SPEAKER_01: 0:03

There's even Twitter accounts and TikTok accounts dedicated to this question that they ask people that are over 60 years old, what's your greatest life regret? And the biggest regret that most of them have is I didn't capitalize on the time I was on this planet. I didn't pursue anything that I thought was worthwhile. I just comfortably lived in the uh come on, be realistic mind frame. And I let myself be comfortable because it was comfortable to be around other people who were also comfortable. And that's insane that we have all this information from older people, yet we still take the escalator when we know that taking the stair is sometimes a little bit more fun. Failures podcast. Today we're talking about dream killers. And the saddest part is your dreams were slowly killed, probably by somebody who had great intentions. Someone who genuinely loves you. You're probably watching this episode right now, beating yourself up, thinking, damn, I'm unmotivated, I feel lazy, I'm wasted potential. I can feel my dreams slipping through my hands. And you know, something that Rich and I discovered in our research for this episode is that most people that feel like they've wasted their dreams, it's been a product of quietly quitting. And that quiet quitting comes from family, friends, people pushing you in a direction slowly, and you don't even realize that you let your dream pass you by, and now life has gotten real serious. And you know, these people they have good intentions, they tell you things like, Man, take it easy. You have a backup plan, be realistic about your life. But here's what happens the bills get louder, the comfort starts settling in, and your dream is starting to sound childish, depending on who you talk to. We've been able to pull some research from this episode, and Rich, I found out that eight to nine men are going to work thinking about everything else other than work and truly feeling miserable on their way to work. That means out of every 10 men, eight of them are reporting that they have no interest in doing the job they do. And I have to assume as you get older, that increases. So, Rich, we discussed this off air a little bit. Something that we call well-intended dream killers. Why do you think we specifically you hesitate to share our biggest dreams or long-term plans with people close to us, including friends and family?

SPEAKER_03: 2:36

Yeah, man, dream killers, bro. Honestly, just I feel like 97% of people can't see the vision that you're on or the dreams that you're chasing. And, you know, for me personally, I try not to let any negative external influences that can slow my growth and my dreams or throw me off course. For example, if you imagine a builder bringing a random person to a piece of vacant land and saying, hey, in six months, there will be a nice, beautiful house here. Naturally, the person who's not a builder is going to be skeptical and is going to look at that empty land and say, How? Right? I just don't see the vision. I don't see the final product. And, you know, that's the difference between someone who can take action and be a doer and build versus someone who just doesn't understand the vision or or can't see the journey. And there's a big difference, you know, between these two folks. And I think it's okay to keep your dreams to yourself until you're ready to share them with the world.

SPEAKER_01: 3:38

Yeah, I mean, we had a pre-show meeting, and in order to protect those that we love and care about, I think we both agreed that the child in us, the dreamer in us, the long-term planner in us, is being met by this brick wall called reality. So in my late 30s, I even struggle sharing my biggest dreams for soon-to-be 40-year-old Justin. And I think the phrase that we created, which I think would be helpful for our younger listeners, is they're not dream killers. They're well-intended dream killers. Now, Rich, unpack that a little bit. Why did we add the term well-intended?

SPEAKER_03: 4:16

Because these people love you, Just. These are your family, your friends, your relatives, coworkers. You know, these people I think naturally have well-intentions. They don't mean any malice by this, but the dangerous term that they use a lot is be realistic. And to me, that's such a dangerous term because what is realistic, right? If you're following a dream and you have uh aspirations to follow a particular goal that seems a bit grandiose, a bit out of reach, it's hard for the people around you who have never tried to follow a similar path or haven't dreamt anything that large to see you accomplish that. They don't see it in themselves, so they don't see it for you as well.

SPEAKER_01: 5:03

Yeah, I'll I'll give you a great story of this idea of quietly quitting or allowing these well-intended dream killers to come in and take you off course. My nephew, who is 23 years old right now, and when we started failures, he was a part of the original team that we were trying to find a spot for him. And he would come to me a lot for life advice, and I would give him advice as his uncle. I know he wanted to be in entertainment and be in music. But you and I, Rich, we would discuss often, like, you know, we don't know what's for him, but we know it's definitely not what we're working on with failures. He just didn't have a spark and a genuine interest for what we were working on. But you could tell he wanted to be a part of something. And I remember this time last year, being around him and being around my family and being the 39-year-old version of myself, but almost seeing my dream inside of my nephew and having him talk to my mother or his mother or his sister, and almost all of them teasing him because he already, you know, dropped out of college, he had worked a few odd jobs, he was working construction at the time. And I could almost like a Christmas movie, like the ghost of dreamers past. I could see them teasing him about his dream about being in the music business. And I wanted to fight for him, but there was something in me that just didn't want to argue with my family, but I felt bad because I could tell that they were already shoveling this thing called reality into his graveyard. And they were telling him, hey, it's okay to change your plan. You know, you don't have to execute what you thought you wanted to be when you were 18. And that shit pissed me off. And long story short, and a good story to start our episode off with was I got to see my nephew find his own little lane in music where now he works a digital promotional agency where artists, whenever they come into New York or Miami, they reach out to him and he'll bring influencers to them so they he can help them create content and visibility online. And this is literally 12 months later. And he currently has a business, he has a license, he has his own little tax code, like he is upright and moving in the right direction. And there's something like the janitor in the movie Rudy. I'm cheering for him in the crowd because I was one of the people that told him not to quit on his dream. So I love that story, Rich, but I think there's a little bit of that living in all of us. But you even have family, you have friends, and how do you react when you see people, you know, pushing someone in the right direction in what they believe is the right direction with good intentions? Yeah, and you know that that makes me think just like I wonder if it's a cultural thing, like not to put labels on certain people, but I feel like white people in particular are more susceptible to or you could say affluent people, people that come from like you know, but yeah, in our world, if you take inner city kids that come from minority groups, labeling them as white people is something that we would say as a short for what is like the example of it?

SPEAKER_03: 8:00

Yeah, that's a good rephrasing. Affluent people, someone who grew up in a better community, someone who grew up in the suburbs. I feel like those folks understand what it is to envision something, what it is to have a goal, set a goal and meet the goal versus Latino, African Americans. Like we tend to want to say, be realistic, right? Like try work in construction, uh, try to be a doctor, things that seem realistic to your parents. And there's a disconnect, right, between Gen Z, where they could feel like they could do anything. They could be on YouTube, they could be, they could make a fortune on TikTok, they could have an e-commerce store. There's so many different things they could do in this new digital age. And parents who come from a different generation are just like, bro, I don't even see that dream. Like, how are you able to do that? They don't even understand the internet to understand what a digital business could look like. So there's there's certainly a disconnect based on like where you grew up and and how you were raised.

SPEAKER_01: 8:59

Yeah, if I think about it, like how would you, and I'm asking you the question, but I'll answer it first is how do you approach someone that comes to you with what you believe as an adult to be an unrealistic dream for themselves? I've been in that situation before where someone will come to me with an idea that sounds so insane that I could be the old head in the room. I could be the well-intended dream killer by sharing too much of my reality with what they see for themselves. But we've said this on previous episodes, Rich, and it's more relevant for this one than any other one. The path is not clear in the beginning. Having a dream and having an unrealistic goal is like walking into fog, a mountain with fog ahead of you. And as you continue to move forward and take each step, the clarity comes with each step in the road. So with each step comes clarity. And I feel bad that I could have been that for a few people, that I might have shitted on their dream or this long-term plan they have for the stuff. I'm just trying to like be realistic. I've had that moment where I've told someone, like, why would you do that? That doesn't even sound real.

SPEAKER_03: 10:10

Yeah, listen, success is one big game of probability. And if you came to me, I and I've I'm infamous for doing this, but I've had folks come up to me saying, I want to be a rapper for a living. And they have no technical rapping abilities. They just think that they're rhyming words is like, we're like, no, no, no, you gotta understand there's a whole there's levels to this. And where you're at currently and where like the superstars of the of the rap world are are two very distinct places. And that's sort of when you do have to be realistic. It's like, bro, the probability, even good rappers don't get record deals or uh have success in the music industry. Even good rappers, you're not even good. So, like that, those are one of the situations where you have to share a little bit of reality and say, bro, I support you for chasing a dream, but this particular dream right here, this this might not be reality. This might just be something that you're passionate about. But to make revenue from this when you have no talent, I think that's a difficult thing for them to adjust to.

SPEAKER_01: 11:24

Well, Rich, I have to say this because you are right in the fucking wheelhouse of my whole life, uh, talking about people that want to make music for a living and understanding what it takes to work with professionals. And even at the level of working with professionals that have already gotten their record deal and have been advanced millions of dollars to go and execute their vision of what they see themselves as. And no artist that signs a record deal doesn't see themselves as an underground artist forever. They see themselves as a stadium act, an arena act, selling millions and millions of records. That's why you take the advance of money up front. So for me, I don't even want to get too deep into that subject because a big part of my life is me trying to coach people into the reality that is what's in front of them. And that's kind of why I try to remove the idea of, you know, Rich, you and I have been labeled as dreamers since we were kids. I know that in my family, I was considered a dreamer, and so were you. There's nothing wrong with that. And on the other end, there's nothing wrong with an adult who loves you and cares about you that doesn't want you to squander your time and your resources and your emotional energy trying to pursue something that's not realistic. But there is a gap between the beautiful woman that we both know you can't attain, because even if you did, even if you did hook up with her one time and you got her attention, that is a fucking pet panther. At some point, you're gonna have to deal with the burden that will come with a woman that requires that much level of money, attention, and energy. But there is on the other extreme, which I think Rich, we're talking about in this episode, which is settling. And I think more affluent families that naturally come from a world where they play the game of probability, risk, and reward, they tend to put into their kids, hey, it's okay to try. You know, you have until 25 years old. Here's a nice little slash fund to go to college with. You can go to college, get drunk, crash your car, we'll take care of it. You're young, you're being crazy. There is this idea that you have more time in your life to risk and figure out who you are. And then maybe, just maybe by the chance of probability, like you said, you can get lucky and be and get rich. You can get lucky and start a business, you can get lucky and become a musician and become a superstar. You can get lucky and become a viral sensation, but you have to take the shot on the goal in order to score the goal. And I think that's what we're talking about. There is a gap between delusion and a simple reality. And the simple reality is if you don't try, you don't get. And I think that's what we're talking about. We might have come from families where we didn't even allow kids to try to do something that was out of the ordinary. I think you nailed it, Rich. Something as simple as working construction, being a mechanic, taking a job with the town, being a fireman, being a police officer. I I don't think you're saying there's anything wrong with those options.

SPEAKER_03: 14:17

No, there isn't. And honestly, I think back to my childhood, and I think I was able to detect that early on, bro, that I came from a community, I came from a family who pushed that be realistic narrative. And to me, that was so detrimental to what I wanted to do. Because, like you said, I wanted to try things, bro. I was a real estate agent, I was a music manager, right? I ran a media. This is our second media platform. I ran a media company with you. And I worked in the tech space. I've tried so many different things to see what was my angle, where was my competitive edge at? And I feel like had I shared all those dreams with family, they would have told me not to try them, right? Because I was going to fail. They would have said, How could you even be on the radio? Right. Like, like what do you think you're famous or something? Like that, that would have been the response. It's like they couldn't even see the vision of me being on a college radio station and turning that into a media company. So I purposely did not share a lot of my goals and ambitions growing up because I was afraid that I would either be ridiculed or that I would have a family member slash dream killer step in and diminish what I was trying to accomplish.

SPEAKER_01: 15:36

That's incredible, Rich. And there's one thing that we discussed in our pre-show, which is great advice for not a really young man, like anywhere between the ages of 14 and 20, I could see try as much as possible, try new things. Like Rich did, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail. There's nothing wrong with that. I think as you get older, the pressure of landing this helicopter somewhere starts kicking in. You nodded your head, Rich. What came to mind when I said that?

SPEAKER_03: 16:04

Bro, life pressures when once you get older and shit, I'm I'm in this now, right? Like you and I are building a platform from scratch, and I'm a father of two. I'm 37 years old. I have a full-time job. I have a mortgage. I have all these responsibilities, but I've never stopped dreaming. And this is something that I explained to my lady. Like, I am the type of person that I need to be allowed to dream. I need to be allowed to chase a goal, something greater than myself, something very difficult that I feel like I almost feel like I can't accomplish. But I I need to try for something difficult in order to feel alive. Like that's part of who I am as a person. And to your point, once the real world starts to settle in, once bills are due, once um, you know, you're you're behind on uh on bills and your baby needs food and formula and real life starts to kick in, bro. It's such a different ball game because those folks are priority. Your woman, the house, your children, those are priority. Your dreams become secondary to them. And that's a hard pill to swallow for a lot of people, especially people like us who are highly ambitious.

SPEAKER_01: 17:17

This is a phrase that you added to the document, and I want to read it back to you and see what comes to mind because it came from you. I just copied and pasted it into my notes because I thought it was so profound. Dreams don't usually die from failure, they die from adult responsibilities, comfort, fear, and other people's voices in the back of your head.

SPEAKER_02: 17:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 17:41

Why'd you write that? Why put that in your notes for the show?

SPEAKER_03: 17:44

Man, because ultimately I feel like nothing should be allowed to kill your dreams but yourself. I think that's the primary premises of this whole episode. It's like if you're going to stop doing something, stop chasing for something, it should start and end with you. No outside influence, no external forces should come in to manipulate that dream or that goal that you have to accomplish something great. And bro, sometimes that's hard to do, man. There's a lot of people around you who love you and want to give you sound advice and care for you and don't want to see you struggle and you know, don't want you to fail ultimately. Yeah. But really, it's on you to be able to juggle real life and also juggle chasing your dreams simultaneously.

SPEAKER_01: 18:35

Rich, there's one question I wanted to ask you. Is there a time in your life where you can remember now as a 37-year-old man that you quietly quit and you might have a little regret towards it when you look back?

SPEAKER_03: 18:48

Yeah, I mean, listen, when we were building our first media platform, I think we ran it for seven years, and towards the end of that tenure, different people started to follow different career paths, and a couple of personnel moved away. And I always was upsetting myself that I wasn't able to make it as profitable as it should have been, and that when folks started to disseminate, that I didn't have enough resources to kind of keep the ship afloat. Wow. And hindsight is 2020, right? Like I think think back to that moment, and I just recall us feeling like, damn, the result of us working with so many people is what hindered our success. And now we're on our second platform, and it's just you and I. So we're at a place where we only trust each other to reach any level of success. Because once you have a team of too many people, then there's too many variables, too many anomalies, right? If two people drop out of the business, now the business suffers. Now the business can't grow. And that's ultimately what happened with our first platform is just half of The team fell off and followed different goals and dreams, but it's difficult when not everyone's sharing the same common goal and dream as everyone else.

SPEAKER_01: 20:08

That leads me to I would say actionable advice number one, which is something that I had written down, and you basically walked right into it, which is victims surround themselves with victims, but dreamers also surround themselves with dreamers. So there's always a bias towards who you expose yourself to. So my advice would be surround yourself with victims long enough and you'll start believing that you're one too. There's a famous phrase, and I forgot who said it, but if you want to keep a man handicapped, just give him a pair of crutches. And you would think that would be the reverse, right? If someone was already hurt, if they found crutches, they would be able to heal themselves. But there is a dependency that comes with knowing that you have comfort. And a lot of the comfort is the lie that we tell ourselves when we're surrounded by other people who already have accepted that the world is against them and they're victims. So surround yourself with victims long enough, you start believing you're actually a victim. And what you feed your brain and who you surround yourself with, you slowly become. If there is no accountability around you, if there's those people who look at a cloudy day and look up and go, man, I can't wait for the sun to come out, but today's a good opportunity to get to it. I know it sounds cheesy, hokey, and corny, but it is valuable. If you want to dream big, you won't sound crazy if you surround yourself with people who also have very ambitious goals and see themselves much further than where they currently are today. That's why I think going to college for me was one of the greatest blessings I ever had. That's why meeting you, Rich, was one of the greatest blessings I ever had. Because it allowed me to be around people who didn't accept their current situations as their final situations. And I think it's so funny that we're grown, but I still think sometimes when you and I are on the phone, when there's no cameras recording, no audio being recorded, I think we can be corny to a lot of other adults with how we speak to each other about how big and ambitious our goals are.

SPEAKER_03: 22:08

Yeah, because I mean, you know, they sound far-fetched to the folks who who are not on the same journey as us, you know, and you that kind of leads me to my actionable advice, which is just stop asking permission to have a dream, right? That goes hand in hand with keeping the the right circle of people around you. And that to me is such a cheat code, bro, because once you feel like you stop asking for permission to have a dream and you stop letting these external forces have influence over your dreams, that's when you become linear on your path. And the noise of that dream killer starts to go down. And, you know, essentially you have blinders on. You know, with this platform we're building, failures media, right? I'm reluctant to share it with people that are super close to me for the sake of them diminishing what it is that we're trying to do. Like 99% of the world has a podcast, right? You know what I mean? So and I forget what the ratio is of which ones fail versus which ones are successful. It's very little podcasts that are very successful, but we have a very specific goal and dream, and and we see an entire media rolodex of self-help content that can help out young men. And we even have ambitions to bring like a woman on to have a woman's perspective on helping other women and in the self-help space. But that's that's a larger dream. That's the goal that we have. If you share that too prematurely, you're going to have people outside of the circle of friends who are trying to reach for something want to say, How are you going to do that? What woman are you going to get on your platform? Like just all these questionable things that are naturally going to slow down your growth over time.

SPEAKER_01: 23:56

Rich, I have a follow-up question to that one. But the metaphor and the thought that I had was you pulling out a 2,000-piece puzzle in front of a family function and sitting there and telling them, like, hey, let's put together this puzzle today. And you will quickly realize 90%, 97%, which is not research, just riches math. 97% of the people, nine out of 10, 10 out of 10, will say, You're going to try to put that together right now? You're going to put that, you know how many people I know that start puzzles and don't finish them? No, I'm good. I don't want to do that puzzle. It's just natural for people who have never done a 2,000-piece puzzle to walk away from it because they've never seen it done before. But how many times in your life, Rich, have you not only put one of those puzzles together, but you don't fuck around and lost half of the pieces, went and found the thousand pieces you lost, brought them back, put them back in the box, and then put it together. I think that conviction is what you're saying that maybe some people around you don't even understand about. So I don't want to answer it for you, but where does that pause come from where you're just like, you know what, I don't even want to talk about it.

SPEAKER_03: 25:02

I'd rather not share it. Yeah. And to that point, I feel like most people chase comfort at the end of the day. They don't want friction versus I'm the type of person who seeks very complex things and hard friction concepts to and put, like you said, puzzles to try to solve. And to me, I find the challenge rewarding. I find the journey fruitful when I could figure out something real difficult and make it to the other side and be like, damn, I accomplished that. Right. Versus the person who is not used to friction, who just seeks comfort, who looks at the 2,000 puzzle pieces and says, bro, go get me some chips, go get me a beer. I'm going to sit on the couch. I'll I'll watch you build that shit, but I'm not doing that myself.

SPEAKER_01: 25:49

Right. You actually bring up a good point. I think for the young man listening to this episode, he's thinking, damn, so I have to cut everybody off, even if they're not on the journey with me. I think you brought up a good happy medium which we should actually share with us. Find people who are gonna be the wind to your sale if they're not gonna be your sale. I like that. People that will support you, but don't necessarily want to climb the mountain that you're climbing. And I like the way you said it. Hey, look, I'm not as crazy as you to put together this fucking puzzle right now, but you know what? I'm your friend, I'm your significant other, I'm your family. I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna cheer you on. I'm gonna I'm gonna get you a beer, I'm gonna get myself a beer, and I'm gonna watch you be great. Rich, that was like unplanned, incredible advice there. Because I love a person that is willing to give someone the Gatorade while they're running the marathon.

SPEAKER_03: 26:41

I love that, yeah. And not only that, some of those folks actually can contribute to the mission in other ways. For example, if you tell somebody, yo, I want to try to be a YouTuber, but I don't want to be on camera, but I know how to use a camera and I know how to edit. Can I just film you? Bro, now you've added yourself to the success criteria of the equation, you're sort of silently part of the mission. You're not in front of the camera, but you're contributing to the overall goal. And I think that to your point earlier is what it's about is keeping people, like-minded people around you that maybe can't contribute so directly to the mission, but have other ways that can contribute. If you're running the race, they hand you the Gatorade. If you're climbing a mountain, you know, let me record some content of you climbing the mountain so we could put some social media posts up. There's different ways to contribute to someone's dreams and goals at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_01: 27:34

Rich, there's something I wanted to bring up because I think it's important to this section that we're in right here, which is the eight out of ten men who dread their commute to work. It's not even getting to work. That has to be 10 of 10 at that point. But eight out of 10 men that have abandoned their dreams, they dread their commute to work. And it brings me back to this phrase of quiet quitting. It's such a sophisticated use of language, quiet quitting. I found that word in our deep research. What is it about that frame? Because I know I've been there before. I've worked some shitty jobs that I knew I didn't want to be in anymore. What is it about that frame of quiet quitting and dreading your commute to work that is a part of that package of accepting that you might have fully abandoned your dream?

SPEAKER_03: 28:19

Yeah, I mean, listen, you could be somewhere physically and just not be there mentally, right? And I think that's mostly what happens to people who are going to a nine to five that they don't necessarily love or like, but still have a goal or want to chase a dream on the back end. I think two things can be true at the same time. You could hate your commute to work, but on that commute to work, bro, if you're on a bus or on a ferry, you could be working on your dream instead of doom scrolling on social media. Bro, I that's what I do on my commute to work. I re-listen to our podcasts, I send our editors notes, I'm posting social media clips. Like I'm actually working while I'm commuting to work. And that doesn't necessarily mean that I hate my job, but that's my opportunity to instead of doom scrolling, have smaller tasks, tangible tasks that are contributing to my overall dream.

SPEAKER_01: 29:15

Yeah, I think you said it well. And if I had to label it as actionable advice, it would be find your spark, even if it's a side hobby.

SPEAKER_02: 29:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 29:23

You have to look forward to something in life. And we've done enough episodes. We're 20 plus episodes of failures in. We've dissected all different variants of the depressed man, the overlooked man, the man who feels insignificant, the lonely man. There's so many labels for this community that we speak to every day. But I think one anecdote that could be used for every single one of that type of man that we've labeled is to find a passion, find a spark, find some form of thing to do that drives your curiosity. And passively sitting around watching other men be excellent, like MMA or the NBA or NFL, that's cool. I'm not against that. I love sports, I grew up on sports, but find something where you can put yourself into the solution, where you can create a small problem and try to solve it yourself. I think that's what you're saying, Rich. There's enough time in a day, and technology has become so convenient that you could be using your commute or the quiet time in your life to pursue your side passion or your side hobby.

SPEAKER_03: 30:34

Yeah. And you know what I think would be helpful, just like if we could share how we've dealt with family who don't necessarily understand the dream, but have a lot of questions about the dream or try to insert themselves in into what you're working on. Because I find that to be a challenge even today.

SPEAKER_01: 30:54

I have a very simple format for this, and I'm so glad you asked. I share it with my nephew a lot. I actually share it with my girlfriend who I spent Christmas with her family recently. Most people that come from humble beginnings and may have come from another country to the United States, or maybe part of that weird second generation that doesn't have the luxuries of more affluent families who have been here for hundreds of years and they already have infrastructure. I empathize with that family. I empathize with that kid. I empathize with that grandkid that is trying to do well and right for their family who just got here or is figuring their financial situation out. I know it's not easy, but if you're the person in the family that has been given the fortune to go and pursue your dream with confidence and next level vigor, you have afforded yourself one of the most beautiful opportunities in life. And that's to pursue what's inside of you. You don't necessarily have to work on the farm, you don't necessarily have to work on your family's business. You have a whiteboard that is clean. You can write whatever the fuck you want on it. That's your dream. So when you say, How do I deal with family who I have to share my dreams with? I told my nephew recently, start with a trophy. Most people respect trophies. Look behind me. You don't know anything about me. But by default, you're like, either that dude bought all of those fucking trophies on eBay or he got them trophies in himself. Look behind Rich. He has a whole gang of certifications behind him. Either that dude just likes collecting paper and frames, or he's accomplice. Go to the dentist, look around. You'll always see a where they graduated from, where they got their uh bachelor's, where they got their master's, where they got their PhD. Why? People respect trophies. So when you're talking to a family that may have not achieved what you want to achieve, you have to speak to them in dollar amount, and you have to speak to them in terms of, oh, do you know this person who's already accomplished that goal? That's what I want to do. And since they already know who Bad Bunny is, you don't have to waste your fucking time telling them you want to be a musician. You just got to tell them I want to be Bad Bunny and they'll get it. So I speak in terms of accomplishments. That is my actionable advice because it's not your family's fault. They're first generation, second generation are immigrant. They're not gonna understand what it is, this new American dream that you're pursuing. So I like to speak in terms of trophies, meaning I tell them how much money I'm gonna make, what kind of goal, or people that have already done it. And it makes it a little easier for me to communicate it. Or I'll speak to them in movies or reality shows, things that they've seen before.

SPEAKER_03: 33:39

That's great advice. I think I take a little bit of a different approach. I think that a lot of times my explanations are like too complex for them, especially when you've told me this before. Yeah, like like I have immigrant parents and um they don't understand a lot of like American culture. So I try to turn things into like light humor or like a joke. Like they'll ask me about the podcast. I'll say, Oh, it's just a little thing, it's a hobby. Or I tend to feel like once you make light of the dream and don't over-explain what you're doing, it becomes this lighthearted thing that they don't really even know how to reject, right? It's just like, oh, it's a little hobby he's working on, right? There's no room for rejection. And my flex is going back to them a year later, two years later, and be like, Oh, yeah, remember that little thing I was working on? Like, I just made a hundred thousand dollars from that little thing, and they're like, Oh, really? You know, and then that's to your point, that's sort of like the trophy that I could highlight after I previously mentioned that it was just like a small thing that I was working on. So I kind of like make light of the dream so that they don't become overopinionated, and then I bring the results when I have them.

SPEAKER_01: 34:52

Rich, that's such great advice. Like, so you're saying if you're surrounded by someone who loves you, but naturally their fear is to let their kid dream something they can't achieve. The best way to disarm those you love is to tell them the dream is just a small dream. It's not that big. I'm not investing too much time. So the way I see it is a young rich pointing at his family saying, you know, I'm gonna go into those woods in there and I might come back in a year, but don't worry about it, it's nothing too crazy. I'm just gonna do something really small. And then a year later, you come back with a lion's head and a sheep jacket because you killed everything in the woods and you came back as a conqueror, as somebody that went in there with intentions and came out with a big prize. And I love that because there's something about the risk that comes with a big dream, and you're always gonna pay a tax on having big dreams because with big prizes comes a lot of friction, and you got to be ready for that friction. So I can't I like that because you're playing a little Jedi mind trick on your family. You're like, oh, don't worry about it, it's not that big, but really it is.

SPEAKER_03: 35:55

Yeah, and you know, it's tough to downplay your dreams, right? Because, bro, I'm sure you're excited.

SPEAKER_01: 36:00

I can't do it, I can't do it.

SPEAKER_03: 36:02

It pours out of me. I get too excited. Yeah, exactly. You're you're really excited, it's all you think about night and day, and you can't wait to share with the world. But sharing that dream with the world comes with some unforeseen consequences that unfortunately you're gonna have to deal with, and that's rejection, that's sidelining your dreams, belittling your dreams, making you less motivated to pursue those dreams. So it's a double-edged sword. I always side on the sense of caution where hold on to your dreams until they become something tangible that you can show the world, you can show your parents, and they'll get it. Hold on to them and hold on to them tight.

SPEAKER_01: 36:44

You know, I like what you said, and I'll frame it this way: if you downplay the risk of your dream, then it doesn't trigger the fear of your parents and family who love you that don't want you to risk too much. Because I think it's the risk that makes people worried for you. Like if your son told you he was gonna fly across the country in pursue of his dream, I don't think you'd be mad at the dream. I think you'd just be a little concerned about the risk that may come with uh traveling across the country.

SPEAKER_03: 37:10

Yes. And that brings up another point, and this is actionable advice, is be responsible about your dreams and vision. Well, what do I mean by that? Don't pursue a dream and blow all your money and not have anything to eat for the week, or have bills that are past due, or rent that's past due, because now you're reigniting that fear that your parents have of you pursuing that dream. They don't want you to pursue the dream because now the risk has increased because you're not paying your bills. You don't have money for food. Now they need to insert themselves and come and save you from making an unfortunate, drastic risk and a negative situation that they need to pluck you out of all for the sake of pursuing your dream. So I think it's pivotal that you follow your dreams and visions, but be responsible about it. Make sure your fucking mortgage is paid before you go out and spend some money chasing your dreams.

SPEAKER_01: 38:12

Rich, when I was really young, I would do the stupidest shit to get money. And one of my uncles told me anything times zero is zero. If you risk it all, you can't win the game because you're gonna get locked up. You can't win the game if you're not in the game. So risk needs to be respect if it's gonna take you to zero, meaning death, prison, ruining your reputation, ruining your relationships that are valuable to you. Be very mindful about high-level risk when it comes to chasing your dreams because it can wipe you the fuck out. So I'm so glad you mentioned that. I know the dreamer that is listening to this episode and it's 45 minutes in is probably thinking, oh, there they go. Now they're finally being old men that are that are hating. No, no, no. Anything times zero is zero. You have to be very cautious about risking it all. And I find that specifically in the communities we come from, Rich, there's a lot of risk with getting money in order to put yourself on so you can get above water. And listen, I come from a family that risked a lot. I don't judge anybody that got to get it by any means. If you got to get it out the mud, I get it. But don't get it out of the mud forever because anything times zero is zero. You do not want to be tapped out of the game or have a felony charge or have a burglary charge or a robbery charge. You don't want none of that in your resume. It sticks and it really fucks up your reputation, amongst many things.

SPEAKER_03: 39:38

Yeah, I love that. Just question for you. Do you think that there's an expiration date on chasing your dreams?

SPEAKER_01: 39:45

No, you know, you know, I'm gonna say no. I can't wait till I'm 60. I'm gonna do my like, bro. I I figured out a cheat code in life. The cheat code in life is that as long as I have something to look forward to, this time I'm gonna spend On this planet is going to be enjoyable. I found the most misery when I've accomplished my goals. I read a book called Creativity Inc., it's about the founder of Pixar. And the first page of the book, he says, the saddest day of my life is when we released Toy Story because my greatest goal was accomplished. It's this melancholy feeling of reaching the goal that you've always wanted. To simplify the analogy, one of the saddest days of my life is when I hooked up with my high school crush in college. It was like I wanted it my whole life. And I think I was trying as hard as possible to get one girl's attention in all of my high school career. And when I finally got it, when I finally unwrapped that present, it was sad because I really didn't have a lot to live for after that. So I don't think there should be an age limit all the way till you're in your 80s, when you're in your 90s. Find something fun to do and pick a goal that's a little bit out of reach. Obviously, you don't want to do anything that's fucking stupid. I'm not going to play in the NBA. That ship is sailed. But you definitely want to have an attainable goal that's a little bit out of reach. I think that is a cheat code in life.

SPEAKER_03: 41:12

Yeah, I love that. And I feel like that reminds me like when you're chasing a dream, you're subscribing to a journey. You're going down this one path and saying, I'm going to get hit, I'm going to get bumps and bruises, I'm going to get scratches, but I'm choosing this path in pursuit of this dream. And that's what you're really subscribing to. However long that journey takes, is TBD, right? It could take five years, 10 years, 15 years. But I think to your point, that's where the happiness is, is you being in pursuit of something. But just not having a dream and not having a journey is not acceptable, right?

SPEAKER_01: 41:54

Yeah, I mean I don't know if you've seen this movie, Rich. And if you haven't, I'm very excited for you to watch it. This movie Soul, it's a Pixar movie.

SPEAKER_03: 42:02

Oh, I've seen it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 42:03

My girl is a huge, she does animation, she does 3D animation, she's an artist. And she's introduced me to this beautiful world called Pixar. These movies have heavy ass meanings to them. And I would be lying if I were to tell you I wasn't fighting tears when spoiler for those that haven't seen the movie, Soul, at the end, a beautiful woman tells him, after his he's accomplished his greatest goal in life, she says, Let me tell you the story about the fish who asked an older fish, hey, do you know where the lake is at? I'm trying to get to the water. And the fish tells him, What do you mean? You're in water. And he's like, No, no, no, I'm trying to get to the ocean. And he's like, Ocean is water. You've been living in it your whole life. This idea that there's a greater destination when you're in pursuit of that greater destination is a mistake. And I think you and I are a product of that. There's days, Rich, where I know you're super frustrated about the lack of progress we're making as a business. But I tell myself, because I've known you long enough, that means Rich is having a good time. He's having fun. He's trying to figure out the code. He's flipping this Rubik's Cube, trying to get the colors to match. And I know it may not seem enjoyable in the moment, but looking back on it, do you feel that level of excitement when you can't figure something out? I mean, thumbnails is your greatest passion right now. I can't imagine.

SPEAKER_03: 43:29

Thumbnails is what I'm losing sleep over these days because I know it's something we have to improve on. But yeah, bro, certainly there are days where I feel frustrated. I feel like things, for example, I'll publish a video and I'll have this like amount of views in my head of what I think the video could do. And then when it won't do that, I'm like, damn, where did I mess up? Well, what packaging error did I make? Was it the title? Was it the thumbnail? Was it the description? And bro, that's exactly what we're talking about. This is the journey. I'm having fun trying to figure out this puzzle piece of YouTube content engagement world. And it's fun, bro. And I encourage anyone who's on the pursuit of a dream to fall in love with the process, fall in love with the journey. That the destination is cool, and that's the end result. And that's when you hold up the trophy and you know raise the medal in the air and say, I did it. But the journey, the trials and tribulation that it takes to get there, that's really the win, bro.

SPEAKER_01: 44:30

There's uh my nephew when I went back home for the holidays, he was playing a video game, and this motherfucker was so locked into this video game, he didn't speak to anyone in the family. So I was trying to start a conversation with him. So while I'm talking to him, he's playing this game, and I said, What do you like about the game so much? He goes, It's hard, it's hard, it's not easy to win, but it's fun. And I immediately left him alone, even though everybody was mad because he was immersed in his video game. And I I respected his framing for why he was playing the game because I, as a 39-year-old man, accept that challenge called life and my ambitions and my goals and the things that get me up in the morning. He nailed it. He's like fucking seven years old. He said, It's really hard, but it's fun. And I think that cocktail doesn't make sense as a drink for a lot of people, but those that have accomplished the unthinkable or have gotten really close to accomplishing their goals, they understand and respect and salute that little combination in life. It's difficult, but it's fun. And if that balance is right, you can do that forever.

SPEAKER_03: 45:43

Yeah. And listen, just because you understand that balance doesn't mean your parents are gonna understand that balance or your friends. So I feel like you fall into a deep, deep rabbit hole of confusion when you try to oversell your dreams and overexplain the things that you're passionate about to the people around you. It's okay for them not to get it, and it's okay for you not to have to explain yourself, bro. You know what I'm saying? Only you understand your vision, only you understand what you're passionate about. So I'm very self-preserving of the vision, of the dream, of the journey in that sense.

SPEAKER_01: 46:20

Rich, there was one thing I wanted to share, and this could go under actionable advice or the other section that you we discussed, which was how do you go about sharing your dreams with your family without impeding your own growth? And I think this one works for both of them. I find that every time you bring up an ambitious goal or are in pursuit of an ambitious goal, hypothetically, you're someone that's always been overweight, and you want to share your weight loss journey with someone in your family or a friend or a loved one, or a better example, you want to quit smoking, or you want to stop drinking alcohol, and you're speaking to people who may also have similar addictions or vices, I want to say addictions. There's something weird about sharing the growth and progress that you've made as a person for something that you want for yourself with people that may secretly struggle with that thing as well. I find that sometimes subconsciously, people who love you, friends, family, significant others, they may push their expectations of themselves onto you because we are selfish creatures. When we hear what other people are doing, we naturally think about ourselves first. So for the 35-year-old who's going back to college, that may make a 40-year-old who dropped out his sophomore year in college feel insecure without even knowing it. And that person is naturally going to try to talk you out of it because their insecurities are coming through the work that you're doing and a new goal that you and dream that you have. I don't know if you've ever experienced that, but that is a really nuanced thing that I've noticed as an adult.

SPEAKER_03: 48:05

Yeah, bro, I agree with everything you just said. I think naturally, if you're someone who's chasing a similar goal as uh a friend or a colleague, naturally that person tends to think about themselves first and project their insecurities about other people. You know, in the pre-show, we were talking about um what this episode reminded us as far as like Jay-Z lines. And Jay-Z had a line that said, My uncle never thought I'd sell a million records. I sold a million records like a million times. And he was explaining to the journalist that uh when he when he told his uncle the vision of becoming a rap superstar, his uncle didn't even see it. How are you going to sell a million records? Like he couldn't even visualize the vision and understand it enough to know that Jay-Z was on the pursuit of greatness and he sold the a million records like a million times. So I think naturally people are always going to project their insecurities on others. And like we said earlier, sometimes there's really no malice intended with projecting your insecurities. They just really genuinely do not see the vision, which is why I'm gonna continue to say to be self-preserving about your dreams, bro, because only you understand the vision that you're on.

SPEAKER_01: 49:21

Rich, the quiet quitting is something that's stuck with me. And there's a word that you said earlier, which I want to bring up here. What is your advice to someone that is always using the phrase later, tomorrow, manana, next year, new year? I'll start.

SPEAKER_03: 49:38

Mr. Manana, that's the that's the procrastinator. I think we all have a little bit of that guy in us. We'd be lying to say that you and I are two highly ambitious people, and we don't have our moments of procrastinations or our moments where shit. We just want to shut our brains off and we don't want to work on anything. We just want to watch a little bit of TV and sort of unwind. So I think a little bit of procrastination is okay. Like you can't burnout is a real thing if you're on a blind pursuit of your dreams and you're just like, I'm gonna work 24-7, and I'm just gonna mash out all these tasks 24 by seven and not sleep, and ultimately you could reach burnout. But to answer your question, I think waiting till tomorrow is only delaying the results that you're looking for, right? So if you're somebody, like you said, who's overweight and you're looking to drop 40 pounds and you're gonna wait till tomorrow, you're gonna wait till next week, or you're gonna wait till the new year watch or the new year. New year gym sessions are always packed, right? The whole it seems like the whole entire world is trying to get fit on January 1st, but waiting for tomorrow is only delaying the journey and the process of you know reaching that goal that you're trying to reach.

SPEAKER_01: 50:52

Yeah, and we've said this before, and we should say it again is that the comfort is a blanket, it's a very cozy pillow that you lay in at night. It's comfort. Complain, blame, and quit. It's one of the clips that we posted, and it's more relevant now than in any other episode. Because when you become Mr. Manana, like you said, Rich, anyone that is on the side of giving you the comfort to not attack the goal that you have in your mind today is gonna give you the exit that you're looking for. So I know we spent the better portion of the show pointing out the people that can stop someone from being great and achieving their ambitious goal and their dream, but I think accountability needs to be had for the person that has the dream. Some people openly share what they want to do with other non-ambitious people because they want to hear back from them that maybe they're going too hard or baby, maybe they're doing too much. Listen, you're going to the gym too many times, you're going to hurt yourself. And you're like, you know, I was thinking the same too. I think I need a day off. It's kind of crazy what our brain does to us sometimes. We like create these little threads of convenience that we try to fish out of the world because we want to feel good about the little bit of work we've done.

SPEAKER_03: 52:03

Yeah. So some people self-invite the dream killers into their own world for the sake of like giving themselves action paralysis, right? Listen, I've been a victim of this too, right? Even with this like YouTube failures, media platform journey that we're on. I know what the end goal is. I know there's about 200 tasks in my brain that have to get done in order for us to, you know, be one step closer towards that goal. And sometimes if I let all those 200 tasks flourish in my brain and just spin and give it too much thought, I get action paralysis. I'm like, whoa, I need to sit down. There's just way too much to do, and I don't know where to get started. And that's a real thing, too, bro. Like you over-analyzing and overthinking about the journey and all the tasks you have to do to reach a dream or reach a goal can also be action paralysis. And the way I've combated that is bro, incremental progress every day. Just do one thing, no matter how big, no matter how small, just do one thing that's pushing you in the direction of accomplishing that goal. And like we've said in many other episodes, over time, if you do one thing every day for 365 days, bro, think about how much progress you have, right? Now you supersed the 200 tasks, right? Because 200 tasks, one task a day is 200, 365 days. Now you're 365 tasks into accomplishing that goal. That to me is the biggest cheat code when you're chasing your dreams, bro.

SPEAKER_01: 53:39

And that does remind me of something we discussed in our pre-show meeting, which was the Jeff Bezos, when I'm 80 years old, will I regret this framework? And, you know, we cite a lot of tech guys and multi-billionaires on this show, but there's a lot to be learned from people that have accomplished the unthinkable, people that have literally lived on this planet long enough to do something that no man has ever done and live a healthy enough life to write about it and write how every phase of their journey they doubted themselves. So, to your point, Rich, even one of the top three most wealthiest humans on the planet, that being Jeff Bezos, shared that at 35 years old, he was considering working a nine-to-five job and not pursuing this silly idea of a web store that sells everything, which eventually became Amazon.com. And the way he made the decision was he he sat with his co-founder, his good friend and his wife, and wrote on a whiteboard, like A B, what will I regret most if I don't pursue this at 80 years old? And we find now from all the research, and you there's even Twitter accounts and TikTok accounts dedicated to this question that they asked people that are over 60 years old, what's your greatest life regret? And the biggest regret that most of them have is I didn't capitalize on the time I was on this planet. I didn't pursue anything that I thought was worthwhile. I just comfortably lived in the uh come on, be realistic mind frame. And I let myself be comfortable because it was comfortable to be around other people who were also comfortable. And that's insane that we have all this information from older people, yet we still take the escalator when we know that taking the stair is sometimes a little bit more fun.

SPEAKER_03: 55:33

Yeah, and listen, if you recall back when he was creating the bookstore, his wife, I think, gave him$100 or$50,000 towards the business. His parents also injected liquidity into that business. So, you know, going back to the way, way, way beginning of this episode where we were saying there's a cultural difference between white, semi-affluent, suburban folks who give a dream chaser the motivation and the leeway to pursue that dream versus Latin American, African American families who don't understand the vision and can't, you know, well, they're they're trying to make ends meet. How the hell am I gonna help you chase a dream? Like we're we're we're barely surviving. And I was never able to follow my dreams. How how can I let you chase yours? There's a big difference, bro.

SPEAKER_01: 56:25

Damn, Rich, that was that felt like it came from your gut because that was a big Uno reverse that you just threw down on the table in this conversation between me and you. You're saying, yeah, Just, I love the advice that you're giving our community. They should not have regrets when they turn 80. But back to the original point, you need that infrastructure around you, you need that community, you need that tribe. And if everybody is not helping you move in the right direction or supporting you, it's really difficult to not live with regret when everybody around you is on their road to living with regret.

SPEAKER_03: 57:06

So Bro, yeah, man. Listen, I think life and circumstances are very much part of the equation. And if you take the time and you're fortunate enough to have that infrastructure, bro, they could beeline your way, you know, into your dreams. I uh I saw a clip, I think it was about a year old, but it was like this MLB player who wrote like a letter to his parents. And with his basically what the letter was saying was with his first MLB contract, with like the money he received from that, not only did he pay back his parents for all the travel, the food expenses, the clothing, the training camps, but he paid off their mortgage, he paid off their debt, and he told them, I want you guys to live out the rest of your years enjoying yourselves and paying yourselves back for all the sacrifice you guys made when I was younger to fight in pursuit of my dreams. And that to me was such a beautiful story, bro. Because fortunately for that MLB player, he had the infrastructure, he had the parents to support him and his goals and ambitions and his dreams. And, you know, just sometimes we're not that fortunate. And you don't have the infrastructure of people around you to support your dreams, which is why I go back to being self-preserving about your dreams. Especially if you're someone who doesn't have that infrastructure, just keep your dreams to yourself because no one around you is going to understand and you don't have the infrastructure of people to support you in that journey.

SPEAKER_01: 58:37

Yeah, Rich. Uh, why waste your time talking about a plan or sharing that plan when you can start executing that plan today? I think, like you said earlier, there is a comfort with knowing, hey, if I told enough people about my plan, I can get the gratification of talking about what I want to do versus actually doing it. Because we know it's a lot easier to talk about going to the gym or beginning your weight loss journey or going back to school. It's a lot easier to say it. It's a lot harder to wake your ass up every day at 5 a.m. and drive to a community college or drive to a gym and actually put the work in. So I think that's great advice. Rich, you mentioned something that I just kind of want to dissect a little bit more because I think it will be helpful for our community. So when a young man is in that weird spot where they have a family, no blame of theirs. They just are a family who doesn't think the American dream, become a millionaire. Like, what is your advice to them that when they have these ambitious goals, that they could see people online actually achieving them? But they're only limited based on the authentic reaction that's coming from their actual relatives.

SPEAKER_03: 59:46

Yeah, listen, I think naturally family, when you don't have the infrastructure in place of folks that are going to help you pursue your dreams, I think naturally these folks don't understand the vision. You, for example. You could tell your parents a dream, they'd be like, all right, that's cool, go take out the fucking garbage. You know what I'm saying? Like they just they're worried about now, right? Now, now, now. Like, we have problems now. Like, you want to follow this ambitious dreams of being a coder or video game designer or a YouTuber or Olympic gold medalist. Like, bro, that dream of yours is 10, 15 years down the road. We need you to go take out the fucking garbage right now. And that that is the dream killer, bro. Not not intentionally malicious, right? But parents have this way of just worrying about now and solving problems for now that they're not looking 10, 15 years down the road and helping you pursue your dream. So you have to be aware of that. You know, there's also time and place, right? Like, don't go and share your dreams when your dad has had five beers and he's watching a baseball game.

unknown: 1:00:56

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:57

Like, he's not gonna be receptive to that dream. Like, there's also time and place.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:03

Um is that uh um is that a caution to your son when you're sitting watching the fight? Like now's not now's not the time to be sharing that emotion with me.

SPEAKER_03: 1:01:12

Yeah, be be quiet. I'm trying to watch how to send you and knock somebody out.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:16

Yeah, listen, you know what I love about this show, Rich? Because it is cathartic. We're paying to do our own therapy in some kind of way.

SPEAKER_02: 1:01:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:23

What you just said literally unlocked an old dusty ass memory in my mind of me coming home from my job at Pizza Hut, and I was at community college at the time and doing the radio show with you and a few of our other friends who started our first media company. And I remember being so proud of myself because I was working a bullshit job, I was driving an hour and a half to Ruckers two times a week, and um, I was going to college and I was so proud of myself. And I remember coming home to a big ass basket of clothes that my mom parked right in front of my bedroom door. And I you just unlocked this memory, bro. I swear I forgot that this happened. I literally took the clothes and moved them in front of her door and was like, I don't know why the fuck you put all these clothes there. And I went in my room. My steppops, not my mom, my steppops came out and he started barking on me. This is the first time me and my steppops ever got into a real argument because I have my father, father, and he always respected that. But he bro, he came at me on some like, you don't pay no fucking bills here, your mom does your laundry. I was bugging because I'm like, wait, you put the clothes in front of my door. It wasn't even my mom. And me and my steppops, Mickey got into arguments, one of the few arguments we ever had. And he was like, yo, if I do anything while you live in my house, I'm going to teach you responsibility. So all this driving in the middle of the night, coming home late, leaving your shit here, like you're doing your own laundry and you're paying rent. As a 39-year-old, I look at me at 22, I probably should have been doing my own laundry and paying rent.

SPEAKER_02: 1:03:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:06

And a man that's not my father was like, I'm not taking care of you forever. So what are you gonna do about it? That is a real life scenario that I went through and I forgot about that is exactly correlated to this episode. What options did I have, Rich?

SPEAKER_02: 1:03:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:21

In my mind, I felt like he was trying to kill my dream. But in all actuality, I think he was teaching me a valuable lesson. So both can be right, is what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03: 1:03:29

Yeah, for sure. And you know, not to put your business out there, but 10, 15 years later, you flew him out to LA and showed and gave him the best week of his life. And that's the full circle moment right there, right? Yeah, like he didn't believe at that time. But once you flew him out to LA and gave him the a grand experience, he was like, damn, this is what he was in pursuit of his this entire time. I see it now.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:52

Yeah, I would have never shared that part because it is tacky to you know share when you give people uh beautiful things in life, but I partially did that because my steppops always believed in my dream. And he was someone that spent time in prison and had a rough childhood. And I think he saw that part of the episode that we're talking about where you involuntarily put a lid on your kids and the people you love because you don't know anything beyond a certain point of life exposure. But he did pass me the baton and gave me the power and energy to be like, run as far and as fast as you can, because I know this living situation is not for everybody. So I always loved my steppops for that and I always appreciated him for that. But staying true to the theme is that my mom and dad just didn't know enough to know what was unrealistic for me. So they did doubt me sometimes. I don't think they ever were malicious. And to your point, Rich, that was one of the most gratifying moments of my life that my stepfather can call me for life advice now, for financial advice. My mom can ask me for real life advice now. And in some weird way, because I did come back with the lion's head and the sheep coat, that I am now a part of the peer group of adults that allow to speak to the other young people in our family about hey, you can live a simple life, stay in the same town, get a good job, or you can do the rich and Justin path and dream big. And now we have those affluent people in our family. So this is a letter to all the dreamers. If you're the first person in your family that's trying to do the unthinkable, Rich and I are definitely living proof. But that hill and that mountain that you're trying to climb is not only gonna come with the resistance that comes from the world naturally, it will come from the people that live in the same fucking house as you. And that is one thing you have to know when you start that journey. And don't use it as an opportunity to conveniently tap out or quietly quit. You have to keep going and understand that if someone has accomplished this goal before me, it is absolutely attainable. I just got to keep fighting and pushing through. And there will be some pushback from your family, and we've coined them well-intended dream killers for a reason. They're not just being mean, they actually mean well, and I can speak from experience. And saying that story right now, Rich, brought me crazy flashbacks because I'm speaking from personal experience, whether I knew it or not.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:17

Damn. I wish I could unscrew my mic and just do like a mic drop. That was perfect, bro. Yeah. Dream killers, man. There's one in every family, two in mine. It's like, you ever seen the movie Sinners?

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:34

You ever seen the movie Sinners?

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:36

There's something about their eyes that you could just tell. These motherfuckers came to hate. Yeah, they came to Thanksgiving dinner to hate. Yeah, just be like, oh, you're doing what? Wait, I have a question. You don't have to say names. What have you felt before after you've attained your goals to anybody that it could be a friend or a family member that you know tried to talk you out of something? Just for anyone that is about to accomplish that goal. What does that feeling feel like when you get to achieve your goal, especially in the face of someone that was probably a dream killer?

SPEAKER_03: 1:07:04

Yeah, for sure. It's I mean, listen, it's happened to me a couple of times. Certainly, a place of of uh of gratitude. I think naturally the person who didn't believe in my goals and ambitions, I use it as fuel essentially, bro. So I didn't even feel the need to rub it in their face when I accomplished it. I in my head, I was just like, thank you. Thank you for the more thank you for telling me I couldn't do this, or that you couldn't see the vision. Because this gave me motivation to ultimately accomplish that goal.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:34

Yeah. What what's the Kanye line? I forgot what song that was, but I just pulled up the lyric and I remember him saying that, and that shit hitting home when I was younger, being like, damn, I could let these dream killers kill my self-esteem, or I could let that steam power my dream.

SPEAKER_03: 1:07:49

I love that line.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:50

Yeah, there's a lot of rap music, and a lot of the best poets that come from rap always have that yeah, dreamer mentality. It's like, can I graduate from this life situation that I'm currently in? This hell that I live in, is there more to life than this? And I haven't touched a million yet, but I can tell you with confidence, without even touching a million dollars, that it's very much possible. Some would say the pursuit of the dream is the dream itself. That's the most fun part about life, is that knowing and believing that you could change your circumstances. I've had a lot of fun with that in my life, Rich. And at 39, I say this to my girl all the time. I'm really excited about the next 40 years of my life. I can't wait until I attack and chase down these dreams that I have as a 40-year-old. And I know that may sound crazy. It sounds crazy saying it, but I've done it so many times in my younger life, I don't even got to fight the idea of somebody hating on me. I'm just like, all right, cool. Yeah, you don't have to believe it, but I'm pursuing it. And that right there is the equivalent of a dog running in a backyard and digging holes for fun, even though he dig 20 holes yesterday. You know, some dogs just enjoy digging holes, and that's what they do. And then some dogs just lay down all day. I just so happen to be one of those sicklos, and I I co-sign anybody that has a big dream or an ambitious goal. Go for it. Don't let nobody kill it.

SPEAKER_03: 1:09:20

I love that, bro. There you have it, man. Dream killers. Hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Check us out on YouTube at Failures Media and uh hit the subscribe button, man. We need more subscribers. I know you guys are listening to the podcast, but you're not going on YouTube, so hit us with a subscribe. Out of here. Peace.