause. Come back. I'm willing to. to forego you never listening to another episode of our podcast just so you can take care of this problem because it's so urgent. When that urgency shows, take action, bro. Tangent, but I felt like that's important because those are the little creases I want to be known for, Rich. I want failures to talk about these non-pretty parts of the process.

SPEAKER_00: 28:50

Yeah, for sure. And I'll put a bow on it. It's the reality check, bro. Everything that you've been doing up to this point is clearly not working. If you have no job, no girl, you're not happy with the way you look physically, and you feel like you're in pain, bro, you know what I mean? like you need a reality check. Whatever you've been doing the last two, three years, six months, 12 months is not working. You need drastic change. You need action. The bow that ties all this together is you need a reality check. Dust yourself off and start to move, start to get some motion and start to solve these problems one at a time. I hate the feeling of like, you said this earlier, like, oh man, the victim mentality, like feeling bad for yourself. It's like, bro, you have a lot of things that are not going right for you, that are not going your way. Bro,

SPEAKER_01: 29:50

let's not sugarcoat this shit. Me and you are not tolerant. That's why we get along, because we don't tolerate it. And I don't know if that's helpful for this community, because they're very vulnerable, but

SPEAKER_00: 30:00

I don't have space in my body. That's cool. That's cool. This segment is called the reality check. Shit is not working out for you, my bro. You have to change something.

SPEAKER_01: 30:11

Because at this moment, this is when the young man goes to either a substance, goes to their mother or their grandmother to get that warm shoulder to lean on and tell them everything's going to be all right. And Uncle Rich is just telling you, nah, bro, this is not what you need right now. You need reality to whip your ass and tell you that everything you've done, if everything you've done to this moment got you here, then obviously, everything you're doing is not working.

SPEAKER_00: 30:41

Yeah, exactly. And I feel like we definitely need to give them the sort of four to eight week reset framework because we're not just going to sit here and shit on you and tell you that you need to get up and do something and not tell you what to do. This is

SPEAKER_01: 30:56

crucial. This is the mindset. You got to get out of the mindset. All right, Rich, I want to get in some reasonable advice. This is my week one, week two advice. Cool. I think two things are important for this person. One is everything in life is a season. That's why we have seasons. If you look at plants, they have their seasons. Sometimes they're growing, sometimes they're blossoming, sometimes they're losing leaves. Everything is cyclical, including humans, most importantly humans. I think in your seasons, you have to be okay with letting certain groups of people and letting certain things fall to the wayside and moving forward. I say that because I truly believe believe you are what you consume and you become who you put yourself around. Two parts. One, you just become the people that you're always around. So whatever habits they have are the habits you have. And some weird shit happens when you finish college or you finish high school is that you have more of a fun, playful, less urgent group of friends and that carries you into your 20s. And sometimes when your life is automated in a more fun, playful, non-consequential lifestyle. You live with your mom. You're still with your girlfriend from high school and college. You tend to carry a lot of those bad habits or those habits that were cooling your 20s into your late 20s. And I can relate to that. I took advantage of my girlfriend from college because I didn't improve myself from college till I got to my late 30s. I didn't value my health. I gained a lot of weight from college into my mid 30s. I didn't value learning skills. I surrounded myself with a lot of people that I was a little smarter than, I was a little ahead of, and that made me feel good, but I wasn't challenging myself by bringing myself around people that can motivate me. And the last thing I'll say about this part of week one, life is seasons or life has seasons. Be okay with getting rid of old friends and old habits and old things you used to do and getting new things in your life is you have to understand that if you have a goal that is set for the future, you have to start building new habits for that goal of the future. That comes with getting rid of people in your life that only see you as your old self. That includes family too. I know that's a hot button issue in our community. A lot of people don't like to bring up their mom and dad, but a lot of that old identity comes from how these people see you and how you see yourself because of how you interact with these people. Rich, I don't know if you have anything to add to that one, but I do like the idea of being careful with the people you surround yourself with and the type of content and the stuff that you consume on the daily because I think you slowly become what you consume and who you surround yourself with.

SPEAKER_00: 33:51

Yeah, I think that's a great point. I think we should move the getting money a little bit up to maybe week three, week four because we're really unpacking this mindset.

SPEAKER_01: 34:02

I love it, yeah. I mean, think about it. We only have 30 days. We can come back with a part two of this episode and say, okay, from week five to week 12, here's what you should be doing. But I feel like this is essential. You can't skip these

SPEAKER_00: 34:14

things. You can't because now that I'm hearing you kind of break things down, I'm like, damn, you cannot not fix your environment around you and just go straight to getting a job and getting money. And then because your environment around you is not fixed, now you got people asking you for money. Now you got, you know what I mean? So like- I forgot about that. No, no, listen, bro. What you're saying is extremely essential. No, I forgot about

SPEAKER_01: 34:38

That

SPEAKER_00: 34:39

I forgot about. social circle that you realize weren't your people, cut them off too. Start to mobilize yourself to find a new social circle. Because I promise you, once you start to fix everything around you, then again, job part and continuing to move forward is going to be that much easier. You don't want to accelerate to getting the job and now you got people asking you for money, wanting to borrow money. Yo, can you spot me? Or having you pay for shit or just, you know what I mean? like not being a good part of your tribe. So I love that advice, bro.

SPEAKER_01: 35:44

I'm doing prayer hands emoji. Rich really summarized this section very well. And I could tell it came from a real place because you kind of blacked out. But clear the noise is incredible. I love that.

SPEAKER_00: 35:55

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01: 35:56

Where did it come from? Just want to, you don't have to get too personal. I just want to know why'd you zoom in so quick on that one?

SPEAKER_00: 36:03

Bro, because I really thought of what the advice that we're sharing and we're basically sharing like a reset framework. We've already established that all this shit that you've been doing is not working. So you need to reset. And before you find a job and get you some money and start to go out on dates and really going in the right direction, like you said, bro, you have to fix what's going on in your brain, what's going on in your mind, how you're feeling. What are the people that are influencing you? What are the people that are positively influencing you or negatively influencing you? And you got to clear the noise because you probably have things around you that are not ideal.

SPEAKER_01: 36:44

Yeah, imagine yourself like a slingshot or like a bow and arrow. The week five until you have$300,000 in your bank account and the world is yours, the slingshot is, or the bow and arrow rather, is you pulling that bow all the way back in order to give it the right momentum to move forward. And in order for you to properly get as much power out of the tool that is you, you're going to have to reset and really give yourself an opportunity to say, okay, this is now a life mission. Because the topic of the show is not like, yo, how do I make$10,000 in a month? No, no, no, no, we're not doing that. What we're saying is you convinced yourself to hit play on this episode because you identified with the idea that you wasted your 20s. If you truly believe that in your heart and in your gut and you're down bad, you need a reset. You need to give yourself an opportunity to give yourself some positive momentum by pulling that bow all the way back so you can move forward and really change your life. Because in your mind, you're making up for lost time. So I think that right there, Rich, great summary of it, clear the noise. And that comes with social circle, blocking anybody in your life, including your ex who is not helping you. you are what you consume. I think social media is a big thing for this generation. And I know we sound old as fuck by saying that generally, but if you really think about it, your algorithm is curated for you to see things that you aspire or want to see. So you're just going to see beautiful women, musicians or people in your life that are living their best lives, celebrities living their best life, people getting rich quick, So I know it sounds old, but you're talking about somebody that does marketing for a living and I'm an algorithm manipulator. It's what I do. It's my job to keep your eyes glued to that phone so you can keep believing that if I watch this content and I see this content, I'm going to become this content. But that's not how a six pack works. If you want abs, you have to cut calories and run and do shit with your body. You can't just look at a phone and assume you're going to get abs. That's not how it works with money. That's not how it works with fitness. And that's damn sure not how it works when you're down bad and you're wasting your 20s. So I love that framing, Rich. One thing I want to add to what you said, and it made me think about the pictures that we pulled up earlier, being back home. There's this phrase, and this came from talking to my nephew a few weeks ago. He was telling me how his life has changed a lot since he started getting a little bit of motion in the music business. We're talking about Damien. And he told me, you know, it's hard to keep doing what I'm doing and moving forward in my career with the music shit because I'm starting to get some motion. But a lot of my boys held me down back in the day and my girl held me down and I'm conflicted. I don't know how to deal with it. And I said something to him which translates to this episode. Think about the language, Damien. She held you down. He held you down. I think a lot of friendships and relationships that come from fucked up situations are people that are trying to figure it out together, but a lot of them don't have the answers. And it's crazy when you unpack the language of held me down and we see it as a positive phrase, which I think is kind of poetic. It's not about being around people that hold you down. And I'm not a fucking idiot. I know what hold you down means. I'm saying, try and create an algorithm or a Finsta account, a burner, a social media account that has a lot of positive information in it. A lot of self-help, a lot of good affirmation Surround yourself with people in your family who see the potential in you, people that want more for you. So it's going to sound corny, but the phrasing of held me down is a trap door. Be with people that help you grow. Surround yourself with people that want you to grow or surround yourself with people that you aspire to be or become because it's going to make you feel like you have so much more to do to get to where they're at. And that's a major cheat code in my life, Rich. I've always had mentors. I've always had muses I've always, always found people, even if they were younger than me, that were further ahead than me, that gave me this like frustration, but also excitement to try to catch them. And I think that was better than being around people that quote unquote held me down.

SPEAKER_00: 41:13

Yeah, man. Listen, if you think of this reset framework we're giving you guys as us building a house together, this clear your noise is like us telling you to remove the soil and start laying out the cinder blocks or the concrete slabs. Yeah, you had a shitty foundation. Yeah, yeah. This is the foundation. We're removing the soil and we're laying down a concrete slab. Man, but yeah, you're absolutely right, bro. Clear the noise. Fix the circle around you. Fix your feed. Fix the content you're consuming. And ultimately, that's going to fix your mindset going into week two, which I think is I'm up for week two. I would say start building motion, right? Newton's law, an object in motion stays in motion. So just like the house reference, now we're going to start to set up the, the wood framing of the house, right? We got the concrete slab down. Now we're going to start setting up all four corners, right? Wood or however the hell you build the house. But

SPEAKER_01: 42:17

I'm so, I'm so wealthy. I don't even build houses. I hire people to

SPEAKER_00: 42:23

do that. Nah, nah, but bros,

SPEAKER_01: 42:25

you're getting the materials you need in order to start building this home. But week one was about building foundation. Week zero is about being in the right mind state to even build foundation. But go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 42:39

Yes. And week two is just building motion. What does that look like? Get a skill, look into a hobby, maybe join the gym. But we probably won't tell you to go to the gym if you haven't gotten a job and don't have money to pay for a membership. But hey, listen, going to a job, going out for a run at the park, is free, right? So just start moving and start mobilizing yourself into a routine, right? Being in motion is going to distract you from all the things that you feel like have to be fixed and you're just going to naturally start to feel better about yourself. Okay, I'm building a routine. Okay, I'm taking this course that's going to give me a skill and that's a new skill I can add to my toolbox and this skill could potentially propel me to get a Or it's just something I can add on my resume to look more attractive. Getting a hobby, right? Going to play basketball like that. That's free. You can go to grab a basketball, go to the park and pick up a hobby. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 43:43

Yo, are you getting flashbacks? Cause I know I am.

SPEAKER_00: 43:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 43:46

When I was in this mode, it's like, bro, I don't have$50 to pop out to something. So I got to just play pickup basketball, get a dollar slice and just get through today until I get to that next page. Bro,

SPEAKER_00: 44:00

listen, I always say that being in your 30s is like being in your 20s, but with money, right? So like, we got money right now. So it's hard for us to remember how down bad we were in our 20s, where we didn't have two nickels to rub against each other. Like, I remember being 23 and having to ask my mom for like$20. And that was like one of the most shameful moments in my life. Because I'm like, man, that's a barber. Bro, 23 asking for$20. I'm like, nah, bro, something got to change. I either got to be better with money. I got to get another side hustle. I got to get another part-time job. But like asking for your mom for$20 at 23 years old is unacceptable.

SPEAKER_01: 44:40

Damn. Honestly, I think the reason why I love this episode, it was like, I've never felt like a poet or a writer. And so I looked at this subject and try to help this young man solve his problem. And I promise you, Rich, I couldn't stop typing because I know this character so well. This was you. Because I am him. And when you just said that, man, I got emotional in a good way when I thought about what you just said about asking your mom for money. I remember one of my uncles asking my mom for a lot of money and he was not in the best mood. I mean, I'm going to just say he was a fiend. He was in and out of recovery. He was a fiend. And he played my mom so crazy for like$500,$600. And I could tell how disappointed she was because it was her brother. And I remember vividly, bro, thinking to myself like, damn, I need$30 to get to work today. And I have no business asking this woman who's letting me stay with her, who just got finessed out of$500. And I don't know when I made this But I remember thinking at the time, like, man, no, this shit is crazy. I'm in my twenties. I don't have money. I'm about to ask my mom for money and she barely got money. I'm just a burden on my family. That's what I was saying before, bro. I'm a prideful motherfucker. Like if you want to see, I'm prideful and competitive, bro. Like if you want to see Justin at peak apex predator, just put me in a corner, bro. Put me in a corner and take all the money on my pocket. And I get in a different mode, bro. And I get kind of of excited when i get in that mode because i start that's why i said that pain man just get familiar with that pain don't run away from it look that motherfucker in the eyes give it a name you know i mean let that pain guide you because when you follow it it's going to lead you to a different person you don't even know who you are and i remember rich i promised myself bro i'm not going to be a burden to my mother i'm going to figure this shit out and i think till this day bro i'm 39 and i was probably like 23 22 when that happened i'd never asked my on for money, bro. Never, never, never. I could be down bad. I made that pact to myself. I'm not going to ask anybody in my family for money, but guess what? You said it earlier. There will come a point where I won't be giving out money either. Everybody's going to get one loan, but this shit's going to stop because if I was able to do it, y'all could do it too. And I think that interdependency is what you're talking about, Rich. But I like the Newton, an object in motion stays in motion. I like this as a week two framework. Stay in motion, get some motion. Motion, there's a lot of things under that category. It's funny you brought up the Newton, because I wrote in my notes, the hood Newton. I wrote the hood Newton. And it comes from, obviously, I work in music. So a lot of the lingo and the shit that I hear at work all day is from a lot of the younger staff. And they'd be like, ah, it's quiet for that artist. He ain't got no motion. Bro, we can't sign that dude. He got no motion. So I do the hood. I created something called the hood Newton. And I put it in my notes. And I always say it at work. I always say it to my artist managers and my artists. It's like, bro, how you got no motion and want to get motion? An object with no motion stays with no motion. And it's more of a play on the phrasing that's-

SPEAKER_00: 48:05

The Newton Law.

SPEAKER_01: 48:06

Yeah. It's all a play on the Newton Law, but it's also a phrase that I hear a lot, which is motion. You ain't got no motion, which means you don't have no women. You got no virality. You got no followers. You got no motion. So an object with no motion stays with no motion. And I think that's more relevant to the person that's listening to this because if you stay static, you're going to be static. So you have to get up and do something. And in order to tie a bow on this point that Rich brought up, there's a lot of shit you could do with$0 in your pocket. Surround yourself around some good people. Get outside. Get outdoors. Get some sun on your skin. Get sweaty. Run. Play basketball. You'll start seeing that those fucking toxins will start leaving your body and your mind will start spinning. I always found when I ran, Rich, it helped me clear my mind and it would help me think about more positive things. So I do pushups or play basketball. I don't know about you if that had the same effect on

SPEAKER_00: 48:57

you. Yeah, I just took my son to the gym for the first time. He's at the age where he can like...

SPEAKER_01: 49:02

Oh shit, why are we not talking about that? Why are we not? That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00: 49:06

Yeah, but like the whole drive there, I'm sort of letting him inside of my world and my brain and I'm like, listen, this drive that we're taking to the gym, this is where you start to visualize. Yeah, get in that mode. This is where you start to visualize like, if any upset you during the week, if you were angry about anything, if you had anxiety, if you had stress, this place where we're going to, we're going to release all that tension that's built up. But start to think about it now while we're driving over there. And I saw him nodding his head, like just kind of like consuming that mindset. It's funny because after the workout, he was like, man, I feel nauseous, but I feel good. And I'm like, perfect.

SPEAKER_01: 49:48

That's life, bro. That's life. Your sunset figured out life.

SPEAKER_00: 49:53

In one gym session.

SPEAKER_01: 49:54

Now think about it. What he's saying is, Dad, that was difficult, but it felt good. Yeah. We talked about this on an earlier episode. We don't know why strength training, being in the gym, developing your muscles, when you push yourself to the last rep and you try to get at least two more out, what is that called?

SPEAKER_00: 50:18

Yeah, it's like repping out. Failure.

SPEAKER_01: 50:20

You're training to Yep. You're

SPEAKER_00: 50:23

training to our

SPEAKER_01: 50:23

show. Why do you think they named it that? There was someone that said, oh, go to failure. They didn't say go to what feels comfortable, go to the moment where you can re-rack it and you can do 20 more. It was like, no, you have to push your body until it fails. Why that terminology? Whoever thought of that figured it out. If you want to grow muscle, you're going to have to push it to the point where it doesn't fucking work at all. anymore. So I love that you... Man, that's a beautiful moment, bro. We should just... I do want to pause on you taking your son to the gym for the first time. That makes me happy. Makes me happy. Makes me smile.

SPEAKER_00: 51:02

Yeah, yeah, man. And he's all about it. He's like, oh, what muscle parts are we doing tomorrow? And I gave him a whole breakdown. But I'm excited that this is something that we could do together now. And I could... He's 14. So I could introduce him to the gym so early on. And... bro, this is me breaking the mold. You know what I'm saying? I never had anybody at 14 years old tell me, hey, little Rich, come, let's go to the gym. I'm going to show you how to work out. I'm going to show you how to get into a positive mental headspace. I'm going to show you how to de-stress. I'm going to show you how to release your anxiety. And, bro, I wish I had that growing up. So, you know, fortunately, I'm in a position where I could be that for him. And, yeah, it's going great, bro. I love

SPEAKER_01: 51:48

it. All right. So we got the motion segment down. This is the part where I thought when I originally started scripting out this show and writing out some actionable advice, this is where I thought the show would start. But to your point, Rich, you got to lay foundation. You got to be planting on good soil. You got to get good materials to build this home that's going to be around forever. This is the part where I think we can have a little bit of fun with our guy. He's on week three, going on week four. His mind is right. He's fixing his friend group. He's clearing out his feed. all that advice we just gave. This is important to me. I wrote it down at the barbershop yesterday. Either buy a trimmer and a blade. This is probably more of like a hood thing, like more of an urban thing. Because a lot of white boys be killing it with just their hair looking crazy. But I feel like for us, nothing does justice for my inner potential, especially when I was broke. Like a good haircut, bro. Like a good lineup. Like a good shape. And my hairline's looking decent and my beard is looking decent. I feel like, what do they say? I feel like a good person. I feel like a productive member of society.

SPEAKER_00: 52:59

It's the confidence, bro, that comes when you look at yourself in the mirror after a lineup or a fresh cut and you are happy and you got a little grin on you and you got a smile at what you see. That confidence boost is everything you need to continue that motion, bro. Because that'll translate into... you being more social, you talking to women, you speaking eloquently during a job interview. Boy, there's something about that confidence, bro, when you get that cut. Ain't nobody could tell you nothing. Isn't it

SPEAKER_01: 53:36

crazy? I mean, there has to be something scientific about looking at yourself in the mirror after a haircut and being like, there he goes. That's my boy right there. That motherfucker better not run into anybody that's above a six because I'm snagged. in your home. That's what my mind be. After

SPEAKER_00: 53:54

I get a haircut, I'm dangerous, bro. Listen, that's universal. That doesn't matter what age you are, where you're from, what your ethnicity is. If you get a fresh cut and you look at yourself in the mirror and you get that confidence up, you're a dangerous man.

SPEAKER_01: 54:09

So at a baseline level, if we're giving out a four-week plan, we're up to week three. Hypothetically, they don't have lint in their pockets and a negative overdrawn Chase account. They got a little bit of money, not a lot, probably like a few hundred on them, enough to go and get a haircut at a barbershop. And even if you can't go and get a haircut, because listen, bro, price of haircuts is insane. We got to have that conversation another episode. This shit is getting out of control, bro. But I do want to say, even if you can't go and get a haircut, line yourself up. Learn how to cut your own hair. Even if you fuck up a few times, it's all good. You're in grind mode. You're saving 50 to$80 a haircut in your own pocket. Now, I wouldn't condone doing this forever, but I think it's essential for week three, week four, because you got to pop out. Let's say one of your friends that you shot a text to in week one that you're trying to hang out with guys that's doing a little bit better for themselves so you could get rid of your old friend group and get into your new friend group. They're going to be like, yeah, I got a little function going on in my crib. I'm going to have some friends over. You're more than welcome to pull up. You want to be able to line yourself up and pop out. and feel good about yourself. But Rich, I think you summarized it well. That confidence does translate. It goes beyond what you may believe about yourself negatively. Just having a good outward persona will help you speak to women and make friends and kind of get out of that little rut.

SPEAKER_00: 55:36

Yeah, bro. And listen, you have to get in the right mindset and the right confidence for you to go out and do a job interview, right? You're presenting yourself for the first time to an employer. And if you look all scruffy and your beard looks crazy you know and you look like a homeless person like chances are bro that they're gonna pick somebody else who maybe is a little bit more clean cut who's just as qualified right so you got to put your best foot forward and present yourself physically in a way that could be appealing to an employer especially if you're like customer facing or you know or whatnot

SPEAKER_01: 56:12

it's funny you said that because as a hiring manager and someone that's in a position that has a team I could almost tell I don't been fucked up so much in my life. I done been down bad so much. I can tell a motherfucker that's fucked up when I meet them.

SPEAKER_00: 56:25

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01: 56:27

Like, you can't put cologne and a button-up shirt on down bad.

SPEAKER_00: 56:31

For you, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 56:32

Yeah, no, down bad is down bad. I can feel it. Like, at the end of the interview, I'm like, yo, you want me to sell you a few hundred so you can get back home? Because you didn't get the job, but it looked like you needed it. I can tell. I can tell a motherfucker who's struggling. Yeah. That's because I know it. So, So you're saying that translates to so many other things.

SPEAKER_00: 56:53

Yeah, not so much like getting yourself in the right social circle and going out on a date, but even something as serious as landing a job. Because remember, all roads lead back to securing the bag. You have to get some money in your pocket. But week zero, you're fixing your mindset. Week one, you're clearing the noise. Week two, you're building momentum. Week three, you're starting to do things again a haircut, getting some clothes to build up your confidence so that week three, week four, you could land that job. I think all these things don't work without one another. You can't just go to week four and expect to have some success.

SPEAKER_01: 57:37

For sure. You made me think of something, which is way more practical, but I think it's perfect for this phase that we're in right now. I think you have to do an audit. What's a more normal word for audit? You have to evaluate, really look into where you spend your time, what you spend your time on, and where you spend your money, and what you spend your money on. There's an old Puerto Rican phrase, which I don't want to fuck up with my third grade Spanish, but the essence of it is where you put your time, your time will give you back. Where you put your money, your money will give you back. Where you put your love, your love will give you back, and where you put your energy, your energy will give you back. And I say that because this is a loop. I'm going to remove the love part because that shit is irrelevant right now because nobody loves you because you're down bad and you're not a productive member of society. Your mom barely loves you, but you owe her$300, so she's even questioning that shit. I think where you put your time, Rich, is so important. And I actually didn't learn this until my mid-30s. The return you can get back if you spend your time wisely is insane if you really think about it. And I'm happy I learned it in my late 30s because that shit was a cheat code for me. It stopped me from having bullshit ass conversation with people and trying to put plays together that were never going to come together or playing video games or watching too much sports or my fantasy football league or bullshit ass gossip group chats. Done. Once I started putting my time into shit that was getting me crazy return, I started figuring out like a glitch in the efficiency and maximizing productivity matrix. That might feel too highbrow, but I feel like a guy like that needs to hear this because he might be doing all 30 things we told him to do, but he feels like he doesn't have enough time in a day, especially if you got a bullshit part-time job just to make ends meet. That right there is about eight to 10 hours of your day commuting to work, being at work. You're not getting paid more than what you're getting paid per hour. So have a good idea of what you do with your time and have a better idea of what you do with your money.

SPEAKER_00: 59:48

Yeah. I love that and you know when i reflect back on you know week zero to week four i think you know rather than do like here's what you're doing week five or six or seven you should probably rinse and repeat the first four weeks and do that for the second half week four five and six because what you want to do is you want to build the routine and you want to start to build discipline if you could do something for consistently for eight weeks chances are that routine can turn into to a habit, whether that be going to the gym or picking up a hobby or landing that job and building the workday cadence that it needs. You know what I'm saying? It's a great point. So I think your advice is great, but I think that's more week 10. It's like now that you've done this routine for over eight weeks, now you got to do, I said this on an earlier episode, a self snapshot of yourself, figure out, all right, I feel like I've done everything right over the last eight weeks. What what am I missing? How can I improve? Where is my time going? Where's my money going?

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:55

I like to edit, I would say, just to remove what I said earlier, because you're right, that's probably further down the road. But what you should be asking yourself in week three is, why am I doing this? And how is this helping me get out of this fucked up situation I'm in? And I think that's good, Rich, because if you're just in a car with your boy talking shit for three hours, you have to ask yourself when you get home at 2 a.m., what was I just doing for the last three hours?

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:18

Or

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:19

if the homie want to pop out and just get food or something or go to QuickCheck or White Castle or Taco Bell. It's cool to do that, but just be mindful of all that time you put into these people and these things. It's not an indictment on them. I know they're going to tell you, bro, you changed. It's fine. It's fine. Relax. You're trying to get out of a fucking deficit. You're in a hole right now. You have no business doing anything other than what's relevant to you getting right. You're right. The audit, the a self-snapshot maybe a little further down the road, but I do want to challenge our listeners to really think about everything they're doing every day and evaluating it and asking themselves, how has this helped me get out of this hole? If it's not helping you get out of the hole, put you in a better mood, stop doing it because there's only 24 fucking hours in a day you could only do with so much. So yeah, good at it. I love that, but be mindful of where you put your time. Be mindful of where you're spending your money because you only have a limited quantity and that's what's got you fucked up Yeah. And

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:22

I feel like, man, by, by week four, if, if you're doing all the things that we're sharing here and you're definitely making that mental shift. And I think you spoke about this in an earlier episode where, um, sometimes this is hot when you're down bad, it's hard to see far out into the future or like how life is going to be in your thirties. But I promise you this by week zero through week four, if you do everything we're telling you to do or should be doing. all those micro wins are going to compound. And you're going to feel good about where you're headed. And you're going to start to really feel like, man, I'm starting to have some success. And success looks different for everyone, but success has no expiration. So you shouldn't ever put a time limit into how long it's going to take for you to achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:13

Rich, I know we're wrapping up the episode here, but there's something I have to say. Because just from reading all the community I got to make this point. If you're down bad, if you have a negative withdrawn bank account, or you got no funds in your pocket, your girl broke up with you, you're overweight, you're living with your mom, listen to me. You have no fucking business popping out, going on a vacation, or doing anything that your group of friends are doing that you have no financial or mental or time to give that shit because it's just going to put you in more of a loop. The more you do shit that you have no business doing, the more you get caught into a loop of wanting to keep up with it. Keeping up with the Joneses. Bro, this shit happened to me, Rich. My girlfriend in college was my girl when I was out of college. And she did very well for herself because she was really smart and got a great job out of college. Me, not so much. Didn't have a job out of college. Was struggling to get into the music business. I had to do the most fun fucking oddest jobs in the world just to keep myself afloat. And I remember this shit broke my brain because I had too much pride and it really set me back like six months. She told me one time after I had just lost my job, but I didn't tell her because I was too prideful to tell her, hey, I'm going to Europe with my coworkers. You're more than welcome to come, which not thinking about it at 39, I was fucked up. She knew what she was doing. But Wound up getting a little jealous about the idea of her going on vacation to Europe with three of her male coworkers and two of her girl coworkers, which seems like an even ratio. Do I look like a fucking idiot? But anyway, I didn't have no funds. I didn't have no pride at that time. And I just lost my job. So I really didn't speak up for myself, which I probably should have. So what I did was to cock block the whole situation. I took a loan from her to pay for all my stuff. And I told her I'd pay her Bro, I had no business doing that because I was in a thousand dollars of debt with the person that I love just so I could try to keep up with her when I really should have just stood home, worked on my resume, worked on one week through four that we just said here and got myself in a situation to get above water. And I really wanted to make that point clear, Rich, because you have no business going to concerts. You have no business smoking, drinking, popping out because that shit is not helping the cause. As far as smoking and drinking goes, Rich, you know that's something I haven't done most of my life. How does that serve as a negative to somebody that's in this situation?

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:58

Yeah, having vices when you got no money is probably not a good thing. And even when you do get money, I don't condone having vices. I had them in my 20s. Bro, it's hard to tell somebody in their 20s not to have vices. Everybody's drinking, everybody's smoking, everybody's vaping. Do what you want.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:17

Alcohol does something to you. I think it's a little darker. Weed does something to you that's a little bit, removes you. I can't speak to it exactly, but I do know it doesn't help. I'm just trying to, I'm asking you, what's the why behind why it doesn't help?

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:30

One, money. Obviously, you got no business spending money on this shit, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:35

Yeah, I mean, this is part of the clear the noise is you got to cut alcohol, you got to cut weed. These are natural depressants, right? And the last thing you need when you're trying to build motion and you're trying to head down a positive is things that are going to not make you feel good and make you numb the pain. You spoke about that on week one. You got to run towards this motherfucker. You got to run towards the pain if you're looking to make any substantial progress. You're suppressing this shit with weed and alcohol or cigarettes or whatever, and those things don't contribute to the solution. If it doesn't contribute to the solution, just try to get rid of it. Like I said, it's hard to tell somebody the 20s not to do vices when like everybody's wilding out doing something. For sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:25

Now we're going to wrap it up here, Rich. One last thing. We'll go back and forth on one last thing that we wanted to mention that we may have missed or we want to tee up for the part two of this episode, which is, okay, we got through week one all the way through week eight. And no, we're not fucking idiots. We just going to duplicate one through four for week five through eight. So that's the direction to you guys. It's like some Mr. B shit. Y'all got a bonus. There's a extra four weeks in the kit. So it's an eight-week plan. Just do week one through four two times over. And Rich and I are going to do a part two starting from week nine. And that would be more actionable advice that's more rooted in you have a good foundation. But one thing I wanted to mention, Rich, before we go, and I don't know if you have anything you want to add, which is I think accountability is important. And I don't know how you do that. Everybody has their own system. I have three in mind that have always worked for me just because, again, I'm a prideful fuck. And whenever I'm down bad, I like to feel that sting. You ever get like a toothache or a cut and every now and then you'll press it just to see what it feels like? I like that feeling.

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:34

Because it reminds me I'm not healed yet. Three things that I always do when I want to start something that I'm afraid to start and Failure's podcast is one of them and that's why I called Rich because I knew once I called him, I wasn't putting that genie back in the bottle because Rich, you know I adore you, bro. You're one of my closest friends and my business partner. But one thing I hate love about you is that if I tell you we're going to do something, you're not letting up. So in some weird way, I didn't come with you with the idea of failures until I was about eight months of research in. And I was like, okay, like sitting in front of my phone thinking to myself, if I call this motherfucker, I know I can't turn back because now I'm going to feel like an idiot. Because I know Rich, once he starts, he finishes. And I think that's number one of the three things I wanted to share in the accountability package. One is find someone that you're almost embarrassed to share your dreams with and your goals with because you know they're going to hold you to it because they love you and they want you to see it through. And they're going to make you feel like shit if you got to go see them and you fell apart again, if you fell off the wagon again. I know in NA, Narcotics Anonymous and Alcohol Anonymous, they call them sponsors. You need somebody that you can go to and they're going to hold you to your word. I think of like Tropic Thunder when Jack Black ties himself to the tree and he says, no matter what I tell you, I'm going to go through with drolls. Do not believe anything I say. And then he, if you've seen Tropic Thunder, it's funny because he relapses right in front of them. Number two, write it down somewhere. I think that's important. There's something I like, even now, if you're in my house or my office, I write everything down. There's something for me about writing it or typing it that makes it feel real. And those are just the two I wanted to share, Rich, in terms of comments.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:19

Yeah, no, I think that's great advice. When you write something down, it certainly makes it real. And going back to the accountability, I think you have to want to sort of like feel like you're receiving the accolades of your natural changes and your progression. Like I know for a long time when I was in my early 20s and I got a woman pregnant so early on, like I felt like a loser, bro. I'm like, damn, everyone in my family must think that I'm a loser. I'm a loser. I'm a bozo. Damn. Did you really feel that way? I did. I did. Because I'm like-

SPEAKER_01: 1:10:54

So what a redemption for you. What a redemption.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:57

Yeah. Where you stand right now. Exactly. And the 180 is like, okay, everything has changed. My physique, my skillset, my job, my financial situation. Now amongst my family and even my peers is like, oh no, that dude rich. Like, no, that guy is sharp or he figured it out

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:18

or- A few years of being dedicated changes the

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:21

narrative. By the end of this episode, we hope that you start moving forward in a positive direction and that that's not you next week.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:57

That's a fact. That's a fact. There's a lot that our community could really dive into on this episode. And I know they're going to challenge us to do a part two, but before we close out, anything you want to say?

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:06

Yeah, listen, don't let another week slide by. Start the reset today. Pick one action, whether that be delete her number, hit the gym, get a haircut. But I promise you all these things will start to make you feel like the dominoes are falling and you're starting to move in the right direction, go back, listen to this episode, use it as a guide, and man, please hit us up on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, leave a comment, troll us, talk shit.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:37

Yeah, we heard the feedback. We're going to get on YouTube. It's just YouTube is a different type of beast, so we want to make sure when we start uploading our videos, they're quality.

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:47

For sure.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:48

Failure's podcast Learn from our failures so you don't have to. Rich, this episode, man.

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:54

It's a good one. We're going to need a part two.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:56

Most invested I've been in a subject, so I think we're going to need a part two for sure.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:01

Let's do it.

UNKNOWN: 1:13:03

Let's do it.