Failures Podcast
Failures Podcast is a raw, no-fluff self-development show for men navigating life without a manual.
Hosted by Rich and Justin, two lifelong friends with over 20 years of brotherhood, this podcast explores fatherhood, masculinity, legacy, discipline, regret, purpose, and generational healing through one unfiltered lens: failure.
Each week, they share real stories, hard lessons, and invisible influences that shaped who they’ve become, and how younger men can learn from it.
Whether you’re figuring out how to be a father, chasing financial freedom, trying to become more disciplined, or healing from the way you were raised, this show is for you.
We’re not gods. We’re not gurus.
Just two men who have lived, failed, grown, and learned the hard way so you don’t have to.
🎙️ New episodes every week
📲 Follow @FailuresMedia on all platforms
🧠 Join the movement: https://failuresmedia.com/subscribe
Failures Podcast
The Dating Recession: Why Men Are Opting Out of Dating
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Dating feels harder than ever for a lot of men. Dating apps are exhausting, first dates are expensive, rejection can destroy your confidence and staying home starts to feel easier than putting yourself out there again.
In this episode of Failures Podcast, Rich and Justin break down the dating recession and why more young men are opting out of dating altogether. They talk about dating burnout, social isolation, unrealistic expectations, the rising cost of dating and what happens when a few bad experiences convince you that relationships are no longer worth the effort.
Rich shares what happened when he returned to dating after years away and immediately questioned whether getting back in the game was a mistake. Justin tells the story of spending nearly $1,000 on a Dodgers date only to get stood up and explains why that rejection did not stop him from continuing to date.
They also discuss:
• Why men are giving up on dating
• Dating apps vs meeting women in real life
• How loneliness and social isolation make dating harder
• Why expensive first dates are not necessary
• How rejection affects male confidence and ego
• Unrealistic dating standards created by social media
• Why dating requires repetition, failure and experience
• How to meet people outside of dating apps
• Why you should measure your effort instead of your results
• How to get back into dating after a long break
The message is simple: if you want love, companionship or a relationship, you cannot build human connection in isolation. Dating can be awkward, expensive and frustrating, but every bad date, rejection and failed attempt gives you more information about what you want and who you are compatible with.
You do not need every date to work. You only need one relationship to work.
Failures Podcast 2026
We're not gods. We're not gurus.
Just two men in our 30s sharing what we’ve learned the hard way so you don’t have to.
🎙️ New episodes every week
📲 Follow @FailuresMedia on all platforms
🧠 Join the movement: https://linktr.ee/failuresmedia
If this episode helped you, share it. That’s how we grow.
The more shots you take, the less precious a miss of a shot feels like because you know you're gonna shoot a few more. This is a problem when you only take one shot. Take more shots. They're free. Don't be weird. Don't try to kill the dragon in one shot. This is a volume game, my boy. I worked sales my whole life. It's a lot harder to close a deal when you only make two calls. Sometimes you gotta up that volume, you gotta up them reps. Failures podcast. Today we're talking about the death of dating. Why are men opting out in 2026? I mean, they've been opting out, but the numbers are getting worse and worse. What we came to the conclusion of is that this dating situation for men, it's not a crisis about getting girls or wanting girls. That's a problem from 20 years ago. The new issue is a crisis of participation. Men quite literally stopped participating in the process that gets them women. Now, here we have a big issue. 64% of young men haven't had one real date this year. We're reaching the end of the year. Not one is a date. That means if you gathered 10 men, nearly seven of those guys could walk right out of the room and it'll only leave you three that have attempted a shot. No, no, no. Actually, went to a basketball court, fuck the shot. That is insane. This is what we're gonna unpack today. Rich and I are actually going to try an exercise where we jump into the life worldview, the side of men that are having this problem and have already opted out. And we're gonna go through the list of reasons that feel reasonable. If I was a guy 22 years old, would I agree with these points? One point before we get to the rest of them, Rich, the average date, not in major cities, but throughout the United States, numbers go up in major cities. The average date costs a man anywhere between $175 to $250. Imagine doing that five days a week and also not getting a kiss at the end of the night in any of those dates. I too see why I'd be frustrated in the process and wouldn't want to participate anymore. But Rich, I know you're in a happy relationship now, but can you go back in the time machine? Was it like four or five years ago, where you were on the hunt downloading dating apps for the first time, going on dates for the first time when you were single? Did you feel this pressure? Were you ever in the headspace that these guys are in? Did you ever feel like you didn't want to participate and quit?
SPEAKER_00Bro, was I? Absolutely. I was on every single dating app you can possibly think of, swiping hundreds of times a day, bro. I would I lived in that hell for at least a good three years. And fortunately, I'm in a happy relationship, bro. And I'm so glad I got out of that single mode where you just continue swiping to find a match. But man, this crisis is so crazy, just like people not opting out of dating because of financial circumstances, right? Like going out on a date is crazy expensive these days. Men are also going through social isolation. So if you look at your current lifestyle, you're going to work, you're going to the gym, you go home, you make yourself some food, you Netflix and chill for a little bit, and that's it. It's bedtime, right? Like you didn't give yourself any opportunity to go outside or go out to a function to meet anyone, right? And they're completely happy in that like social isolation bubble that they created for themselves. And then you have like the people who just don't want to date at all, right? Like they're just like, man, the requirements that women have these days is crazy, bro. I could never meet these expectations. A woman wants you to have a house, have a six-figure job, they want you to have a luxury car and take them on extravagant vacations. Like, I can't keep up with that, right? So think about the headspace of a young guy just going through all these different scenarios of like, damn, the dating world feels hard, feels harsh, feels like a lot of work. Like, why would I opt into all that work?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it feels like a casino that's rigged. Dating in 2026 feels like a casino that's rigged. You're putting money in the slot machine and you're not getting anything back. You're not even getting close. And I think all the people, the young men dating, are sitting across from each other in this rigged slot machine, and they're looking at each other and they're creating communities, and they're saying, is it just me or no one is winning? And they're leaving the casino. I can't lie, Rich. I can see why someone will quit. And we're not gonna let them do that. At least in this episode, we're gonna try to help give some practical advice and some horror stories that we've been through. And we're talking about four or five years ago. This wasn't like we were dating back in fucking '98. But the game is getting worse and we relate. We feel you. Don't go anywhere. We're gonna get to some tactics that could allow you to get your dick wet. Maybe. But Rich, stay in that headspace because you had a viral clip, one of our few viral clips, about being guilty of being the guy that puts his headphones in all day and doesn't pay attention to the world. And I think that relates to this episode. A lot of these men don't have third places that used to exist where men can just hang around their friends and potentially meet other people. And that's a huge reason why a lot of the motion and the potential prospects are not in their world because they got their head down and they're living in these little bubbles.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's true. And if you want to opt in, right, if you ultimately want to date and find a girlfriend, but you're not putting yourself in those scenarios to do that, then you know you're obviously gonna make the dating scene a lot more challenging for yourself. And man, just I gotta tell you this horror story, bro, because like I still have PTSD from this date today. Wait, wait, when you were single and on the dating apps, horror story? Single on the dating apps, but prior to downloading the dating apps, I had gone on a dating hiatus. So I was in this dating recession for a good three or four years post my baby mother, post having a child, right?
SPEAKER_01Were you working on yourself? Was there a reason why you weren't dating?
SPEAKER_00I was working on myself, getting my money right, you know, getting my own apartment. So certainly a lot of self-development. But I got to a point where I felt like, man, I think I want love. I think I want intimacy. I think I want companionship. I need to put myself out there in order to meet someone. Yeah. Don't ask me why. The first app that I downloaded was Tinder, but I downloaded Tinder and I was like, fuck it. You know what? The first girl I match with, I'm gonna take her out on a date. I'm gonna break this dating rut. I salute you.
SPEAKER_01Ball move. First match for real?
SPEAKER_00Sure it wasn't a sex robot? Bro, what a terrible decision. So I match with this girl, right? Lives a couple miles away, right? We go out on a date local, like North Bregan, New Jersey. We go out on this date, and she looks a little different than what she did in the pictures, but you know, I'm like, okay, pulling one of these fast ones on me. But needless to say, I'm I'm in the date, I'm here, like, let's do this, right? So we start having small talk. We order food, about 30 minutes in, she goes, Yeah, you know, because I died, right? So, like, there's that. And I'm like, excuse me, but what did you just say? She's like, I died. I'm like, You died? How did you die? She's like, Well, it's a long story, but the short story is that I got into a car accident. I went into a coma, and when I got out of the coma, my family members said that I came out a different person. Bro, I didn't even have my food yet before she laid this trauma on me. And I was just like, oh man, like, Chuck, please. You know what I'm saying? But I wanted to get out of there, you know? And I stayed a gentleman, I finished the date, you know, we went our separate ways. But I just remember going back home from that dating experience and being like, damn, is this what the dating world has to offer? Like, is this what I'm breaking my non-dating streak for? Is to have experiences like this. And, you know, there's nothing wrong with her having her trauma and her past like experience and unfortunate circumstances. But this was my first entry back into the dating scene, and this was what I was being met with. So it just fucked me up because a part of me wanted to go back into like that dating recession that I was in for many years.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Rich, you are reliving a story that is the current life that this young guy who clicked on this episode is watching this YouTube video and thinking, yeah, man, you get it. There's not a lot for me out there. I've been to all the thrift stores. Nothing worth my money in any of these stores. There's a reason why these people are still on dating apps. These women that are willing to go on dates with me, and I emphasize with me because I think a lot of these guys think less of themselves, they already know they're gonna get a half-bitten sandwich in their Uber Eats bag because it's something that's not premium, it's not pristine. They know that. And you took the L, and I appreciate you sharing the story, to be like, you know what? I just gotta get out of a rut. I gotta bust a nut, and I gotta get back out there. This being single shit is not for me. I lied to myself. I told myself I'd be happier alone, and by month six, I started looking at curvy fucking trees differently because I haven't been with a woman in so long. This happens. You're a man, you're a young man, you got a lot of testosterone, you want to get back out there. But you're sharing a very deep pain that most men won't share. And we kind of laughed about it, Rich. But think about that. You haven't been active in a minute. And you took the first thing that came to you. And if you were a quitter, somebody that was looking for validation and all your negative thoughts, you would have never gone back out there. Because you would have been like, look, this is what the world has to offer me. I'd rather be alone. I'm just gonna chat with this AI companion. I'm gonna blow through half of my paycheck on OnlyFans, and I'm just gonna be by myself because it's easier that way. It's less expensive that way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. And I mean, listen, just if you're opting in, right? Like if you're the type of man who wants to be on dates and ultimately wants to have a girlfriend, unfortunately, my man, you're gonna have to go through a lot of bad dates and you're gonna have to take a couple L's. Dating is expensive, it's exhausting, it's embarrassing in certain cases, and you have to be okay with going through all of that adversity in hopes to find the person that you're well aligned with to ultimately make your girlfriend and then in the future make your wife. But like that's a hard pill to swallow, just because I had to learn that shit the hard way. Like, I wanted my first match, like I didn't want to waste time dating, I just wanted to find beeline it to like the woman of my dreams, right? That's not rooted in reality. You have to date to see what you like, what you don't like, what you tolerate, what you're not willing to tolerate, where your boundaries are, right? Like these are all nuances that you only learn through reps and failure and dating.
SPEAKER_01It's a cycle, it's a self-feeding cycle. The less you put yourself out there when it comes to dating, the less people you meet, the less confidence you have, the more you want to stay in your happy place and not experience any friction, any denial, any woman telling you that you're not good enough, or not texting you back and reminding you that you're not good enough. It's a cycle, it feeds itself. But that same cycle feeds the opposite way as well. The more you go out, the more friends you hang out with, the more women you may interact with, the more times you go to the gym, the more times you get out of your room, it's the top of that cycle in the positive way. Now you're speaking to people, it doesn't always have to be romantic. Not everybody wants to fuck you. The woman at Target at the cash register doesn't want to have sex with you immediately. But if you speak to her enough times, when you go to Target, and for whatever reason you go into Target a lot, because there's a cute girl in there, don't be weird. But you can build dialogue, you can build familiarity. You can be someone just came from the gym and ended up at Target and you start small talk. That small talk, the fourth time you run into this girl, if the target is across the street from your house, it's gonna turn into a vibe. Even if she's in a relationship, even if she's not looking for a partner and she's single, you're gonna exist in her orbit. I promise you, you will leave that target with a little pep in your step. You'll have a little bit more confidence in yourself, thinking, damn, this shit is like a snowball of positive momentum. The more I talk, the more the world gives me feedback, the more I feel better about myself. And you're not trapped in your head all day listening to doom content, dark content that is validating that women ain't shit, the juice is not worth the squeeze, and society has set me up to be alone my whole life. The more you feed yourself that narrative, the more you live in that world. And I'm not looking to stack on top of the person that's going through a struggle. I'm just trying to say whatever you expose yourself to becomes your reality. So you're not gonna solve your problem by going out more. I promise you, it just doesn't happen that quickly. But it will get you out of a funk. It will start feeding the positive cycle in your life, reversing the negative cycle that you've been in.
SPEAKER_00That's such a great point, Jess. And the problem is they stop trying, bro. They stop trying. Like that shit is crazy to me. And if we zoom into the subtopics of why they stopped trying, if we zoom in on the money, no, we have to talk about that one.
SPEAKER_01When I read that fact, just alone, $250 per date. Crazy. If you're going out five days a week, I'm not good at math, but I think that's over $1,000. That is rough. In a month, you're paying rent towards dating. And then you actually have to pay rent so you can have somewhere to sleep. Bro, you got it, you got it off top, you got to be making $8,000 a month just to be an active participant in the dating world. And that's not talking about car payment, gas, getting a haircut, having someone clean your apartment, or you got to clean it yourself, food, bro. The whole dating market is fried. And I get why men are resistant towards spending more money in the dating world if they're not gonna get anything from it.
SPEAKER_00I get it too, just and you know what? Let's ask ourselves that question, right? Are we spending the 200 on the date to feed our ego, to impress the girl? Or is that the baseline standard that every woman is expecting out of a man in the dating world in 2026? I don't know. It could be all three, right? But I think one nuance that I would zoom in on is just like, bro, you have to find crafty strategic ways to take girls out on a date. But I remember one day I literally had a first date at the gym. I know it sounds weird, and we were both like sweating and working out, but I figured if I could work out with this person, I could probably be in a relationship with them. That was my my headspace, and that was zero dollars, bro. Like I didn't spend any, maybe I bought her a smoothie after the workout or something, but that was an easy way for me to meet someone, do what I enjoy doing, which is working out, and seeing if there's any synergy there. But you have to find strategic ways to take girls out where you're not blowing the bank, a stroll in the park, a cup of coffee, right? Like, hey, I'm going to Costco. Like, do you want to come and join me for a grocery run? Bro, hiking.
SPEAKER_01I just found out the pizza in Costco is this big. I was there the other day. That's two slices right there.
SPEAKER_00Let me tell you something. There's so many samples in Costco that she might be full by the time you guys leave there and you won't have to spend any money.
SPEAKER_01If you are a man dating in 2026 and you are spending the national average of $175 to $250 per date, what you really should do to save yourself some money is you should take her to Costco, get all the free samples, buy two $2 slices, split that, and then if she's a great date, go back inside and buy a flat screen TV because that's how much you would have spent on two dates anyway, and let her leave with a flat screen TV. I promise you that girl will never forget you. I swear to God. Cause bro, two dates costing $500 is a shit that's outside of my price range, and I make decent money.
SPEAKER_00Hey, Jess, I'm sold on that strategy, bro. I love uh a new flat screen TV. Hey, I'm sorry it didn't work, but I bought you a flat screen. But listen, I think that's part of the the headspace that these young men fall into, right? It's just like I need to impress this girl. Great point, right? I need to show her that I'm financially stable. And I think part of the issue is we're always showing up to the date, wanting to make the girl believe that we are providers. That's what you're selling to them, right? Hey, I just spent $250 on this date. I'm financially stable. I got the money to take you on an expensive date. I'm a provider. Please choose me, right? Think about it. And the woman on the other end has to pretend to be all flattered and like, oh man, you know, he bought me so many drinks and uh we went to a really nice restaurant. But I feel like that's part of the strategy thing that I'm talking about. It's like, at least on the first date, bro, like don't show out on the first date. Do something casual, do something calm. Because remember, Just the first date, you're just trying to see if there's chemistry. You're just trying to see if you guys can get along, right? But if you're blowing the bank 250 first date, boom, and you don't get some and you don't like her, now you're negative 250 and you just blew a night. You got some good food and you went back home sad by yourself.
SPEAKER_01Yep. And listen, if you're if you're a happy place and the goal that you have in your mind when dating, in today's market of dating, which is young men have a very low success rate. If you're confident enough, if you're willing enough to say, you know what, fuck it. I'm gonna try, I'm gonna get back out there. And you truly put your best foot forward and you're not afraid to shoot out some DMs or text some girls that you know from college that you haven't spoken to in a while, or you know, send them a like on Instagram, whatever the case may be. If you put your best foot forward and you're out there trying to get some traction back, trying to get some responses back, I want to say, give yourself credit. You got your ankles and your knees in the water. You're not fully in there yet, but I want to give you credit because you're trying to swing that momentum in the positive direction. And just know the more shots you take, the less precious a miss of a shot feels like because you know you're gonna shoot a few more. This is a problem when you only take one shot. Take more shots. They're free. Don't be weird. Don't try to kill the dragon in one shot. Slowly introduce yourself. Hey, what's up? How you been? Respond, oh wow, that outfit looks great on you. Damn, that's a cool place. Do you know where I can get sushi around here? Whatever. Just keep taking shots. High volume, the more shots you take when you're trying to not be alone, the less each shot becomes precious. This is very important to remember because you won't feel like an idiot when you only shoot one DM and you don't get it back. Now, I could see the mama's boy or the good guy, quote unquote good guy saying, Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, bro, you're just gonna DM everybody and you don't even care if you do or don't like them. This is a volume game, my boy. I worked sales my whole life. It's a lot harder to close a deal when you only make two calls. Sometimes you gotta up that volume. You gotta up them reps. And with the reps, like you said before, Rich, comfort kicks in. You start getting used to hearing no. You start finding out why girls like you. You may not like them, but on date number one, you could be like, be honest, what's the one thing that made you come out tonight? And she'll be like, nah, I got to see a picture of your big ass house. You live in a cool apartment. It looks like you got money. Like, all right, noted. Money is my thing. Oh, you got a great smile. Noted. I'm gonna smile more in my pictures. You have to start creating the back and forth so you start getting more information so you can start building towards this dream place that you want to be, which is you a year from now, with some fine shit tucked up under your arm, watching the Odyssey. On bootleg. I want that for you because I have that in my life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Listen, Justin, sometimes the rejection is not just a simple no. It's a strategic, like, oh, I only see you as a friend, right? Or I don't see you that way. Like that shit hurts even more because you're like, damn, like, am I not like sexually attractive? You know what I'm saying? Like you start to ask yourself some of these questions. I mean, you remember my museum story, bro.
SPEAKER_01Trust me, I know the feeling.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But listen, just it's all about strategy, bro. And if you are opting in, if you are actually wanting to date, you have to play the game and you have to strategize, right? Like you need to understand if there's someone that you want to date, right? And she loves museums, you should probably steer the first date to a museum. Yeah. Because now you're bringing her to a natural habitat that she enjoys, right? And you were thoughtful enough to tie her interests with the first date, right? Strategy. You don't have to look like a fucking 10 out of 10 guy or have all the money in the world or pull up in a beamer to have that nuanced detail of tying her interest to the first date. That is just basic dating strategy and just being a little aware and listening to what a woman wants and listening to what she says to you. So that's one of my pieces of advice, just like you gotta listen to women and you gotta just show up in a way that um makes them more attracted to you.
SPEAKER_01Rich, it's funny that we have so many episodes on this podcast. I think we're in the 60s now, going into the 70s. And it's interesting how even if we're talking about work and employment, making more money, or women, some of these strategies and some of these like approaches to solving your problem, they overlap. They just got different words or titles to them. But if I was thinking about what you just said, you could look at dating, like the job market. Like if I don't want to be unemployed anymore, I have to go out and see what the people who are hiring are willing to pay me, assuming they want to give me a job. There is a give and a get in all relationships, and you have to remember that there's no difference between a job, employer and employee versus dating. Women who are single that want a man in their lives, and young man who's on the apps and is willing to put their best foot forward to show what they're capable of. But I want to go back to a point you made, and I want to keep the job search analogy intact. When you're on a date or when you're going back and forth on text or DM on a dating app, what Rich said was really valuable. What you're vetting for is not someone that wants you. I hope you like me. Oh, I hope you like me, please pick me. You wouldn't do that at an employer because you could walk your ass straight to the Dunkin' Donuts down the block, and I'm pretty sure they'll give you a job. What are you gonna get after you take that job? Is the truth. Now take that and flip it to a relationship. Oh, please, I hope you pick me. I would do anything for a girlfriend. That woman is gonna see you as non-valuable. So to your point, Rich, it's you have to see, do we like each other? That's what the dating process is about. You're vetting, she's vetting. You're on this side, she's on this side. You're trying to meet somewhere in the middle, and you can't truly vet for do we like each other versus please be my girlfriend, please touch my arm. Two different people that show up for that date. So you always have to put your best foot forward and you always have to bring a value proposition. If we're speaking strategy, just remember it's like a job. Have something to offer, be of value. And if you don't have that, build that. And when you show up to the date, assume that she wants that value, and vice versa. This is not a pick me situation. If you're a pick me guy, it's a terrible way to live in the dating market because women don't want to be with guys that want to be picked.
SPEAKER_00That's a great point, Jess. And you know what I'm struggling with, bro? And I hate to villainize like an entire generation of men, but I feel like there's this like doomsday narrative of a lot of these young guys where they're just like, yo, the job market sucks. The economy is through the roof, inflation is crazy, I can't find a woman to date, birth rates are down, so no one's having children, right? Oh, and like I'm socially isolated in my one bedroom apartment with 25 other roommates. Like, it's just crazy to me how like the headspace of like this younger generation is just like everything is bad, so why should I try? Why should I try and go out and get the job when I'm competing with 250 other viable candidates? Why should I go into the dating world when dating is expensive, it's exhausting, and it's hard work. And I think you really need to ask yourself is like, bro, get out of that mode. Like, you can't complain about wanting the things that you want and not be ready to do the hard work that it takes to obtain the things that you want. If you want the girl, you have to date. And unfortunately, what comes with that is some L's. You're going to take some L's in the dating world. For sure, for sure. And you're gonna learn a lot of things about yourself and about what you want along the way. But I I'm struggling to understand this whole opting out angle because I don't feel like that's an option if you ultimately want a girl, want a wife, and then a happy life.
SPEAKER_01Think about the title of this episode, The Dating Crisis. Why men are opting out? Question mark. That's the question we have to answer today, Rich. Because the young man that's sitting on the other side, he's probably saying, Well, it's obvious. You just went through a whole 30 minutes of why I opted out. But the opt-out, is it an opt out or did you lock yourself out? Did you force yourself out of the game, or were you forced out of the game, or did you take yourself out of the game? This is a very important thing to distinguish because the crisis we're facing has to do with participation. Do you want to participate in the dating market? If the answer is no, then you gotta go because there's nothing here for you. But if you're the man who is opting out, but you know, damn, I do want the prize, Justin. I do want to be in the presence of women and friends, and I want to have a social life, and I want to have somebody I can go out with. I'm not mad at the game, I'm just not good at the game. Then stay right here, man. This episode is definitely for you because the guys who voluntarily are locked out and they have no choice, I feel bad for them. But this episode is not for them. If you're still in the game, you still got your head in the game, you have to ask yourself, damn, I'm probably just not doing a good enough job at increasing my invisibility. I'm not doing a good enough job to build my confidence. I'm not doing a good job, you have to have some of that accountability. And I know our guys are weak right now. I know our guys are in a weak headspace, but you have to own that because if you can't own that, you can't move forward. That is what we have to get to today, Rich, because the crisis is participation.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, that's a great distinction. And I think it starts with the social isolation issue, Jess. It's just like a lot of these dudes are living a busy lifestyle, right? They're working, gym, going home, you're watching your favorite show, then it's bedtime, and you don't give yourself an opportunity to meet someone. You know, I think the first step for a guy living that lifestyle is certainly to download a dating app. But I think that's just step one of like ultimately getting back out there and getting your brain going into a place where you're accepting of a first date, right? But the first issue is just your lifestyle and the social isolation that has contributed to you being out of the game. So I do advocate for the dating apps, but to your point earlier, I also advocate for you to go outside, right? Like become a regular in a place, anywhere, bro. Church, the library, the fucking local pool hall, right? Like a run club, a hiking club, right? Like a book club, like something that people start to see you there regularly, and then you can potentially meet other people, but you have to get out of this like rut of the day-to-day work, gym, home, sleep, work, gym, home, sleep. You know what I mean? Like that hamster wheel doesn't allow for you to meet someone new and ultimately date. So I would start there.
SPEAKER_01Rich, if I were to tell you where I met the woman that I'm currently dating, but any woman that I dated in the time that I was in LA, I would say half of my connections came from dating apps. But the better half that came with more attractive women, more engaged women, more interested women, actually came from hanging out with my guy friends with nothing to do on a Thursday or a Friday, playing pickup basketball, going to a pool hall. I work in music, obviously. So going to music events, Spotify's having a mixer, go out there. And you'll be shocked to your point by how many times that you hang around the same groups of people, you'll start running into people that you probably didn't think were attractive the first time you saw them, but maybe they weren't in a great outfit or they didn't come out looking their best that day. Then you see them a second time and you have a short combo with them, and now their personality is rubbing off on you, and they are feeling the same about you. Oh, the last time I saw him, he didn't have his hair braided. The last time I saw him, he didn't have a haircut. The last time I saw him, I didn't see him in his new Tesla. The last time I saw him, he was standing next to his more handsome friend, which I found out was married after. It doesn't matter. The more you're out, the more you're mixing it up, the more opportunities you're getting people to learn you on a personal level. There's many layers that go beyond a dating app. A dating app means if you get five no responses on your DMs on a dating app after a match, that doesn't mean she rejected you. It means she rejected your pictures. Because she doesn't know who you are. So you shouldn't be so discouraged. I know it sucks. I've definitely been there before where you're firing back and forth with a girl and then she just stops talking to you. I feel like shit after that would happen to me. But I would say in real life, it's a lot harder to someone to ignore your personality because if they like your personality, they're gonna stay in touch with you. Because you're not just two-dimensional as you are on a dating app. You're three-dimensional in real life. So people can get a real feel for who you are. Those are the relationships that stick longer because our brains are multidimensional. We experience people in real life different than we do on social media. You want to give yourself a fair shot. If you're not six foot five and you're not somebody that's making $300,000 a year, you want to be outside because you have to let your personality speak for itself. You have to let your weirdness speak for itself. And by weirdness, I mean the things that people will find charming if they match your level of weirdness.
SPEAKER_00That's such a great point, Jess. Man, and another piece of advice that I would share, bro, is like, I feel like you have to remove all expectations when you're stepping into the dating world. I feel like a lot of young guys come into that scene like, I gotta, I gotta fuck, I gotta get a girlfriend, I need to have sex, right? Like, and you come with all these preconceived expectations to every date, right? And I feel like that causes nervousness, right? You're antsy, you don't know what to say, you say the wrong things, right? I feel like if you remove those expectations and you naturally show up to date to genuinely meet the other person and see if your interests align with no expectation attached, other than meeting the person across from the table from you, I feel like that'll give you a little bit more comfort and it'll allow you to be in more social settings that'll ultimately make you feel comfortable, you know. And those reps will ultimately give you that charisma that you need to socialize with more people and go on more dates. But when you come into those dates with that preconceived notion of like, I'm gonna try to fuck, you know what I'm saying? Like, uh, hopefully she'll be my girlfriend after five dates, and then we'll see where we go from there. It's like, nah, bro, like you're trying to shortcut the dating in order to get to your ultimate goal, but date one, the ultimate goal shouldn't even be in your brain, right? Like that's the that's the last step in the in the dating process.
SPEAKER_01There's a phrase that I learned from like just mastering yourself on a work level that I think it fits for a young man who's dating but is not getting the results they want. And to your point, Rich, I think a lot of the content that these young men consume is tips, tricks, and hacks in how to get the result you want 20 times faster. You can put anything on social media under that banner, and it's probably gonna get the most engagement. If I said it right now, do you want to get a girlfriend in half of the time it took me? Stay here. I'm gonna give you the top three tips to make that happen. There's something in your brain, if you were truly listening out a podcast, that you'd be like, I'm locked in. I must listen to this. Well, here's the spoiler: there is no tip or trick that's gonna expedite your curve to getting what you want because there's no way to predict what you're putting out into the world. So I don't even know who you are, I don't know where you're falling short. I would have to be in your scenario, be in your ear to actually coach you through this process. So I'd be lying as a creator if I told you I know exactly what to tell you to do in order to get a girl. The greater point is measure your output. The one thing I learned from the workplace that has made me a great executive and it made me really good at dating is distinguish the difference between measuring and tracking your output versus the results of your input. So if you track your output, you're tracking your effort, you're tracking your reps, you're tracking how many times you're doing something. That should be the measurement of your confidence. That should be the measurement of your happiness because you're saying, you know what? You know what, boys? We went out four times this week. I popped out to a few brunches, I popped out to a few mixers, I went to the coffee shop, I went to Target, I walked around the block that I live in. I tried to chat people up. I try to chat up the crossing guard, I try to chat up the lady at the bodega, whatever it is. You're putting effort into the world and you're not validating and giving yourself confidence based on the results you get. Track your output. That's very important if you're trying to build this whirlwind of opportunity. You're just kicking up dust, hoping something happens that's positive. Now I know that's not gonna get you exactly what you want. And I'm pretty sure half of our audience clicked off right now because they're like, fuck, he didn't give me the five-minute recipe. I need that. I need the two-minute abs. Stop paying attention to all that shit online and just get your reps up, get your probability up. Just put more output into the world and you'll be shocked. The DM you sent the girl three months ago, she'll blindly hit you back three months later and be like, hey, sorry I didn't get back to you. I deleted this app for a while. My ex came back into my life, and now I can confirm that he's a piece of shit. I really enjoyed our conversation we had. If you don't mind, I'd love to link up with you for a $700 date. You sometimes you gotta do it.
SPEAKER_00Sometimes you gotta do it. That's a great point. And I'm glad you mentioned like social media because if you think about someone who's been in a rough for a while but wants to date, I think one of the first places you see a point of reference is social media, right? You open Instagram, you see your boys all booed up with their ladies, right? Or you see your best friends from back home or from college all uh cuddled up, and you're like, damn, I think I kind of want that, right? So that's the first comparison. Second comparison is like you see these influencers, baddies, bro, like OF baddies. You're like, damn, but I want me a girl like that. Like she needs to be a nine, a 10, you know, coke bottle figure, right? So I feel like your brain starts to like mush in a way where you're like, nah, I'm only dating if I could have this, right? She gotta look like the OF model, the social media influencer, the girls I see in porn videos, and you go to the dating world in a way that's unrealistic to what you can obtain, right? And then when you fail, right, because you're chasing the tens, you're like, oh man, you see, all girls are the same. This dating thing is not for me. This is why I'm single. But I feel like you're showing up to the game, trying to play the game in a super hard mode. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you gotta pause and see what mode you're playing this game in because you're not playing the game in reality, you're not playing the game the way you should be playing the game, and you're not playing the game to what's realistic to you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly. And Rich, I do want to get back to this idea that men are no longer participating. That's the core of this episode. And we have to really unearth and give our honest feedback to all right, let's say I'm gonna give you some counterarguments. If there was a third screen in this video or there was a third host on this podcast, and it was someone that was involuntarily practicing celibacy, meaning they haven't had their PP touched in three years, and they truly haven't found a way to solve their problem. So fuck it. They're just like, you know what, I'm just gonna stay focusing on myself because this is not working. If their argument, their counter-argument was I don't have the money to be going on $300 dates three nights, four nights a week, this entire dating process is rigged against me. Why would I get back in the dating market understanding that I have no shot of solving my problem?
SPEAKER_00Again, you have to be willing to op into the game. That's number one. Number two, you have to opt into the game with realistic goals and intentions and place yourself in a dating situation where you're meeting girls that are also in your orbit, you know what I'm saying? To my point earlier, if you're stepping into the dating world, you don't have the $300 to date, but you want to capture the 10 crazy misalignment there, right? Like you're trying to play PlayStation with an Xbox control. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, yeah, this shit doesn't make any sense. I think if you genuinely want to opt into dating, right? You feel like you're missing companionship and you feel like you've been socially isolated for a long time and you want to meet a woman, you have to start there. Okay, that's step one, right, Jess? You have to opt in. You have to want to participate in the game, brother.
SPEAKER_01You gotta be in it to win it. That's it. There's like it doesn't get more sophisticated than that. I don't give a fuck what influencer you follow. One man cannot score a goal if he doesn't have cleats and he's not running around on the field kicking a soccer ball. This is not a difficult concept, it's kind of frustrating. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00No, it's frustrating, but it's practical, right? Because these guys don't want to be single, but also don't want to play the game. That doesn't work. You have to want to opt in in order to play the game. And yes, men out there in the world, this young Gen Z generation, dating is hard. Dating is expensive, dating is exhausting, but it's part of the process because you need to derive at what the ideal woman looks like for you, both physically, intimately, personality-wise, food eating habits, right? Like you don't know what you like or don't like or are attracted to unless you're out there in the field dating different women.
SPEAKER_01Rich, there are very few things in the world that if you solve the problem one time, you potentially could never have to think about this problem ever again. Small group of things that are designed this way. So you should really put a lot of energy and attention into solving this problem one time so you never have to think about it again. Health and fitness is one of those things. If you can look into a diet that truly is something that you can do every day and it can keep your weight down and it can keep you strong enough, then you should find that diet that works best for you. If you want to buy a home and you don't ever want to think about renting an apartment ever again, spend two to three years saving your money, getting your credit score right, finding the right broker, finding the right city, finding the right area. So when you buy your Home, you don't have to think about that again for another 20 to 30 years. And the last one is the most obvious one. It's getting yourself in the best position to vet through a hundred women, 7,000 DMs, 20,000 flakes, women that don't show up at dates. I bought Dodger tickets, expensive Dodger tickets on date number two with a beautiful human. This person flaked on me. Mans was watching a Dodger game, solo dolo, eating popcorn, rooting for Shote Otani by myself. Every inning, I sat there sad, down, bad. I will never do this again. I cleaned the clown makeup off my face that night, woke up the next day, put the clown makeup back on, went back out there. This is how you solve these problems, Rich. You gotta lace them up, you gotta get back out there. If you find a girl that loves you and you love her and you properly vet her, and it's not based off of, oh, she likes me. I don't know if she I like her, but I pay her a lot. No, no, no, no. 50-50. A matter of fact, 55-45. Let her be that much more into you. It'll be a happier life for you. When you solve that problem, you don't ever got to solve it again because you are locked the fuck in long term. Now I know I'm talking about a girl and it doesn't feel that deep, but think about the house. Think about the career change. Think about the diet. All four of those things that I mentioned are things that you just gotta get it right one time. Once you figure that out, you can put your brain and energy into other shit. How do I know? Because I've done it. Rich, how do you know because you've done it? This is what it looks like when your feet are up and you're on vacation. This is what happy feels like. And it's not permanent. Don't get it fucked up. It's not permanent. But I don't have to think about that problem anymore. And I could give advice because I solved that problem. And I only had to solve it one time. So the hundred failed reps, we just needed one win. Just needed one win. And that win currently lives in my home. She's in the other room. She's probably listening to this podcast as I record it, but I'm good. I don't got to think about it no more.
SPEAKER_00Just please, bro. I need you to zoom into that moment where you were left on red at that stadium. Like, what were you thinking at that moment? And then what did you think back home? I generally want to hear because I feel like whatever mental process you derived at between the time you were there and the time that you got back home is exactly the L that you took that ultimately told you that shit will never happen again. I guarantee it, I'll never let that situation happen again. And I'm sure it could help somebody else.
SPEAKER_01That's a tough one because that was probably year one in my dating journey in LA. Yeah. It's a long story. I've shared it on the podcast before, so you could probably find it in an older episode. But point being, you want to know how I was feeling after the fact.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like during and then after. And then, like ultimately, like what was the lesson learned? Like, what did you what did you tell yourself to add to the strategy book that you were like, I cool. Next time I'm confronted with this type of dating situation, this is what I'd do different.
SPEAKER_01For any man that's down bad in 2026 in the dating market, just know that I feel you. Personally, I had one of the most embarrassing things that ever happened to me in my entire life happen to me. I bought fourth row tickets at an LA Dodgers game in the playoffs for a young lady that I was on a second date with. Second date, I was splurging that kind of money. It was north of $800 for two tickets. Not to mention parking and food. By the third inning, I could tell that this girl was flaking on me. Think about how sick I was feeling, knowing that I had already spent nearly a thousand dollars and I was planning what wedding song will I dance with this woman to in our wedding. And I only went on one date. The level of fucking sickness that I felt, that I purposely sat myself in that stadium thinking, damn, this is the lowest I've ever felt in my life. Because this girl knows I bought tickets. I'm here alone. And she decided a flake, just stopped responding after she said, Oh, I had an emergency come up. Rich, I hated the idea of dating at that moment. I hated the idea of ever dating again that night. That morning I woke up. I probably slept three hours. I was sick. I look at my bank account every morning just to make sure my transactions are fine. I was disgusted with my decision making when I saw a $1,000 hole in my bank account for a baseball game. I don't even give a fuck about baseball to try and impress this girl. So if you ask me how I was feeling, it triggers me because I was down bad. I was sad. I didn't want anything to do with the dating world ever again. And then the next morning I woke up and I was alone and I was dusty and I didn't have nobody to kick it with. I didn't have nobody to talk to. I didn't have nobody to go to get lunch or go on a run with or go on a hike with, nobody to laugh with. And that was gravity and reality whipping my ass, telling me, hey man, I know you took an L, but you have to get back out there if you want to solve your problem. Now, if you don't want to solve your problem, shut up. Get off the forum boards, delete the apps, be a lonely person, walk through the world by yourself. Don't remind people that women ain't shit. This is the gripe that I have with young men today in the dating market, because you can't hate what you want to kill. You have to love what you want. Because if you love it, you'll have a better understanding for it. So, yeah, for a week, Rich, after I got flaked on and spent a thousand dollars on baseball tickets, I was mad. I didn't go back on my dating apps because my ego was crushed, my confidence was crushed, and I felt this little for nine innings. If I'm not mistaken, I think the game went into extra innings. But I felt tiny. I'm looking around, looking at people with their families, looking at people with their girlfriends.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I'm just sitting there like, wow, what a fucking loser. I'm a loser. But you know what though? Fast forward five, six years later, I ran into my girl. The story is random. The young lady that I'm with now, I met her outside, started a conversation. It took five times flirting with her before she actually gave me some energy back. And I solved that problem for life. We live together now. And I never think about that moment at the Dodger game until you brought it up. But it took that to get to this moment because I kept pushing forward.
SPEAKER_00Great fucking point, bro. And that's exactly just. If if we take this whole episode and we put it in one fucking glass vase, a bottle. Now you got me tight, bro.
SPEAKER_01I'm actually thinking, you know what's funny? This girl's a dancer. She's a dance, she's a professional dancer. Oh man. In my mind, I remember she's the girl who flaked on me. But I'm sure her mind, she won't even remember it if I brought it up.
SPEAKER_00Isn't that crazy?
SPEAKER_01She'd be like, oh wait, what? Oh no. Uh anyway, she's currently dating a huge rapper, like pretty famous rapper. I ran into her on the lot of where I work, and she was in a rehearsal for a major sporting event that had dancers in it, and we chopped it up, and it was super casual. She was, all jokes aside, I was walking through the cafeteria and she yelled my name in the cafeteria. And I turned around and was like, oh shit. And in my mind, I was tight. I was like, this motherfucker. I haven't seen this girl since she flaked on me. But you know, I kept a P. Just, you know what I mean? She was like, Oh shit, you look cute with your hair like that, still flirting. I was like, oh shit, aren't you with so-asso? And she's like, Yeah, yeah, we've been together for a while. I was like, all right, cool. And I dabbed her up and I was like, all right, be good, twin. And I left. Kept the G. I kept the super gangster wear because I was feeling away when I saw her. But again, back to the original point. I know the joke's on me. I know I have mustard on my shirt and everybody's laughing at me. There's a reason why we call this podcast failures. It's the reason why we call this entire media company failures. Because there's something to be said about failing and then going back and really paying attention to where you went wrong and understanding, oh, this is where I fucked up. I will fix that and continue marching forward. The show is not called fail and go away. The show is called failures. Continue to fail, move forward, gather information, and eventually you're gonna solve your problem. And hopefully, for this topic, not all topics are like this. This is why I keep saying it. For dating, you only got to solve it one time. Get the fuck back out there, figure it out, man. I'm telling you, you're gonna be a happier person.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, just and listen, I think if we're trying to derive at any solution, I think you hit the nail right on the head. It's exactly that. It's the dating world is a mixture of a lot of failure and a lot of L's that you're going to have to take. It's tough, bro. It's it's an ego check every day.
SPEAKER_01It is, it is, bro. I'm sorry, Rich, I have to ask you this question. Do you remember setting up a date, like a being like, okay, this is where we're meeting, this is the time, this is the location, and firing off that text in the morning of that day or in the middle of the day, being like, hey, just confirming that we're good for tonight. And that person not responding. Do you remember that?
SPEAKER_00Yes. Even worse than that. I had a girl text me back and tell me, hey, I actually forgot to mention this last night, but I actually started talking to my ex again, and we're becoming exclusive. We're gonna try this. And I'm like, oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01The barber's cutting your hair, you're like, yo, yo, how much is this cut? He's like 150. You're like, damn.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I'm already down 250 because this was us setting up for the second date. Wow. So I'm down 250, getting a haircut, just bought an outfit. So I'm down a whole crazy bunch of money, right? And I remember that feeling, bro. That feeling fucking sucked.
SPEAKER_01But it's less than the money at that point. We're talking about the way our listener feels, right? Like it's in your stomach. You're like, I ain't shit. I ain't shit. Why do you take it out on yourself? I'm sorry, but I just want to go like, why do you think men take it out on themselves?
SPEAKER_00We all take it personal, bro. We all want to be desirable to the opposite sex. So when we feel a little bit of friction, a little bit of resistance, a little bit of like pushback from the opposite sex, we take it very personal. It's an attack on our ego. And sometimes we don't know how to handle that. Men do not know how to handle personal attacks on our ego. And unfortunately, that's part of the dating process that you need to learn to remove. You have to remove your ego, right? And you have to remove expectations. You can't want to make every woman you date your girlfriend or your wife or even have her sleep with you. You have to go into that situation with zero expectations and hope for the best.
SPEAKER_01Great advice. Great advice. Low expectations is really a cheat code in the dating market. I wouldn't say that for other things, but I love that. That's great advice.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you are holding the controller of your life, bro. This notion that, like, yo, you have to spend $250, you have to get a fresh cut, you have to have a fresh outfit, and like you got to pull up in an expensive car. No, you don't. No, you don't. Invite her to coffee, go for a stroll around the park, play a quiz game, like do something a little bit like out of the ordinary, but you are in control of what the first date looks like. And guess what? You could introduce to her what that first date looks like and see her reaction. If she's cool with the coffee and the walk around the park, that's probably a girl for you. If she's not and is like, ew, I don't go to Cheesecake Factory. Like that.
SPEAKER_01I couldn't find a woman that wouldn't go to Cheesecake Factory. It's one of the best spots in the world.
SPEAKER_00I'm using that as an analogy, uh, a play on the viral clip where the girl got offended when she was, oh shit, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01What was that again?
SPEAKER_00So the girl went viral because she felt offended that the dude took her to the cheesecake factory. He's like, Yo, I thought this was like a decent spot for a first date. She's like, look at me. Who the fuck doesn't love the cheesecake factory? I don't know, but but that's that's my point, right? Like, you are in control of who you date, what the first date looks like, how much you spend. Like, what is this notion that like it has to be what the woman wants, or it has to you have to spend this amount of money, or you have to buy a new outfit, bro? I'm sure you got some fly shit in in your closet that you could wear, just put together something dope, you know. If you don't got money for a haircut, line yourself up a little bit. Hell yeah. I was a pro at that during the pandemic. I'm just saying, just like this notion that we have to come into the dating world with this very specific criteria. If you don't have these things, you're not ready to date. What are those rules that are being made up for young men? There are no rules. You make up the rule. You are playing the game of your life, and you get to create what the rules are and how you show up in the dating market.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you gotta treat the shit like a video game. A young guy will play a video game three or four hours a night. He'd accept everything that comes with that. He'll pay VC, he'll he'll die a hundred times. But that's what the L's are. It's like dying in a video game. Yeah, he'll accept all the alternate universes and the trapdoors of a video game because it's non-consequential. No one's seeing him fail. It's not an actual attack on his personal ego. Play NBA, I mean, play Madden, you know what I mean, like lose, argue with somebody online, but there is a correlation between that and dating. It's like not everything is gonna go the way you think it's gonna go the first time you play it. There are levels to this shit the same way they are levels to video games. And women are heat-seeking missiles for false confidence. Men that are feeling themselves, but they want to see if that jaw can handle a punch. Meaning they want to see if you're really like that or you're just like that over text. Yeah, I know everybody got an AI partner now that they can ask, okay, I'm gonna send this text message. Do you think it's confident? Listen, everybody got robots now, but you can't fake that shit in real life. When a girl tests you in real life or teases you in real life, she's gonna know whether or not you do or do not have the confidence you had on chat. I remember dating first two months, single, pandemic. This is when the world started opening up a little bit more, and you were limited to the amount of people you could see. I had a young lady pull up from an hour out that I knew from her photos on hinge that she was a solid six at best. And these photos were like high angle shots, and she only had three pictures. Spooky when you only got three. No Instagram. And I remember thinking when she pulled up, you know what? I've been out the game for a little bit. This is just a rep, just a rep for me. So I get fresh, risk my life, have someone give me a haircut during the pandemic. That was a very dangerous thing to do. I had to pay extra just to have a guy pull up during the pandemic. So I'm already down 200. I had a house cleaner come in, clean my apartment, one bedroom apartment. That's another 150, do my laundry, another 50. I'm already down. I fill up my fridge, put food in there, get drinks, order bottles of alcohol in case she comes back to the apartment. I'm set up for success, Rich. But the minute she pulled up, she pulled up in an Uber, not in her own car. So instantly I'm like, oh, I gotta send her back in an Uber. Another $60, right? When she got there, she hopped out. She was as unattractive as I thought she'd be, and more. Very unattractive. A lot bigger than I thought. And the photos were probably four years old. So I buckled in and said, fuck it. I'm in. I'm in for the night. This is what I'm doing. Rich, you gotta do it sometimes. You gotta grind. You gotta grind tape. You gotta get your reps in. It's part of the L's. It's part of it. But when she hopped out, Rich, this girl was a lot taller than I thought she was. And when I walked up to her, and we're meeting at the entrance of my apartment. My move is simple. One lap around the block, edgewater. Look at the New York City skyline, and I say, oof, it's getting cold. Let's get inside. Bring her to the crib. This was my formula. Works every time. This is a big woman. She hopped out of the car, big woman. She goes, Oh, I thought you'd be a lot taller from your pictures. I'm thinking, I thought you'd be a lot more attractive and younger from your pictures. But I ain't say that. I kept a player, I kept a player. I was like, Well, hey, uh, great things coming all sizes. Trust me, you're not missing on much. She was like, Oh, maybe you should have worn heels today, and we could have been the same size. Bro, trolling me the minute, and this woman is not up to par. You feel me? But these are the L's you take when you're dated. And she's insulting you. So it's like, I want to say, I want to send you back home right now. But you gotta keep it P. You got to keep marching through. You know what I did, Rich? I took on that first lap around the block. This is the vetting lap. You don't want to let no crazy woman into your house. Yeah, you just do a little walk with them. And I realized, oh, I can't do this. This girl is not my type at all. Like, there's no way I can't even close my eyes and finish this mission. So we just kept walking. And it was like 55 degrees, Rich. And we was out there for like an hour. And she's like, oh, hey, we should probably go inside. I was like, nah, you know, I got some shit going on in my apartment right now. Last minute, like a pipe broke. She's like, wow, at 10 o'clock at night? Like, that's crazy. I'm like, yeah, we should just stay in the lobby and just talk. Rich, I stalled her out, talking about just talking about nothing in the lobby of my building. Security man is looking at me like, damn, my boy, you must be down bad. Anyway, I don't let her upstairs. I'm tight because this girl doesn't look anything the way I thought she would look. And she's just trolling me the whole time. I wind up telling her, hey, you might want to get an Uber now because surge prices hit after midnight. She was like, What do you mean by that? I'm like, your Uber ride back home is gonna be very expensive. You probably should call it now. She was like, Oh, oh, you're not gonna. I was like, look, on first dates, I try not to pay for this woman had to pay for her own Uber, her own Uber home, bruh. And I sent her on her way. And then I went back, door man looking at me like, yo, what happened? I was like, Oh, that's one of my cousins, bro. Like, she's going through a crazy relationship situation. He was like, Oh, I thought that was like a date. I'm like, nah nah, that's my cousin. Like, yeah, you know what I mean? Like, she was going through some shit with her man. She just came back from a party. He was like, Oh, all right, damn, that's what's up. Boom, went upstairs, whatever. Went, we went our separate ways. I say all that to say the dating game is a grind. It's a grind. And if you really want to solve your situation permanently, you gotta be in it to win it, bro. There will be 99 trash interactions. You just need one of them to go right and that person to be with you long term. And you never got to think about it again until you break up or you know, you're back out there. But it's a crazy equation. You got to really think about it that way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, just and listen, uh I'll end on this, man. Like, you don't build human connection in isolation. You don't. You gotta opt into the game. First of all, these guys are not playing the game, right? So you gotta opt into the game, and then you gotta build human connection. And part of that process of building human connection is exactly what you said, just it's taking a lot of L's in the dating world until you ultimately derive at your match as someone you connect with, as someone that you view as a lifelong-term partner, and then it makes all the L's it, bro. Justin's in a happy relationship, I'm in a happy relationship. All those L's that we took got us to this point of happiness that we are in right now. But we took a lot of L's to get here, and you're going to have to take some L's in order to get to where you want to be too. That's the genesis of this whole episode, bro. Get back in the game, get your reps up, take the rejection, take the L's, and let life meet you halfway, bro.
SPEAKER_01If you listened this long, then you definitely want to be in the game. You didn't get locked out, you opted out. So stop opting out, man. Get what's for you. And if this episode was helpful or you enjoyed it, please share it with a friend. That's all we asked for.
SPEAKER_00There you have it, man. Fair this podcast, we out.