SPEAKER_01: 0:03

Surround yourself with people that are gonna embrace your growth and not make you feel shameful for it. I think that's a big, big problem in the hood. When you level up and people are passive, aggressive, and they clip at you and they try to tease you for growing up. I think subconsciously, if your mind is not where it needs to be, you'll naturally start trying to lay low and do lower level shit just to tap back in. But when you're around people who can see your growth and they champion your growth, it makes you want to go further. Failures podcast. Today we're talking about survivor's guilt. There's a lot of ways you could phrase this thing, but it's survivor's guilt, hood guilt, blow-up guilt, however you want to describe it. Rich, why do life wins feel like betrayal to those you love after you accomplish something that you've probably been working for most of your life?

SPEAKER_00: 0:56

Man, survival's guilt. It's wanting to help everyone out, bro. It's it's you achieving uh a little bit of success and wanting to bring others around. I think about sort of being on that canoe by yourself. And, you know, you're you're treading water and you're progressing and you're looking around you, and there's family members in the water, and life fest just reaching out for you to help them up, and you're making a decision like, damn, if I help them up, I'm gonna tip over as well, and we're all gonna be drowning. So it's it's that weird place in your life where you feel like you're having success and you feel almost guilty for having success because you want to bring others along with you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:42

Yeah, I mean, we've all been there before, and this episode is for you. If you're a younger man who is probably been working really hard and tirelessly towards a goal, whatever that goal is, and you've accomplished that goal, or you've gotten closer to that goal. And something about where you were at a year ago and where you're going to be a year from that moment, there's something that you feel happy about, you feel satisfied. And Rich and I, I know we've felt this feeling before, but I don't know if it's exclusive to first generation kids or kids that grew up in lower income or the hood, but I've always felt this really like weird conflicting feeling about celebrating my wins. You want to go online, you want to post about it, but it just don't feel right. And I think that's what we're talking about here. Rich and I are in our late 30s, mid-30s, and I think we're slowly coming to the realization that the more you accomplish, the more that this feeling doesn't go away. So this episode is gonna help you understand why you feel this feeling. And then I think on the second half, Rich, we'll discuss how you can take this feeling and turn it into something that could be more helpful for people that come from where you come from, or even how to help out your family so the guilt can go away. But Rich, I wanted to ask you, is there a time in your life that you can date back to when you had felt that survivor's guilt and how it may even have affected your decision making?

SPEAKER_00: 3:12

Yeah, for sure. There's there's been a lot of moments I could think of. You know, I oftentimes hear my mom say, oh man, I wish I could own a house. And I know I own my own house. So it's it's that weird feeling of like, damn, I I wish I had enough, or I wish I was in a position to also help my mom purchase a home. There have been other times where I've traveled the world and I've uh gone through excursions and had all these like great, amazing experiences. And I I have a moment of reflection thinking to myself, like, damn, I wish my mom could experience this. I wish my brothers could experience this with me, and I wasn't just experiencing it alone. Or just even smaller things like just me splurging on non-essentials, knowing that I could potentially help my mom out with a phone bill or an electric bill, or help my brother out with something. So it's it's something that hasn't fully ever gone away. It's something that I kind of battle with often. And I don't know if this feeling survival's guilt ever goes away, but there's certainly some coping tips that we can share that that'll help you feel less guilty and sort of more empathetic and more from a place of gratitude rather than guilt.

SPEAKER_01: 4:25

Yeah, I mean, the one about your mother, that's deep, man. Because how I mean, how much closer to the source can you get from the place you truly came from? Literally, you came from your mother. So that that disconnect, that must be a strange feeling. Uh uh, like, how did you get through it or are you still going through it?

SPEAKER_00: 4:43

Yeah, I mean, I'm still going through it. I I think that I have it in the back of my mind that if I ever reach a level of success in abundance and I could go back and be like, here, mom, here's the keys to your brand new house.

SPEAKER_01: 4:56

Awesome, like, yeah, we're we're there, but we're not there yet.

SPEAKER_00: 5:00

Yeah, and it's this interesting thing where they probably think that we are there. And we're definitely gonna unpack that where sometimes you reach a certain level of success, and family members think that you probably got more than what you think you have just because of what they see online or what they see inside of your apartment or your house or the car that you drive or the job that you have or how much income you're bringing in. They they create these own narratives of like how much they think that you actually make. But I'm nowhere near being able to buy my mom a house, but I'm hopeful that one day I will be able to do that for her.

SPEAKER_01: 5:33

You know, that made me think of um a really weird time in my life where I turned our radio show situation into an opportunity for me to get into college. We discussed this on a few later episodes. Rich and I started off from very rocky positioning. Not only was our life situation fucked up, but we also, I mean, I don't know what's the best way to say it. You can listen to our risk versus reward episode. Rich and I really unpacked how we were operating at a at a deficit when we were teenagers. So when we finally started figuring life out and started catching some momentum, it felt weird because we were, we spent so much time, or for literally from date of birth all the way to our 20s in Hudson County, the New York, New Jersey area. And you spend all that time with your parents. You spend all that time with your immediate family, your immediate friends, your high school friends. And then you kind of flip a switch and you start letting your curiosity guide you, your natural talent guide you, and this compound of like all these things you've learned start putting you in different rooms, different places, different spaces, and you're around new people. And I remember that feeling when I first got into community college and eventually college. I could feel myself drifting away from my childhood friends. And I could feel a lot of the stuff that was important to me that I like talking about at that specific pivot moment in my life. I would feel guilty talking to my family and my back home friends about it. And I don't, I never really knew how to describe that. I don't know if you've experienced that, Rich, but in my research, I was looking at this article on the Wall Street Journal and uh this other platform that's pretty credible for research called Science Direct. And I pulled a stat up that said 83% of people that come from lower income families or first generation families who outgrow their family circumstances carry in silence this anxiety and this fear, and they're afraid that success makes them a sellout, and success would make them detached from their family. That means eight out of every 10 young men that come from these places experience this feeling that we're talking about today. That's damn near 100%. That's that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00: 7:50

Yeah, that's crazy. And I think for for us, it it's sort of the the realization of wanting more. It's like when you finally wake up, you're conflicted, right?

SPEAKER_01: 8:01

Like you want more, but you know where you come from.

SPEAKER_00: 8:03

You want more, you know where you come from. And I think knowing where you come from makes you want more. Because once you see what's on the other side of the river, so to speak, like we grew up in West New York, New Jersey. We knew that across that river was the richest city on earth, New York City.

SPEAKER_01: 8:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 8:22

We knew there was endless opportunities over there. So we took every chance to hop on a two, three dollar bus and go there, even if it was just to walk around and see the beautiful, bright lights of New York City and just feel that big apple energy. And we might be able to credit our ambition to living so close to New York City. But I think that I think that's where it comes from. It's the ability to, it's the self-realization that wanting more is appealing, right? That there's more on the other side of the river. There's there's more to life than just this small town that I grew up in.

SPEAKER_01: 8:57

Rich, I did want to ask you a question before we get into um, you know, the A-block, the middle portion of the show, and then eventually we will get into actionable advice. But one thing that I couldn't stop thinking about when I was doing pre-show prep was why is it that growing and achieving your goals feels like you're abandoning everything that you stand for or everyone that loves you? What is it about that feeling of reaching that next milestone that makes us feel conflicted? I I still can't figure it out. It's almost like you survived a plane crash or you won the lottery, and even though you got what it is that you wanted, which is either money or another opportunity at life, you can't truly celebrate it because you do feel like you abandon people. You do feel like if you spoke about it too much, you might be rubbing it in. It's it's something bittersweet about that whole experience.

SPEAKER_00: 9:57

Yeah, that's very interesting. It's sort of like breaking up with someone that you still love, right? And then why does why do you feel like it's a breakup? Because, you know, you're naturally going through two different paths in life. Uh, one of ambition, the other path is sort of like status quo, so to speak. And and on the path of achieving something and to greatness, you create more distance with the people from back home. And that could create resentment, that could create a disconnect with that original bond that you had with like family or friends. And oftentimes it's the disconnect of them not understanding your mission. It's like, damn, this dude is so far out of reach. He moved across country to Los Angeles, California to pursue a dream. I could never do that. I don't understand his dreams, but I salute him from a distance. So it's that disparity of understanding that someone is going out of the way to achieve greatness while I'm still sort of stuck in this day-to-day nine-to-five um mundane life that I feel like I'm in.

SPEAKER_01: 11:01

Yeah, I mean you say achieve greatness, and I think our friendship and the extension of our friendship and our business partnership is case in point for this entire episode, right? We found not only a friend, but like a common brain in one another. And there was something about me and you sitting in a car going to Midtown Manhattan to interview J. Cole or Nipsey Hustle, or at that time in our lives, in our late teens, early 20s, there was something that we we found in each other that was similar. And maybe we didn't necessarily find that in the kids we went to middle school with and high school with. So that you changed, it hits different when you're around people that are changing with you. Because you had mentioned this in the pre-show, and I want you to unpack it. You said Justin, but that's more like you grown. Why would you put all this work in and not expect to grow? So talk about that a little bit, because we came up together. And I think I was a part of that pivot in your life, and you were for me as well.

SPEAKER_00: 12:08

Yeah, that there's a disparity between people saying you've changed, but you feeling like you've grown. And it's just, it's just like, bro, do you expect me to stay where I'm at with you and just stay in the hood and not move out?

SPEAKER_01: 12:23

Especially where we came from. Like, I could imagine if you you lived in a cul-de-sac, you had two parents at home, joint income. You mentioned this on the risk versus reward episode we did. I think it's episode four. Having all that support is beautiful, but we didn't necessarily have that. So why would we want to still be like everybody that we came from? Knowing this most important part, knowing where we came from wasn't the best place.

SPEAKER_00: 12:51

Yeah, bro, that is such a mentality shift. How many times have you seen? I mean, you work in the entertainment industry, how many times have you heard the narrative? Oh, this dude left the hood and he's changed, right? 100%, bro. Like Nipsey was literally 10 toes down and created a store in his own neighborhood to show that he was still, you know, around.

SPEAKER_01: 13:13

And where did he get killed?

SPEAKER_00: 13:15

In his own hood. Well, was he expected not to grow? You know what I'm saying? Like that, that's that's a very unique situation. But I think there's a lot of truth there though, Rich. There's a lot of truth there. Yeah, that happens more often than not, where like people from back home will see someone reach success and be like, oh, he's a sellout. Oh, he he's never coming back to the hood, or or what has he done for us lately? And it's crazy because when you were coming up and you weren't a nobody, you had all the support of the hood. But once you moved out and you sort of like created that distance with everyone, now you're looked at as a sellout. And it's just a weird mentality shift that that happens where people in the hood feel like you're just supposed to stay with them, even if they're struggling. It's like, bro, if we're drowning, you have to drown with us. Like it's just a weird mental shift.

SPEAKER_01: 14:04

Do you think most people know they're drowning? It's really hard to think back to when we were 18 to 24. But I I can be honest, I always had the feeling, even though I didn't have much knowledge outside of the neighborhood we grew up in and a very hood-ass family that I came from. I've always had the knowledge just from watching like TV shows or social media that there was a lot more going on outside and we didn't have access to it. And I think that was always my goal that I just wanted to see more and do more and give myself a shot. I wanted an opportunity to not live in the pain and in the yeah, the day-to-day bullshit that you that you kind of grow up in when you come from these places. And to say you changed to me at some point turned into a compliment. Where I was like, shit, I mean, I've read all these books, I've um watched all these documentaries, I've dedicated myself to my passion and my curiosity, which was music and developing a media company and a radio show. It's almost a compliment for somebody to say you changed, even though you're right, what they want to say is you've grown. But it felt like a compliment, but I didn't necessarily always see it that way, you know? And it didn't take until maybe four or five years that I had already left to New Brunswick and I was at Rutgers, and then eventually I moved to Midtown Manhattan and I was there for a few years. It didn't hit me until I could see the the gap in lifestyle and my mental approach to a lot of old problems. OG Justin would approach hood problems in a very hood way, and it got down to very simple things like delayed gratification or how I went about going to bed earlier so I could wake up earlier and get a fresh start on my day. Actually, I do remember my second year in Rutgers inviting all the homies from back home to a party at the college campus with a lot of my new college friends. And bro, my boys were wilding. Like they were wilding. Like, but I could see the difference between my newer friends and these more responsible because they had something to lose. I think that's another important point. These guys had something to lose versus the homies from back home that were just coming to mob out and and like fuck up the couches, fuck up the furniture, drinking liquor, stealing shit from people's rooms, and me having a little huddle with my boys being like, yo, what the fuck are y'all doing? And then being like, bro, look at this guy. This guy swears he's fucking white. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, bro, y'all are on some other shit, but they weren't on some other shit. That's just pre-programming. That's just who they were.

SPEAKER_00: 16:48

Yeah, I love that story. I was just about to say that I think that this distance and disparity starts when you go off to college, right? Because that's the first place where you're laying down the foundation of what your future life is going to be like. Your future career, your trajectory, uh, your interests are starting to become more crafted and you're becoming more intentional about the type of person you want to become. And yeah, there is a big difference when you go off to college and you're in a university, and the amount of access you have to different hobbies, different people, you know, even the parties, like you suggested, even the parties are different, right? Like a party in the hood and a college party are two completely different parties.

SPEAKER_01: 17:31

Nah, listen, the drugs are different. The, the, the, the extreme situations, if shit pops off in a hood party, it can really go down. Like, like lives could be at risk at a party back home. Bro, how often do we get reports from back home that dumb shit still be happening?

SPEAKER_00: 17:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 17:52

Versus kids that got a lot to lose. And that's uh this is weird. This is where I can see people from Hudson County being like, who the fuck does Rich and Justin think they are? That they can make uh a show topic like this, that they believe that there's this huge gap between who they are and who they were. I'm still conflicted, man. This is a this is really a tough subject to like not seem like you're banging your chest and and being arrogant about who you are currently. But I do think there is a mind state that does change once you start putting yourself around different people. And I do think that is good advice for our younger viewers and listeners, that you are what you surround yourself with. And if you continue to surround yourself with a certain energy and a certain mind state that is from where you come from, there's nothing wrong with that. But if you yearn for more, if you want more, if you desire more, if you're curious about what's going on outside of your local neighborhood, you're not limited to where you were born. People are just born in certain places. You don't have to stay there forever. Who the fuck said you have to stay in the hood? I don't understand that. There's a Jay-Z line, I forget it, Richard. The summary of the line is like if you don't own anything on the block you come from, that block ain't yours. This language about this is where we're from, this is our block. It's like, no the fuck it ain't. You don't own any real estate on that block. That just so happens to be where you were born from. And that that was always confusing to me, and I didn't realize that until I got older.

SPEAKER_00: 19:25

Yeah, I don't think that this is limited to geographical location. I think I know we're conflicted on this, but I think simply put, if you take someone's 10-year resume of what they've done from year one to year 10, how many things have changed within that decade? That that's what we're questioning, right? For you and I, if there's 50 data points that have changed from year one through year 10. It's on the graph, it's like constant progression, right? You look at some of the folks back home, and it's been like up, down, up, down, straight, up, down, straight. And this is that chart is just like, bro, you haven't outgrown yourself. You haven't matured, you haven't improved from year one through year 10. Naturally, we're on two different frequencies, right? So that's sort of the separation that I think that happens. And I say that it's not a geographical location thing because my girl just told me that, hey, do you remember that janitor that we used to have in high school? And, you know, I remembered his name. I was like, Yeah, I remember he was cool. She's like, Yeah, he's the vice principal of my school now. I'm like, damn, that's dope. In my mind, I'm like, bro, I don't know what this guy did to go from sweeping the hallways of a high school to becoming a vice principal of an elementary school. But bro, salute to you. You didn't leave the environment, but in your own way, you had a glow-up, right? You went to school, you got the college credits needed to become an elementary school admin. Like you did that shit. And kudos to you. So that's just one example of like why it's not a geographical location. You could still stay in the hood, but bro, do better. Or at least want to do better.

SPEAKER_01: 21:16

Aspire for more and and have something to look forward to, have something that's pulling you in a direction. But that's a whole other episode. Rich, I want to go through a few common phrases that I was remembering that we probably heard most of our lives, and the person listening to this episode right now probably is hearing now. Let me know if any of these phrases trigger you or anything comes to mind. Cool. Yo, look at this dude. He's acting brand new. Yo, don't forget where you came from. Yo, make sure you remember me. Don't forget about the little people. This is my favorite right here. Usually hear this at a cookout or a family function. Yo, man, how you been, bro? Nah, I'm just trying to get like you, big dog. Oh man. Let me know if you've heard any of those in your life and what comes to mind.

SPEAKER_00: 22:09

Yeah, I'll throw another one in there. Damn, this guy's Hollywood now. That's a big one. It's Hollywood. Especially you, especially you that you you moved to California is like Hollywood Justice. Literally, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 22:21

Literally. Now I only do my Instagram post with the Hollywood hashtag.

SPEAKER_00: 22:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 22:25

Because I'm out here.

SPEAKER_00: 22:26

Yeah, I I think those comments, um, I hear them all the time, especially from my own family and friends.

SPEAKER_01: 22:32

Oh, you do?

SPEAKER_00: 22:33

Yeah. For real? For sure. Now, yeah, and I think it's a it's a playful way to just them acknowledging that you're doing well. I don't think that there's any malice by by the comments, at least from my friends. And I think it's just a a way of making light of like them saying, Yo, I see you, right? Like you're you're chasing your dreams.

SPEAKER_01: 22:54

You're see you did that you did the thing where you turned it into a compliment. That's actionable advice. You do it by mistake, but that's really uh something you could you flipped in your brain a long time ago. You're like, yo, they're gonna throw arrows, but I'm always gonna take it gracefully.

SPEAKER_00: 23:06

You have to. You have to.

SPEAKER_01: 23:08

That's a mind state. You decided, like, you know what, I'm no longer insulted by that.

SPEAKER_00: 23:11

Yeah, that's a the great observation.

SPEAKER_01: 23:14

I could be completely wrong, right? They there could be some like No, I don't want to take that from you, but I do recognize that that's something, it's almost like an armor you have to put in your brain.

SPEAKER_00: 23:23

Yeah, man. You you can't take those comments in in a negative way. It's more of an acknowledgement that they see you, they see you doing well, they see you progressing. And it's sort of like a salute, almost like a back-handed compliment, right? It's like, hey, man, you Hollywood now. You're a little, you're moving a little different. But, you know, like like we said earlier, man, I appreciate those comments because it's acknowledging that they see my growth, they see my progression. I'm still not that kid from the hood that they remember. And I want them to know that. I want them to know that, yo, I'm not that dude that we that we grew up in, right? Like, I'm in the gym now. I'm a little bulkier. You're standing on it. You're standing on it. Yeah, I'm a little bulkier now. Like, you can't, you probably can't test me like like people back home used to try to do. You gotta remind people, man, you're not the same person anymore.

SPEAKER_01: 24:14

So, to be clear, from from 18 years old all the way to 37, Rich and myself have been going through this throughout our lives. And we don't think it's gonna change as long as you stay connected to the people you come from. So that should be rule number one for the first part of the show is just understand that the feeling is always gonna be bittersweet. You're always gonna feel conflicted. And whoever tells you that that feeling is gonna go away is a fucking liar. Because the more you level up, the more you can look at your bank account and see numbers that if you have a conversation with someone that's not necessarily in that part of their life or that phase of their life, you are gonna enter conversations that are gonna feel weird to you. I remember one of the presidents, I don't know remember if it was Obama or Trump, but these motherfuckers have been rich so long that I remember someone talking about inflation. I forgot what president it was. They were talking about inflation and they had mentioned like groceries. Like, hey, do you realize how expensive bread and eggs are? And the president had said something like, Yeah, I mean, I could imagine eggs could be anywhere between$20 to$25. You know, the prices are going up. And this person was obviously so off on what groceries cost because they have been detached from that number for so long. So it is a weird feeling when you start having conversations, even with people that are younger than you, that you start talking about your problems and then they start telling you their problems, and you're like, oh shit, damn. And I think instantly I become grateful. That is one thing that I've become really good at with this feeling of conflict that I have from Hood Survivor's Guilt, is that I instantly become grateful. I have gratification about where I'm at currently, and it's real to me that this shit could be taken away at any given moment. And I know what that bottom feels like. I know we're hitting that pavement, dirt on your face, and being so fucked up that your bank account is overdrafted and you don't have enough for rent or mortgage next month, I know that feeling. That feeling is too familiar. And to be honest, while I'm saying it, that feeling is what gives me drive and like makes me crazy to continue to be successful because I don't ever want to feel that feeling again. And I don't ever want to feel like that anymore. So whenever I do get into a conversation that I do get that feeling of survivor's guilt, I instantly go to gratitude and I instantly go to sharing advice and I instantly go into this mode where I want to help this person in this one-to-one conversation. But don't get it fucked up. This doesn't mean that you have to try to save everybody. This doesn't mean you have to spend all your day online or your mother's on the phone with somebody from Puerto Rico and they're like, oh, they want to, they want advice on you don't gotta fucking walk around giving dollar bills to everybody to make sure everybody's good. It's just having that gratification and understanding of where you came from and where you're at. Funny story, Rich. This is a quick story. I flew my brother out, uh, his family uh, you know, to LA. First time I was out here, I was living in West Hollywood, and um, my brother stood over my place. He's drinking, he's chilling. Uh, if you know my brother, he's hilarious. This is a great moment, but it was a very clear moment of how far I've come and how my brother saw my trajectory from being his little brother to where I was at currently. I believe it was Grammy weekend, so I was I was like getting ready for the Grammys and I was talking to my brother about it. And he he's always been very helpful to me and making me feel good about where I'm at in my life and not necessarily shrinking myself to make other people feel better. So everybody's at the house drinking, chilling, you know, talking shit. As the night is going on, 2 a.m., 3 a.m., 4 a.m., everybody's going to sleep. I eventually was just me and my brother and his lady, like late. And I'm like, yo, I'm going to bed, you know, just them two up. But y'all can stay up as long as you want. So they're in the balcony of my uh apartment that I was living in. I wake up like at 4 a.m. and my brother's still up by himself. He's just like leaning over the balcony, looking at the fucking the moon. So I'm like, yo, you good, bro? And I like startled him. And he had like a little, a little tear in his eye, you know? I'm like, bro, you good? He's like, yo, fuck, man. Nah, bro. I'm just just thinking about, I'm just thinking about how far we came, bro. Thinking about how far we came, and like, I can't believe I'm in LA right now, bro. Like, I'm with my little brother in LA in his crib. And he was like, yo, just, it just hit me. You know when a motherfucker tells you you act in Hollywood? You know what that means? I'm like, yeah, of course I know what that means. He's like, that means you acting different. You act in Hollywood. But a motherfucker can't tell my little brother he's acting Hollywood. You wanna know why? Because we in Hollywood right now. If you're from Hollywood, you can't be Hollywood. You feel me? Because you are it. So I never really thought about when somebody says you act in Hollywood. Bro, you at the point, you are the thing that people say you acting like. So you are that. You can't act like that. And that shit got me emotional because I'm thinking about it. Motherfucker can't tell me I'm acting Hollywood, bitch. I'm here right now. And that was a real moment with my brother, bro. And you made me think about it when you said the phrase act of Hollywood. My brother did have that realization, because to me, he is a good measurement of where I came from, where I'm at currently. And I think this is great advice, Rich, and we should get into this. Surround yourself with people that are gonna embrace your growth and not make you feel shameful for it. I think that's a big, big problem in the hood. When you when you level up and people are passive, aggressive, and they clip at you and they try to tease you for growing up. I think subconsciously, if your mind is not where it needs to be, you'll naturally start trying to lay low and do lower level shit just to tap back in. But when you're around people who Who can see your growth and they champion your growth? It makes you want to go further.

SPEAKER_00: 30:04

That's huge. Um, we call that stop explaining your elevation. I feel like oftentimes you have to tell your parents or your friend what you're working on. And you're almost like over-explaining your dreams. And how many times have you had a relative or a friend tell you, man, why do you work so hard? Or why do you do the things we you do? Like you never have time for anything else. Like you must be miserable. And it's just like, it's just them not understanding that, like, bro, I'm on a mission. I'm chasing my goals, I'm chasing my dreams. Yet, from the outside looking in, this appears hard to you, but this is what I love doing. And this is the pursuit I'm on. This is the path that I'm following. And that's actionable advice, man. It's just stop explaining your elevation. If you're growing, if you're maturing, if you're improving, um, don't feel the need to have to explain to people why you're doing the things you're doing. Just continue moving forward.

SPEAKER_01: 30:58

Yeah, I mean, this is such a sweet spot for me, and I'm trying to stay on topic for our core demo and young men. But yeah, I honestly, Rich, if I really wanted to mash out and be 1,000% honest about this whole episode, I think this episode could have been three minutes top. I would have came in and been like, Survivor's guilt. If you feel strongly and passionately about what it is that you spend most of your day doing, fuck everybody else who doesn't see it the way you see it. Because you know what, bro? You really only have maybe 4,000 weeks on this planet. If you live to like 72, 75, which I believe is the rate what most people live to. Think about that. You only have about 4,000 weeks on this fucking planet we call Earth, alive and well. Probably 30 alive and well, where you're healthy, you're vibrant, you're not conflicted. Man, if you find something that speaks to your little heart and motivates you and piques your curiosity, bro, run 700 miles per hour in that direction and don't ask nobody shit about what they think about what you're doing. As long as you're doing it as a peaceful member of society, you're not doing anything illegal, you're being productive, and you're doing it with love, bro. You actually have love for the thing you're doing and you're not harming nobody. Don't let nobody else get in the way of that, bro. So I you struck a nerve with this fucking, oh, I have to explain why I'm doing what I'm doing. I think I spent most of my early 20s literally explaining why I was doing what I was doing to everybody. And you know what's crazy about going into the jungle chasing your dreams? A motherfucker is never gonna respect your time in that jungle or understand your time in that jungle until you come back with a fucking lion's head and a bear chinchilla. And you come out of that bitch with blood all over your face, like, hey, this is what I was in there trying to do. And then they'll start understanding it. That's the tricky part, is that you have to come back with a trophy in order for people to understand what the fuck it is that you're doing. And that's sad, but it's just the truth. And I want to get more practical and actionable with my advice, but sorry, I had a real honest moment right there because I hate explaining myself when I'm doing something I love.

SPEAKER_00: 33:21

Yeah, no, we're we're gonna get into practical advice. And I love that story you shared. And honestly, the what that made me think of was when you do come back with that trophy and you're like, look, this is what I've been working so hard for, or you know, show them money or whatever it is that you went out to go get. Now it's it's the handouts. It's the damn, that's good. That's what you were doing.

SPEAKER_01: 33:46

I was trying not to cut you off. I was about to say it. A motherfucker's gonna tell you, Rich, you have a beautiful home. I don't want to speak too much on it. I don't know, I'm sure you don't want people to know where you live, but a motherfucker, the first thing they tell you is like, yo, give me an apartment. Yo, put me on. Yo, let me hold some money so I can get a house like you. It's like, why don't you ask for the roadmap in the 10 years it took me to get this home? You know better than I do. I'm sorry to jump in, but that that when you did that, I felt like you were an alien. You were one of the youngest guys I knew that had a house.

SPEAKER_00: 34:17

Yeah, it's the yo, I see all the fish you caught. Let me guess some, versus, bro, I could teach you how to fish so you can catch your own fish. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Or or the other analogy, like you you could lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I feel like this this gets tricky, right? I remember Jay-Z had a line in an interview where he said that a cousin asked him for a$10,000 loan, something to that effect. I'm paraphrasing. And he's like, nah, bro. And he was like, yo, but Jay, like you're a billionaire. Like, you got it. He's like, that's not how this works. If you go to the bank and ask for$10,000, they're gonna want to see a business plan. They're gonna want to see a rate of return, they're gonna want to see all the details as to why you need this$10,000. So it's this weird dichotomy where people feel like, yo, just because you got it now, or it appears that you got it and you've reached a certain level of success, that you have to go back home to your family, friends, hood, and give back. Listen, I want to be clear. I'm not opposed to not giving back. I think you should give back if you're in the position to do so. What I don't like is the need for people to feel like I'm obligated to give back because I've reached a certain level of success and I came from where you came from. That's a weird one.

SPEAKER_01: 35:40

Rich, I'm so happy you brought up Jay-Z again because I just remembered the song that summarizes this whole episode. And I knew for a fact that I was out of touch with the back home first generation hood mentality when I was the only person that loved the Magna Carta Holy Grail album. It was Jay-Z's most out-of-touch album ever. He was talking about yachts, uh, he was talking about warholes, paintings, owning his masters. At that time, he had made a pivot musically that was probably more of a compliment of who he was in real life because he became not an artist, but this entity that was accruing assets on assets and buying businesses and developing partnerships. And I could feel my life moving in that direction. And when that album came out, everybody from back home hated it. But I personally loved it because I was relating to him as some sort of North Star that maybe I could be where Jay-Z's at in 20 years. And I think that's a great moment because we're music guys. And when the artists start making music that's a little too out of touch for reality, maybe they should stop making music and just work on their portfolio because they're already there. But there is something about making music that's relatable that is a similarity to what we're talking about. You want to speak and move in a way that's relatable, just so you can feel like you're connected to the hood. But Magna Carta Holy Grail was Jay-Z being like, nah, I'm good. This is where I'm at in my life. And there's a song that I absolutely love and I loved when it came out, and you made me think about it. Nickels and Dimes. I have the line in front of me here. I'll do my best, Jay-Z impersonation. I got a problem with handouts. I took the man route. I'll give an opportunity though. That's the plan now. I got no guilt in giving, clear conscious out, but I got no guilt in receiving everything within reason. But you can't take food out of my little monster's mouth. That'll drive me gaga. That line right there hit me at that time in my life because a lot of my friends and family were asking me for money or for opportunities in the places that I was in. And I just was always conflicted because one, I don't control where I work at and I can't give you a job. And two, I didn't have enough money to share money with everybody, but I had enough money to flex on social media. And that, what you said earlier, is right in line with what Jay-Z says in nickels and dimes. I got a problem with the handouts. I took the man route. I don't give no more. I just give opportunities now. So rather than giving somebody something, you could give them an opportunity. Rather than walking the path for them, you show them the trail. Rather than giving them fish, you're showing them how to fish. I know those are cliche, but cliches are cliches for a reason. They're crucial, bro. They're very crucial. So basically what you said, just one of the greatest living prophets of all time, Jay-Z said it as well.

SPEAKER_00: 38:40

Yeah, I love that. And this is the nuance of this conversation, bro. It's like survival's guilt, the hidden fine print. It's just like you want to reach the highest levels of success you possibly can, but that does come at a cost, right? There is the cost of feeling guilt that you can't bring friends or family members or people who you care about along for the ride. There's guilt that you carry about not being able to give them the same level of success that you're achieving. There's guilt about not being able to give them money, you know, myself, not being able to buy my mom a house, you know, at this very moment. That guilt also comes from people from the hood, making you feel like, damn, you changed. You're Hollywood, you're, you know, this guy's out of here. And you feel like you're no longer connected to the roots of where you came from. These are all strong pain points, man. And I feel like I still struggle with these things to this day.

SPEAKER_01: 39:41

I'm gonna pivot away from where you're at once you succeed, and you're looking back to where you came from and feeling guilt when you should feel proud of yourself. I'm gonna add another layer to it, and we should discuss this a little bit more, Rich. This is sourced from a study in class mobility psychology. This is one of the articles that I read on the Wall Street Journal. So it this is a real source. 83% of high achievers from low-income backgrounds describe feeling imposter syndrome mixed with trader syndrome, meaning the success feels both fraudulent and disloyal at the same time. So we've been talking about the Survivor's Guild portion, but there is also this like imposter syndrome when you're in a new group of people where you kind of have that energy that you had when you were younger, that worldview when you were younger, but you don't feel like you belong. I don't think many people ever talk about that because not many people can talk about it.

SPEAKER_00: 40:42

I still feel that to this day, when I know I shouldn't, right? I think it comes from the fact that I don't know anybody who I grew up with back home that is in the field that I'm in. Anyone, right? And to me, when you achieve something that no one else has achieved in your immediate circle, you're obviously an anomaly. And when you go out into the corporate world and you're having meetings with senior management and you're speaking to the CEO and VPs and all these people who come from like very prestigious colleges and universities and come from a different level of wealth, and then you think about yourself, you oftentimes have that realization of like, I'm not supposed to be here. Like, how am I on a Zoom call with a billionaire right across the screen from me? Like, this is crazy, you know? But it's that doubt and that imposter syndrome lives within yourself. Because the reality is the way the world views you, your exterior, it's like, bro, you were hand selected. If you're in a high performing job function, if you have like a VP or above title, um, or if that's what you aspire to, like you're there for a reason. You've been chosen, right? Like you clearly have the skill set to be high up there, and the world views you different than what you view yourself.

SPEAKER_01: 42:08

Um, push a T line. The the company I keep is not corporate enough. Trapper term rapper. I'm slowly morphing into puff. That right there is my journey from birth to 39 years old. I'm not hood enough to hang out with my pops and my brother and his day one friends and my stepfather, but I'm also not corporate enough to do a corporate retreat with the Patagonia vests in the beaches of um foreign islands. I know when I'm out of my depth and this weird place that I'm in constantly, and I think most of our viewers may feel like they're in, is this purgatory of, well, I don't necessarily feel like the people from back home anymore, but I definitely don't feel like these people because these motherfuckers are a whole different category of human. And that's that weird balance, that weird line of not being corporate enough to be corporate, but not being hood enough to be truly hood and back in the hood. That's a weird juxtaposition to be in.

SPEAKER_00: 43:18

Yeah, and and for some of our younger audience members that are sort of listening to us talk about what it's like when you're achieving the top of the hill. We're just trying to let you know that as you take this trail and you're reaching the top of the hill, you're naturally going to feel all these different emotions. You're going to feel imposter syndrome, you're going to feel survival's guilt, you're going to feel like you owe people things from back home. These are all like things that you will feel on your way to success. And I think that, you know, there's some actionable items that I feel like we could share because it's not all bad. Like I feel like we give context as to the pain point of what you might feel on your path to success, but we should also share what are some of the tips and actionable advice that that we've been able to leverage that have helped us overcome some of these.

SPEAKER_01: 44:10

Yeah, it it's actionable advice, and it's also how do you help your younger self? How do you get the clarity once you've committed to excellence and you're like, you know what? Despite how I feel, how conflicted I feel about achieving more success, and don't get it fucked up. It's not just about money. For sure. Extra success is about lifestyle, a presence of mind, your health, how you manage your funds, what you choose to do and not to do when you come back home to visit your family. It's all a state of mind. The money is a compliment, and it's something that comes from switching your state of mind. But there is something that Rich and I learned in our mid-30s going into our early 40s. And what is the product of what we learned is this entire platform that we're creating. So we will get into actionable advice and we will get into how do you cope with this feeling, and how do you serve younger Rich? How do you serve younger Justin that came from the same place you came from? That's what failure's brand is all about. We are quite literally looking back at the last 20 years of our lives, and with a very fine-toothed comb, we're looking at years and moments and going through Reddit forum boards and YouTube and finding moments that we can relate to and say, damn, I remember when I felt that way. I remember when I was 22 and that wasn't clear to me. That shit is crystal clear to me now. We should make an episode about that. So there is this charity and there is this giving back and paying it forward that kind of heals that feeling of conflict. And now that I'm getting into my 40s, I could see that clearer than ever, Rich. I feel less conflicted and I feel more inspired to give back and give back more roadmaps and more advice and share in a way that I never felt before because it makes me feel the best about that conflict that I have, about maybe achieving a lot more than most of the people that I know or I grew up with.

SPEAKER_00: 46:06

Yeah, and low-key, this is our version of actionable advice. This is our way to give back. Like, we can't go back and give everyone money, right? Or give everyone a job. But it's just like, hey, can you let us know all the little nuanced mistakes you guys made uh to get to where you got to, to create multiple different media platforms to move out of state?

SPEAKER_01: 46:30

If there were only a platform where I could learn from your mistakes, here we are. Yeah. Rich, before we get into actionable advice, I do want to say something and I need your feedback on it.

SPEAKER_00: 46:42

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01: 46:42

If you could give a letter to your younger self, and I'm gonna frame this in a way that's like a letter to the extraordinary person. Within the word extraordinary, there's ordinary and extra. If you want the status quo, and if you want the baseline of living that came before you, and if you're cool and comfortable with that, that's ordinary. That's fine. No one's saying that you need more. I know a lot of people in my family, and I love them to fucking death, that they just enjoy their lives the way it is, bro. They enjoy drinking a Heineken, playing the block, playing domino, talking shit, getting fly, copping the latest pair of Tim's that came out, copping the latest Averex, and just buying a little jewelry, taking care of your kids. There's nothing wrong with that, bro. There's nothing wrong with that. But this is a letter to the extraordinary. Young rich, young Justin. If you want more, you gotta be comfortable with what comes with being extra, working extra hard, saving extra crazy, delaying gratification, like nobody's business, not hitting parties, not going out, not drinking, not smoking, not saying yes to every female that crumbs across the feed or your DMs. You're going to have to sacrifice a lot in order to become extraordinary. And part of that sacrifice comes this feeling of shedding old skin and growing new skin. And I would say, as a testimony to my friendship with Rich and anybody that I've stood cool with since a teenager to my 40s, you want to find your flock and keep flocking with them. Because these birds that are fucking flying in the same direction as you, some will go away and live their lives, and that's fine. But as long as you and the people you're mobbing with currently are speaking the same language, push each other, motivate each other, keep each other accountable, that's the flock you want to be a part of. And it's very unnatural to believe that the people from birth, God put you on a place that you had no control over where you were born, and somehow the same 10 people you went to middle school with are gonna be the same 10 people you're gonna be bonding and building with at 40. It's fucking impossible and it's delusional. In order to be extraordinary, you gotta do extra shit. And what extra shit comes extra sacrifice. So I just wanted to get that off before we got into actionable advice. This ain't for the regulars, bro. This is for people who want more.

SPEAKER_00: 49:27

Damn, you might have summarized the whole actionable advice in that one section.

SPEAKER_01: 49:32

Because I'm getting in that mode, Rich. I'm thinking about, I'm like, man, what is young Rich and Justin? What do they need right now? A lot of what we said earlier was for on the fence. You don't know, you're conflicted, you're in college. We're talking about the dudes that's like us, bro. I mean, that even sounds arrogant. I don't know how to say it, but you get what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00: 49:50

Oh, yeah, for sure. I think you're right. And yeah, let's uh let's summarize some of these. So I think the first one is naturally accept the growth that creates the distance, right? You're gonna be cold names, you're gonna be call Hollywood, you're gonna say, damn, this guy's outgrown us, or there's gonna be people that are gonna make you feel guilty about the success that you're achieving. And you need to accept that number one, that the distance exists and you're either smarter, more capable, or more ambitious than the people from back home. And two, not feel disrespected by the comments. Flip the narrative and take it as a positive. I think that's definitely actionable advice, number one.

SPEAKER_01: 50:32

For sure, and I want to build on that actionable advice. Outgrowing people is natural, it's not abandonment. We're living creatures, we're born and designed by biology to survive, adapt, and grow. There's not any living species on the planet that hasn't adjusted itself to survive, adapt, and grow. Rich and I, I would say rich more than myself, because he actually has a family. You're not gonna feel a way that your kids are living better than you're living. Because isn't that the whole mission? So that conflict of staying stagnant to please others and being uncomfortable with growth almost sounds insane to me.

SPEAKER_00: 51:23

Yeah, I agree. And, you know, it's it's this weird, it like I said earlier, bro, it's this mentality shift. It's uh I feel like the people from back home sometimes they just don't see a way out, just sometimes things are just are the way they are. And most people don't see a way out of the hood or a way out of their circumstance. And when someone does escape that struggle, it's sort of like that creates envy. It's just like, how the hell was he able to do that? Oh, what he thinks he's better than us now? It's that weird like hood mentality that you you kind of just have to suppress. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 52:00

And I'll get into action advice number two. I think this idea that you're gonna put time and effort into learning, growing, dedicating yourself to something so you can become more knowledgeable, more skilled, and not experience a change in your mind, or not experience, not bring in new information and not change your opinion on something. That is the one thing that I realize plagues a lot of people that don't grow and develop. How the fuck do you read three books, watch two documentaries, take a full online course, and assume that you're not going to have any change of mind? If you did all of that and didn't change your mind, then that means you didn't learn anything. You were just entertaining yourself. You go out into the world and experience things to learn things to change your mind so you can evolve and move forward. So, actionable advice number two is do not go into anything new and not expect to grow. Expect to always grow and learn and move forward. That shit throws me off how people can take on a new job or you know, take a new course, uh, whether it's a trade school, and then still think you're gonna be the same. If you're still the same, that means you didn't learn anything.

SPEAKER_00: 53:19

Yeah, I agree. Uh, I think actionable advice number three is stop explaining your elevation. Like you mentioned, bro, you're naturally you're gonna grow, especially when you go off into college, right? Like you're around a new group of friends, there's a different level of ambition, you're having different conversations, you're you're around a new circle of people. When you go back home, and the people from back home don't understand your lingo or don't understand your your worldview or newfound world perspective, and they're just confused about like your vernacular and like the way you're speaking. And it's just like, bro, I'm in college. Like there's just a different level of playing field over there, and you know, that's not you rubbing it in. That's not you acting different. That's just you growing and the people from back home not growing with you. And you know, to my point, is you you shouldn't have to feel the need to explain your elevation. Oh, why are you talking different, bro? Because I'm all I'm in college and we're I'm learning new fucking words. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have to explain myself to you, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 54:25

Well, you might have to explain what the new word means because the motherfucker. No, I will say the amount of times that I got called a white boy by my family.

SPEAKER_00: 54:37

That's annoying.

SPEAKER_01: 54:38

If I was given a dollar for every time I was called a white boy, I was acting like a white boy, I was talking like a white boy in my family, I'd be four pockets full right now, for sure. And my pops and my brother and a lot of the guys in my family tease me the most about that. Yeah. Don't wait, hold up. Don't get me started about when I started working at Whole Foods and I started learning a little bit about like organic food and the type of shit that we was getting from the bodega. Once I try to educate my grandmother, I'll never forget this. I'm in Brooklyn, Sunset Park area. I'm in my grandmother's house with my father, little ass kitchen. My grandmother's making a next level fucking dish for us. And I was working at Whole Foods for maybe six months. Rich, we worked together. Yep. Whole Foods was a different universe. I don't know about you for me when it came to like understanding food. I didn't even realize that this was there was this many nutritional options on the planet.

SPEAKER_00: 55:29

I didn't even know what sodium was. And they were like, oh yeah, you gotta keep your sodium levels down. I was like, what's that? Is that soda?

SPEAKER_01: 55:36

You know, you know, you know what really fucked me up when I was when I was working at Whole Foods? When I seen that they had um a cheese bar and an olive bar, my hood-ass brain couldn't fathom the fact that there was that many olives on the planet. And I didn't, I was not convinced that people were gonna come from all over the world to get different olives. Bro, that olive section was so popping that it just switched my whole mind about food. I was like, wait, I thought there was only one olive. The green olive with the red pepa that came in the goya jar. That was it.

SPEAKER_00: 56:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 56:13

So I took that knowledge and I tried to educate my grandmother on it. Bro, I almost got hit with a fucking salting, uh a frying pan. This woman was like yelling at me because I was trying to tell her to use organic rice for ah rock and and dule. Rich, she was not having it. And I remember that day, my brother being like, yo, why are you trying to come to this fucking house educating people on shit? If it ain't, broke, don't try to fix it, bro. You don't ruin the family recipe. And I think there is a beautiful little metaphor in the family recipe and trying to change it once you get more information.

SPEAKER_00: 56:46

Damn, that's good.

SPEAKER_01: 56:47

That's a true story, bro.

SPEAKER_00: 56:49

That's a true story. Listen, I remember bringing cheese cubes back. First of all, I thought there was only like three cheeses in the world. It was like American cheese, mustard, Swiss. And when I saw the cheese bar and Whole Foods, I was like, damn, this is crazy. Like cheese names, I can't. What the fuck is I can't even pronounce these cheese names, right? So I brought a container full of like cheese cubes over to my mom, and she was like, What the fuck is this? Like, this shit tastes like who's gonna eat this? Yeah, this tastes like cardboard. I'm like, oh damn.

SPEAKER_01: 57:19

Yeah, yeah. White people are so exclusive with what they eat, they started eating nasty shit, and your family is not understanding it. It's like, bro, these cheeses are not only do they taste nasty, they look nasty and they smell disgusting. Uh Rich, what one other actionable advice I did want to give, because I'm starting to feel like we're getting further away from the younger generation, is there is a burden that comes with posting on social media every time you succeed. Like you feel, hey, I accomplished this. I want to post this online. What advice would you give to somebody that might not be getting the most caring and loving feedback for posting too many successes? Have you experienced that? Do you have any advice for that?

SPEAKER_00: 58:03

Yeah, I think I don't want to say just celebrate quietly because I don't think that that's the right advice to give. I think you should celebrate all wins, even the small ones. And naturally that creates momentum and it and it propels you to keep moving forward. What I would say is have the self-awareness when you're posting online and are celebrating your wins as to who's going to see this, right? If your intention is just to share your wins and celebration amongst your family, then shoot text messages and just share with them uh internally. True. If you want to really flaunt and show your friends and have a bunch of people comment on your win, then sure, share on social media. But be aware that not all your wins or celebrations will be met with grace.

SPEAKER_01: 58:56

Yeah. This is gonna sound fucked up, but I know it to be true. Most of the time when you post or share a success that is yours, the first instinct for someone that has not achieved whatever it is that you shared is for them to think, damn, what did I do wrong? Or why don't I have that yet? And that's not of no fault to the person that wants like I think the second thought is always, oh shit, I'm I'm happy for you, man. Congratulations, I'm glad you accomplished that goal. But we are very selfish creatures by trade. It happens to me to this day. There are things that I see other people having, and even though my life is good, still good, I I'm legit, I'm happy at all circles of my life. But it takes me going out with my lady to uh the Halloween parade that just happened in LA and seeing a Older Spanish guy with his beautiful girlfriend or his wife and their three kids, and instantly I'm thinking to myself, damn, I wish I had that. Mind you, I have 98% of everything else. So that just is human nature to look at what somebody else has and envy that one thing versus not considering the other 98% of their life. So don't feel bad. Well, I mean, shit, everybody's listening to this has grown. Feel how you want to feel. I would recommend don't always feel bad when people don't naturally like, you know, cheer you on instinctually, just because most people are thinking about themselves and they could just hear their pride whispering to them, like, damn, what do we do? Why why don't we have that? And, you know, I think that's natural. I don't I don't necessarily blame people for that feeling.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:48

Yeah, I think that's good advice. Another actionable advice, I think, is just to build a tribe and a group of friends that matches your energy, matches your ambitions, uh, matches your altitude, right? Um, not everybody's on your level of frequency, not everyone is trying to achieve what you're trying to achieve. And I feel like the mission to greatness is easier when you're with a group of friends that are chasing that common goal with you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:16

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:17

Bro, what do they say? One bad apple could bring down a whole fucking army. You know what I mean? So, like, as much as you want to hold on to that friend from back home or from the hood, and he's only talking about his problems and talking about how he can't get out of the hood and how he wish he had what you had, like, that's a bad apple, bro. You sometimes you have to sever relationships and just continue on the path of greatness with the tribe that's helping you get there.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:42

Yeah, certain people are designed for certain missions. You don't necessarily need the same friends for every life goal and objective. They say people are seasons and relationships are seasons. And with seasons come reasons. And if you're in a phase of your life where you're you want to build a company at a young age and and you're dedicating 12 hours a day to that, hell yeah, you want to find some smart people that complement your skill set and are all working towards that common mission. It I find it very hard that the dude that you used to pop out to house parties with or get lit with or hang out, drink, smoke with. It's very rare that that guy is gonna also be the guy five years later that is uh is the best person on the planet to help you achieve this extraordinary goal that you have in your mind. And that's okay. It's okay to have different friends for different things. It's okay to not be able to explain what you're doing to your mom or your dad or your brother. Everybody has different seasons. Everybody has different reasons. Don't feel this obligation to do everything with the tribe that you were born with. I freed myself from that a long time ago. I don't think the person that I play pickup basketball with is gonna be the same dude that I could fucking put a multi-million dollar business together with. Two different skill sets, two different brain powers, two different everything. So don't feel guilty about that. That's just for the birds, bro. You find your flock by flocking. What I mean by that is the more you do, the more you drive in a direction that is truly passionate to you, truly piques your curiosity, you're gonna find more like-minded people while you're flocking in that direction. Chances are those people that you're gonna love being around are already doing that thing. It's not gonna come from where you come from. It's very hard, very hard to find that type of mentality from your original tribe.

SPEAKER_00: 1:03:40

A lot of people from back home, man, you you build this tribe, especially in high school where you're like close to like three or four, maybe even five guys, and you just feel like you're gonna conquer the world with those five guys, right? Like you guys are just brothers, and you build this brotherhood, and we're gonna go off to the same college together, and we're gonna build a multi-million dollar business. Like, we've been guilty of this. How many plays have we tried to run where it's been me, you, and three other people, and then it became me and you, and two other people, and then it became me and you and one other person, and then it's just me and you. Like, that was all the years of us vetting and being like, bro, I guess it's just me and you. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01: 1:04:20

That that one right there is a sensitive one because honestly, Rich, that might be the most survivor's guilt thing that we could come up with together. Straight up. And it it there is a conflicting, you want to pay respect to anybody that helped you get to where you're at, but life is a marathon. And if you have educated yourself on anyone that has done anything that requires 20 years plus of dedication, you're gonna be reading and watching documentaries about people that are wired in a different kind of way. I I could say it now that she's retired. I had the fucking blessing of working with Sylvia Rohn. And if you don't know who she is, Google her. That was the last four years. That woman has been one of the most dominant figures in all of music for the last 50 years. I couldn't name you a decade and five artists that she wasn't directly responsible for. And I had the luxury of mobbing with her and working with her very closely for the last five years, Rich. But this human made me understand what it takes to be a one of one. And in order to be a one of one, you have to be insanely dedicated to one singular mission. And I say that to say survivor's guilt may kick in when you're 30 years into your mission, as we are, Rich. And you start thinking about the people you started with. Man, a lot of people are gonna fall off in this road to God-level excellence, extraordinary achievement. And you don't become comfortable with the feeling, you just know that it comes with the territory. It's almost like I can't think of the right analogy, but like if you're at war and you're at battle and it's gonna be a long battle, chances are you might lose some people. And I think the smart generals and the clear-minded generals and the stoic generals understand hey, it comes with the territory. These things will happen when you're moving forward and marching forward. It just is a casualty of excellence.

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:36

Yeah, that's a big one. This is uh probably my last actionable advice. I don't know if you have any other, but uh transform the guilt into gratitude. I think we've touched on this a couple of times, but instead of feeling like you're outgrowing your past, your friends, your family, be grateful that those are the roots that you came from. Because at the end of the day, if you feel like um, well, what's the Tupac analogy? It's the the rose that grew from the concrete. If your hood is the concrete and you are that rose that grew from out of there, be grateful that you came from there. But definitely find the ability to turn guilt into gratitude and just appreciate where you came from.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:18

Yeah. I mean, there's not a lot I could add to that, Rich. This is uh, this was maybe one of our more personal and um honest episodes we've ever done. But yeah, if if I could give any advice to a younger Justin, 16, 17, with a big, a big dream, big enough that I would write a check on my wall for$250 million and truly believe that I can get there, is that you know, the journey will come with a lot of pain and a lot of sacrifice and a lot of adjusting who you think you are versus who you're gonna become. So uh if you are in the early stages of that journey, forgive yourself for learning more and changing, and there's nothing wrong with that. You should not feel guilt. You should feel pride in that the new information you're getting is allowing you to change who you are. And those who can't roll with you and they can't adapt to it, it's fine. You could keep them as acquaintances. You don't need them to be the best friends in the world. And as far as family goes, trust me, if your mother and your father truly wanted you to succeed and be more of what they were, that's what a parent is here for, to put you in a better position. If they're not cheering you on, eventually they will. They'll get it at some point. It's just that they are stuck in their uh worldview because they are who they are. They're first generation, they come from lower income, they're from the hood, they don't necessarily see the world you with the way you do. And the world is changing fucking fast. You know what I mean? Like the internet is in hyper speed. I expect my child and your child to naturally know shit that we don't know because there's so much information out there.

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:51

Damn, that's big, bro. There you have it survival's guilt, the burden of success. Man, I hope you guys like this episode. Follow us and subscribe to the YouTube at Failures Media, and we'll catch y'all on the next one. Peace.